{"id":53767,"date":"2021-11-08T11:06:37","date_gmt":"2021-11-08T15:06:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=53767"},"modified":"2021-11-12T08:58:05","modified_gmt":"2021-11-12T12:58:05","slug":"beneficial-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/beneficial-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Foster Mutually Beneficial Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How can hiring more personnel help you improve your personal relationships? What two things can you do to improve your mutually beneficial relationships?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mutually beneficial relationships aren’t always focused on romance\u2014it’s important to deepen your connections with others, even at work. In their book Who Not How, <\/em>Sullivan and Hardy explain that there are two ways of strengthening your personal relationships: by giving generously and by engaging wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn how personal relationships benefit both parties and how to grow them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Personnel Improves Your Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Investing in personnel saves you time, energy, and money\u2014and you can spend those, the authors of Who Not How<\/em> say, to develop deeper, more fulfilling relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Investing in personnel isn\u2019t just about hiring experts<\/a> for your business\u2014it\u2019s also about investing your time and energy in mutually beneficial relationships.<\/strong> As you free up your time and accumulate resources, the authors explain, it\u2019s natural to deepen your focus on personnel\u2014on people<\/em>\u2014and the connections you make with them. In doing so, Sullivan and Hardy explain, you further your personal growth<\/a> more quickly than you could alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Psychologically speaking, connecting with others strengthens our emotional resilience and comfort with intellectual risk-taking<\/a>\u2014both of which benefit an entrepreneur\u2014but Sullivan\u2019s idea of \u201cgrowth\u201d is much more tangible. What he means is that if someone\u2019s around to help you, you\u2019ll learn skills much more quickly than you would alone.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sullivan and Hardy outline two ways to optimize your connections with others: Ensure you\u2019re not approaching them transactionally, and engage wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Give Generously, Not Transactionally<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

To really connect with others<\/a>, the authors say, you must discard transactionality.<\/strong> In other words, stop thinking about what\u2019s in it for you\u2014let go of the cost mentality. When you always try to get more out of people than you give, Sullivan and Hardy explain, your relationships fall apart\u2014you become a drain on the resources, time, and energy of others, and they don\u2019t benefit from being around you. Instead, whether you\u2019re attempting to connect personally or professionally, be generous and focus your attention on what you can give. For instance, ask yourself what you can do to improve the other person\u2019s ability to achieve their goals. If you do, people will flock to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In Drive<\/em><\/a>, Daniel H. Pink elaborates that transactionality ruins relationships by boiling them down to a series of rewards and punishments<\/a>. In short, not only will nobody you treat transactionally go above and beyond for you, they\u2019ll intentionally give you their bare minimum. Why? Because you show them there\u2019s no point in interacting with you unless you reward them for it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s especially important to be generous in your personal relationships, the authors note.<\/strong> If you have children, for example, you\u2019re key \u201cpersonnel\u201d for them\u2014your resources, knowledge, and attention are critical determinants of their success. When you invest generously in them, you dramatically improve their ability to achieve stellar outcomes in their lives. When you don\u2019t, you do irreparable harm to their chances of success, as well as to your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Children provide a remarkable return on investment\u2014financially and emotionally<\/a>. Just giving your child time and attention on a daily basis improves the quality of the relationships they build and seek, as well as their emotional well-being<\/a>. An emotionally healthy child with a strong relational support network is primed for a happier, more financially stable future: Their better health outcomes save them money on healthcare and their improved learning outcomes lead to better employment opportunities.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Engage Wholeheartedly or Don\u2019t Engage at All<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When you spend time with others\u2014especially in your personal life\u2014Sullivan and Hardy suggest, commit wholeheartedly to doing so.<\/strong> Your spouse won\u2019t appreciate the time you spend together if you\u2019re absent-mindedly thinking about work, and you won\u2019t benefit from it either. That time will be wasted. To give yourself the best chance to deepen your connection, ensure you can be fully present<\/a> and committed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Wholeheartedness is similar to what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls \u201cflow\u201d: a state in which you\u2019re so immersed in an experience that you let go of everything outside of it<\/a>. According to him, flow is an optimal state that allows a degree of engagement and connection that\u2019s otherwise impossible\u2014we\u2019re entirely present, so we don\u2019t miss anything about the moment. What Sullivan\u2019s suggesting is that you give your loved ones this degree of focus.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If someone gives you their all, commit to them.<\/strong> Sullivan and Hardy explain that as you continue investing in people\u2014professionally and personally\u2014you start to see who stands out, elevating your business and life. Give those people your best, the authors say; wholeheartedly support and uplift them. You\u2019ll get their best in return, and build meaningful, mutually impactful relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In addition, Fintech program director Sar Haribhakti suggests that the skills<\/em> you learn from helping others are just as valuable as the connections you make<\/a>. When you take every opportunity you can to make those around you more successful, he says, you end up in situations you\u2019d otherwise never explore. The insights you gain while outside your comfort zone may lead you to new entrepreneurial opportunities or help you break into unexplored fields.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, even if you have the capacity to take them on, Sullivan and Hardy warn, only say \u201cyes\u201d to people or projects you\u2019re wholeheartedly excited to work with and are the right person<\/a> for.<\/strong> Doing so ensures that your time, energy, resources, and attention remain focused in the direction that best suits your purpose<\/a> and goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Many entrepreneurs advocate for following your heart and doing what excites you because that engagement motivates you to drive forward. Billionaire Richard Branson says that the goal of entrepreneurship is to turn what excites you into capital so that you can do more of it<\/a>\u2014if what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t fun, he says, you should probably be doing something else.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How can hiring more personnel help you improve your personal relationships? What two things can you do to improve your mutually beneficial relationships? Mutually beneficial relationships aren’t always focused on romance\u2014it’s important to deepen your connections with others, even at work. In their book Who Not How, Sullivan and Hardy explain that there are two ways of strengthening your personal relationships: by giving generously and by engaging wholeheartedly. Continue reading to learn how personal relationships benefit both parties and how to grow them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":23353,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34,12],"tags":[531],"class_list":["post-53767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-who-not-how","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Foster Mutually Beneficial Relationships - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you want to build personal relationships, you must give generously and engage wholeheartedly. 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