{"id":55078,"date":"2021-11-26T08:05:20","date_gmt":"2021-11-26T12:05:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=55078"},"modified":"2021-12-02T19:34:21","modified_gmt":"2021-12-02T23:34:21","slug":"learn-to-trust-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/learn-to-trust-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Learn to Trust Yourself: You Are Your Own Authority"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you trust your inner voice<\/a>? Why do many women struggle to trust themselves without validation from men?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditionally, voices of authority were male. Although that trend is finally starting to change, many women still subconsciously struggle to trust themselves. This lack of trust and fear of ambition among women has caused a leadership gap in many industries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s why you need to learn to trust yourself<\/a>, according to Hollis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Trust Yourself <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Learning to trust yourself as the authority in your life is a deliberate act, and it is the first block you should place on top of your foundation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why Is Trusting Yourself a Deliberate Act? <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Hollis notes that throughout history, and across the globe, the vast majority of cultures have been patriarchal. This means that the voice of authority in nearly every government and community has been male since the beginning of time.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On a smaller scale, in many (not all) families, the father is the decision maker. So for most of us, the voice of authority growing up was male, and this is now ingrained in our subconscious beliefs about leadership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re a woman, Hollis says you must rewire this subconscious belief system<\/a> in order to trust your own authority without the need for male validation. This takes conscious effort.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Relationship Between Approval-Seeking and Codependence<\/strong>

Codependency is a psychological condition\u2014often experienced by children of alcoholics and addicts\u2014in which one person has an unhealthy need for another person\u2019s approval. 

Hollis is an admitted codependent. When she was growing up, every decision she made hinged on her father\u2019s potential reaction. She sought his approval and feared his disappointment. 

After a decade of marriage, Hollis realized she had transferred the position of authority from her father to her husband, and she was now living for his<\/em> approval and seeking his<\/em> validation with every decision she made. When Hollis eventually began trusting her own decision-making<\/a> skills, it was a major catalyst for her success.
Codependent No More<\/em> by Melody Beattie explains this pattern of behavior in depth. Her message (and Hollis\u2019s) is that you can only break free of codependence by recognizing that other people\u2019s thoughts and behavior aren\u2019t your responsibility nor are they within your control.<\/a><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Embrace Your Ambition<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

While civilization has long lauded male ambition, Hollis points out that society often views female<\/strong> ambition as a negative character trait<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the many warnings against female ambition, particularly in social media, Hollis contends that ambition is acceptable for all people<\/strong>. Too often, society attaches qualifiers when discussing female ambition\u2014for instance:<\/p>\n\n\n\n