{"id":54730,"date":"2021-12-02T18:09:33","date_gmt":"2021-12-02T22:09:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=54730"},"modified":"2021-12-04T18:21:01","modified_gmt":"2021-12-04T22:21:01","slug":"how-to-be-more-charismatic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-more-charismatic\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be More Charismatic and Still Be Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Want to know how to be more charismatic<\/a>? Is charisma a natural talent or can anyone develop it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people think that charisma is something you either have or you don’t. However, Olivia Fox Cabane dispels that myth in her book The Charisma Myth <\/em>and posits that charisma is a quality that can be learned and developed. She says that the first step to becoming more charismatic is to mastering your mind and emotional state.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how to master your mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Master Your Mind<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you want to know how to be more charismatic, Cabane states that the first step is to master your mind and learn to direct your emotional state on command<\/strong>. She argues that by practicing the right mental habits, you can authentically summon the components of charisma\u2014mindfulness, authority, and goodwill\u2014whenever you need them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Cabane, the reason that this type of emotional intelligence is so important is that you can\u2019t fake the components of charisma.<\/strong> Humans are incredibly good at perceiving others\u2019 true emotions, particularly by observing body language<\/a>. When others scan you for mindfulness, authority, and goodwill, they learn far more from your unconscious body language<\/a> than anything else. If your demeanor contradicts the way you claim to feel, they\u2019ll be able to detect it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cabane argues that you can\u2019t circumvent this incongruence by directly controlling every aspect of your body language\u2014there are too many parts of your body moving and reacting all the time. Instead, she insists that the most effective way to project authority and goodwill is to <\/strong>actually feel<\/em><\/strong> like you have authority and care about others<\/strong>. If these components of charisma are real to you (and you\u2019re able to summon them on demand), they\u2019ll be real to others, because they\u2019ll naturally and authentically show in your body language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are People Really This Transparent?<\/strong>

In Talking to Strangers<\/a><\/em>, Malcolm Gladwell challenges Cabane\u2019s idea that humans are naturally gifted at reading one another\u2019s true emotions<\/a>. Gladwell argues that we\u2019re far more likely to misread each other than we assume\u2014we imagine that others\u2019 body language is an accurate representation of their emotional state, but the evidence shows that this isn\u2019t always the case.

Gladwell cites one psychological study that asked participants to judge whether real people were lying or telling the truth about cheating on a quiz. Around half of the liars and truth-tellers behaved in a way that made people misjudge them 80% of the time. This group not only included talented liars, but also innocent people whose body language and overall demeanor made them seem guilty. 

Still, this doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that cultivating a charismatic mindset (as Cabane suggests) would be a waste of time. Keep in mind, Gladwell\u2019s study was centered around a single interaction. If you intend to form long-term relationships with other people, they\u2019ll be far more likely than Gladwell\u2019s test subjects to eventually detect your true feelings. Additionally, learning to genuinely create a positive mindset<\/a> will be less work in the long run than constantly wearing an emotional mask around others.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Now, we\u2019re going to discuss three of Cabane\u2019s specific strategies to help you master your mind and emotions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n