{"id":54204,"date":"2021-12-03T00:47:19","date_gmt":"2021-12-03T04:47:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=54204"},"modified":"2026-01-22T13:14:35","modified_gmt":"2026-01-22T17:14:35","slug":"the-problem-with-self-help-books","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/","title":{"rendered":"The Problem With Self-Help Books"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you read self-help books? Have you ever thought that reading self-help literature can actually hinder, not help, your progress and self-esteem?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While the desire to better yourself is commonly accepted as a positive character trait, it can be taken too far\u2014damaging both how you view yourself and how you view other people. There are two main problems with self-help books: 1) they can ingrain the message that there&#8217;s something inherently wrong with you, and 2) they overemphasize the self. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the problems with self-help books and the self-help genre as a whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-self-help-implies-that-something-needs-fixing\">Self-Help Implies That Something Needs Fixing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Self-improvement ideas can ingrain the message there\u2019s something inherently wrong with people\u2014and yourself<\/strong>. The idea that there is always something to be improved about yourself can push some people to believe that they are <a href=\"https:\/\/markmanson.net\/self-help\">fundamentally and perpetually inadequate, which can then give rise to feelings of toxic perfectionism. <\/a>Ironically, the self-acceptance they lack is one of the most important factors in self-help success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/best-self-help-resources-books-blogs-podcasts\/\">The problem with self-help books<\/a> is that they tend to push the narrative, \u201cyou can be successful if you try hard enough.\u201d Unfortunately, it implies this inverse statement: \u201cif you aren\u2019t successful, you haven\u2019t tried hard enough, and it\u2019s entirely your fault.\u201d This neglects a wide body of research that suggests a person\u2019s success is often not fully, or even primarily, in his or her control. For many people, larger external forces like poverty, social biases, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-body-keeps-the-score\/chapter-2\">learned helplessness<\/a>, or other headwinds limit the extent to which self-improvement principles can make a difference. In comparison, people who benefit from socioeconomic tailwinds may believe their self-improvement character traits, and not their advantages, were the root to their success; in turn, these people may <a href=\"https:\/\/forge.medium.com\/the-self-help-industry-needs-an-empathy-check-6f5331c5d548\">lack empathy for people who didn\u2019t have the same tailwinds<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-self-help-and-self-care-emphasize-the-self\"><strong><em>Self<\/em>-Help and <em>Self<\/em>-Care Emphasize the Self <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Stephen Covey, the self-help industry is one area of society that particularly emphasizes the self. The same can be said of self-care, which became a mainstream mantra in the 2010s and has been described as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2019\/08\/10\/style\/self-care\/when-did-self-help-become-self-care.html?fbclid=IwAR0ZAxfMWdYgs7olhCEbR3kHALX_y-m72b3GD2CbXlIIEOkWkLGXjuCHP5w\">the gentler cousin of highly disciplined self-help<\/a>. Regardless of the method, both concepts have the same flaw: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/commentisfree\/2020\/jan\/31\/we-need-to-move-on-from-self-care-to-something-that-cannot-be-captured-by-capitalism\"><strong>They focus only on improving and nurturing <em>yourself<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong>, with no mention of how this is inextricably tied with helping <em>your community<\/em>.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The term \u201cself-care\u201d is often credited to Audre Lorde, a black, lesbian, feminist writer and civil rights activist. In her 1988 book <a href=\"https:\/\/store.doverpublications.com\/0486818993.html\"><em>A Burst of Light<\/em><\/a>, Lorde described self-care as \u201cself-preservation\u201d and \u201can act of political warfare.\u201d For Lorde, who was <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/battling-cancer\/\">battling cancer<\/a> at the time, taking care of herself was essential to her ability to continue fighting systemic oppression. By engaging in this \u201cact of political warfare,\u201d Lorde was actually ensuring that she could keep working to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/society-culture\/how-to-make-the-world-a-better-place\/\">make the world better<\/a> for her communities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, Lorde\u2019s interdependent intentions have been <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/commentisfree\/2020\/jan\/31\/we-need-to-move-on-from-self-care-to-something-that-cannot-be-captured-by-capitalism\">distorted by <strong>the current take on self-care<\/strong><\/a><strong>, which often condones pulling away from your community in order to take care of yourself.<\/strong> (Not to mention, when Lorde wrote of self-care as \u201cself-preservation,\u201d she was speaking as a target of multiple layers of oppression as a black woman, a lesbian, a feminist, and an activist. By contrast, many modern self-care evangelists hold more privileged places in society; their self-preservation is a buffer not against oppression but rather against burnout from a relentless pressure to achieve.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>While modern self-care heavily emphasizes the self, Covey includes insight that suggests it may reveal a paradigm of <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/maturity-continuum-7-habits\/\">dependence<\/a> <\/em>rather than <em>independence<\/em>.<\/strong> He writes that sometimes people do selfish things in the name of independence, such as leaving their marriages and families. In reality, these acts typically reveal a <em>lack <\/em>of independence: In contrast to their claims, these people are often struggling with dependencies such as feeling controlled or victimized by other people and circumstances, so they change the circumstances instead of developing true emotional independence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you read self-help books? Have you ever thought that reading self-help literature can actually hinder, not help, your progress and self-esteem? While the desire to better yourself is commonly accepted as a positive character trait, it can be taken too far\u2014damaging both how you view yourself and how you view other people. There are two main problems with self-help books: 1) they can ingrain the message that there&#8217;s something inherently wrong with you, and 2) they overemphasize the self. Keep reading to learn about the problems with self-help books and the self-help genre as a whole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":3830,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[73],"class_list":["post-54204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-7-habits-of-highly-effective-people","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Problem With Self-Help Books - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"According to Stephen Covey, there are two problems with self-help books. 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Discover why he thinks they can do more harm than good.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-12-03T04:47:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-01-22T17:14:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/hero-journey-monomyth-examples.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"776\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"517\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"The Problem With Self-Help Books\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-12-03T04:47:19+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-22T17:14:35+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/\"},\"wordCount\":653,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/hero-journey-monomyth-examples.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/\",\"name\":\"The Problem With Self-Help Books - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-problem-with-self-help-books\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/hero-journey-monomyth-examples.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-12-03T04:47:19+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-01-22T17:14:35+00:00\",\"description\":\"According to Stephen Covey, there are two problems with self-help books. 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