{"id":52253,"date":"2021-10-30T11:06:12","date_gmt":"2021-10-30T15:06:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52253"},"modified":"2021-11-03T11:38:36","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T15:38:36","slug":"how-to-make-someone-feel-special","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-someone-feel-special\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make Someone Feel Special on a First Date"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Want to know how to make someone feel special on a date? How should you act on a first date?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people go on a first date with high expectations and hopes of making a deep connection with someone. However, establishing a deep connection with someone will take time. In the beginning, it’s best to let go of expectations and just focus on one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some tips for going on a first date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Making Them Feel Special<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In The Fine Art of Small Talk, <\/em>Debra Fine offers a few tips about how to conduct yourself during the date. First, she recommends, be patient: A lifelong connection won\u2019t be formed in a single date.<\/strong> As before, your goal is to connect, learn about each other, and enjoy the time you share together, not to immediately figure out whether you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: While Fine is correct to suggest that you won\u2019t know if someone is truly \u201cright\u201d for you on the first date, you will eventually need to answer this question. Fine doesn\u2019t explain how to tell if someone\u2019s right for you or not, so here\u2019s what dating coaches and counselors suggest you look for in a partner<\/a>: First, a good partner supports you without trying to change you. They encourage you to pursue your passions<\/a> and dreams, and they treat you the same in public as they do in private. Further, a good partner listens and responds to you\u2014they\u2019re happy when you\u2019re happy, and they comfort you when you\u2019re sad. They don\u2019t dismiss, ignore, or gloss over your emotions. Finally, a good partner fits into your life while still having boundaries\u2014they\u2019re comfortable telling you \u201cno\u201d or letting you know when you\u2019ve hurt their feelings.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the goal of connection in mind, if you want to know how to make someone feel special, let go of your plans and expectations and just focus on your partner.<\/strong> During a date, it\u2019s natural to feel anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable\u2014to worry about how you\u2019re being perceived, whether you\u2019re doing the right things, and so on. But you\u2019re not dating yourself<\/a>: You\u2019re dating them<\/em>. Listen to their stories, dig deeper into what they tell you, and only share your own experiences in moderation. In doing so, you create an opportunity for the other person to feel listened to, attractive, and interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In contrast to Fine\u2019s advice, matchmaking team Kelleher International argues that you can\u2019t focus entirely on your partner forever<\/a>. A relationship requires balance, they explain, so ensure you\u2019re communicating your own needs and desires with your partner. Give them a chance to listen to you, take care of you, and put you<\/em> first, too\u2014you deserve their attention and accommodation as much as they deserve yours.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Want to know how to make someone feel special on a date? How should you act on a first date? Many people go on a first date with high expectations and hopes of making a deep connection with someone. However, establishing a deep connection with someone will take time. In the beginning, it’s best to let go of expectations and just focus on one another. Here are some tips for going on a first date.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52833,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,7,12],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Make Someone Feel Special on a First Date - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want to know how to make someone feel special on a first date? The first step is to focus on them and their stories. 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