{"id":52899,"date":"2021-11-05T15:01:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-05T19:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52899"},"modified":"2021-11-08T13:07:56","modified_gmt":"2021-11-08T17:07:56","slug":"learning-from-your-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/learning-from-your-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning From Your Mistakes: Ask &#8220;What,&#8221; Not &#8220;Why&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Can you think of a life lesson you learned by making a mistake? Where did you go wrong? Did ever repeat the same mistake again? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning from your mistakes is essential to living a happy, fulfilled, and successful life. Everyone eventually learns from their mistakes once they&#8217;ve repeated them several times. But it shouldn&#8217;t take many repetitions to learn to avoid suboptimal or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-sabotaging-behavior\/\">self-sabotaging behaviors<\/a>. If you consciously <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/examine-your-life\/\">examine your life<\/a> on a consistent basis, you will see patterns quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-learning\/\">The key to learning<\/a> from your mistakes is to think about them rationally, not emotionally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Scrutinize Your Failures<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning from your mistakes is a part of life. However, most people repeat mistakes many times before they internalize their lessons. But it doesn&#8217;t have to be this way. If make a conscious effort to analyze where you went wrong, you won&#8217;t have to repeat the same mistake over and over again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In his book <em>Psycho-Cybernetics<\/em>, author Maxwell Maltz suggests asking yourself logical questions about the <em>facts<\/em> of the situation as a way to force yourself to focus on figuring out the real cause of your mistake and your goals instead of focusing on identifying with the mistake. Further, questioning yourself rationally helps you to immediately seek solutions to the mistake so you can bolster your potential for success in the future. This process will turn every mistake and failure into an opportunity to learn and break your pattern of responding negatively to situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, you failed an exam. You could either mope around and identify with the failure: \u201cI failed my exam (fact), therefore I am a failure (cause).\u201d Or you could just state the fact: \u201cI failed the exam,\u201d and seek the real cause by asking yourself logical questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Why did you fail the exam?<\/li><li>Were you prepared for the exam?<\/li><li>How can you better prepare yourself for the next exam?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ask Yourself &#8220;What&#8221; Instead of &#8220;Why&#8221;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, when you\u2019re feeling emotional, it\u2019s difficult to think rationally about a mistake you\u2019ve made. You may inadvertently ask yourself questions that reinforce your errors and the negative emotions you feel.&nbsp;According to Tasha Eurich, author of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.insight-book.com\/\"><em>Insight<\/em><\/a>, you\u2019re more likely to discover effective solutions to your problems, and train yourself away from identifying with your mistakes, when you ask yourself \u201cwhat\u201d instead of \u201cwhy\u201d questions in response to mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking \u201cwhy\u201d questions about your past mistakes will only lead you to <em>focus on your failures and errors<\/em>. <strong>You may end up engaging emotionally with your mistakes<\/strong> instead of switching your focus to the success you want to achieve.&nbsp;For example, you failed an exam because you didn\u2019t study, you weren\u2019t prepared enough, or you just didn\u2019t know the right answers. In other words, your responses emphasize that you didn\u2019t do enough and your failure is due to an error on your part.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other hand, asking \u201cwhat\u201d questions will allow you to bypass the act of focusing on your errors and lead you directly to the solutions you seek to make. This process will allow you to take a step back from your mistakes and <strong>focus objectively on the solutions that will serve you<\/strong>. For example, asking yourself \u201cwhat do you need to do to pass the exam?\u201d instead of \u201cwhy did you fail the exam?\u201d will lead you directly to the actions you need to take to improve your chances of success in the future.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can you think of a life lesson you learned by making a mistake? Where did you go wrong? Did ever repeat the same mistake again? Learning from your mistakes is essential to living a happy, fulfilled, and successful life. Everyone eventually learns from their mistakes once they&#8217;ve repeated them several times. But it shouldn&#8217;t take many repetitions to learn to avoid suboptimal or self-sabotaging behaviors. If you consciously examine your life on a consistent basis, you will see patterns quickly. The key to learning from your mistakes is to think about them rationally, not emotionally.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":5523,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[526],"class_list":["post-52899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-psycho-cybernetics","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Learning From Your Mistakes: Ask &quot;What,&quot; Not &quot;Why&quot; - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The key to learning from your mistakes is to think about them rationally, not emotionally. 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