{"id":55186,"date":"2021-11-19T07:30:19","date_gmt":"2021-11-19T11:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=55186"},"modified":"2021-12-02T19:32:54","modified_gmt":"2021-12-02T23:32:54","slug":"cut-off-toxic-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/cut-off-toxic-people\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Know When It’s Time to Cut Off Toxic People"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How much do your friendships affect your life? Can a negative influence or unsupportive person really bring you down?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In her bestselling book Girl, Stop Apologizing,<\/em> Rachel Hollis says that the people you spend your time with (your community) mold who you are<\/a>. Hollis talks about the importance of having a community and how to know when it’s time to cut off toxic people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here is why your community matters so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Choosing Your Community<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a popular adage (most often attributed to motivational speaker Jim Rohn) that claims you\u2019re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. <\/strong>In other words, if your friends are all at the top of their game, you probably will be too. Conversely, if all of your friends are criminals, there\u2019s a good chance you will commit crimes as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hollis subscribes to this belief, detailing how your friendships can pull you up or drag you down. She encourages you to surround yourself with people who support and inspire your personal growth<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hollis\u2019s advice? Take inventory of your<\/strong> friendships<\/strong>. Are your friends supportive of your personal growth? Do they have goals of their own? Are they open-minded and committed to lifelong learning<\/a>? If not, they\u2019ll drag you down, and Hollis believes you should limit or eliminate your time with them. She advises you to instead seek out friends who will lift you up<\/strong> and cut off toxic people who bring you down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research Shows That You\u2019re the Average of More<\/em> Than Five People<\/strong>

Research supports Hollis\u2019s belief that your community affects your growth and development\u2014but that community extends well beyond the people closest to you<\/a>.

Bestselling author and former business professor David Burkus has learned through his research on the science of social networks that we are the average of far more<\/strong> than the five people we spend the most time with.<\/a> In fact, our likelihood of becoming smokers or overweight is linked not only to who we spend time with, but to the people those people<\/em> spend time with.\u00a0

According to one study cited by Burkus, if the friend of a friend of a friend is a happy person, you<\/em> are 6% more likely to be happy with your life<\/a>. Compare this with only being 2% happier with your life if you get a $10,000 raise.\u00a0

The message is that you should pay attention not only to your immediate friends, but to all of the social circles you participate in.

Identifying Supportive Friends<\/strong>

In 12 Rules for Life, <\/em>Jordan B. Peterson teaches you how to identify unsupportive friendships<\/a>. He advises you to keep your eyes open for the following red flags: The friend puts down your goals, is jealous when you succeed, downplays your achievements, or attempts to one-up you.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How much do your friendships affect your life? Can a negative influence or unsupportive person really bring you down? In her bestselling book Girl, Stop Apologizing, Rachel Hollis says that the people you spend your time with (your community) mold who you are. Hollis talks about the importance of having a community and how to know when it’s time to cut off toxic people. Here is why your community matters so much.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":55187,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[541],"class_list":["post-55186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","tag-girl-stop-apologizing","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Know When It's Time to Cut Off Toxic People - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The people you choose to spend your time with should be those who lift you up. 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