{"id":52251,"date":"2021-10-31T11:09:12","date_gmt":"2021-10-31T15:09:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52251"},"modified":"2021-11-03T11:38:26","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T15:38:26","slug":"personal-connections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/personal-connections\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make Personal Connections: Acceptance Is Key"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you struggle to make personal connections with others? What does acceptance have to do with connection?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whether it&#8217;s with a friend or with a date, making connections is important. There are several ways you can go about doing this, but the root of all connections is acceptance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how to make personal connections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Making Connections<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Fine emphasizes that your goal when conversing with a date isn\u2019t just to talk; it\u2019s to connect.<\/strong> As such, don\u2019t plan your next question as your partner is answering your first\u2014listen to them and think about their answer. Follow up by commenting on their response, prompting them to tell you more, or sharing something about yourself that\u2019s connected to what they\u2019ve just said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: This formula builds a personal connection by allowing both parties to seek commonality, explore shared interests, and learn about each other. The ask, listen, explore loop helps you find topics you can both enjoy discussing more deeply.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whenever your date doesn\u2019t give you enough to follow up on, use one of your icebreakers\u2014the questions you prepared by exploring the venue, researching the event, or reading their profile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Acceptance Is the Root of Deep Connection<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>For singles, making a personal connection is even more critical than Fine describes because the lack of it creates loneliness. <strong>Often, loneliness in singles comes from the fact that nobody sees them being truly relaxed and \u201chuman<\/strong>\u201d\u2014their unfiltered \u201cself\u201d isn\u2019t known, accepted, and loved, since they have nobody to share it with. They need to share the unpolished being that wakes up groggy when their alarm rings, and they need it to be as appreciated and valued as their clean, professional, and put-together facade. Here\u2019s how to use conversation to deepen a connection and increase the chances that someone gets to know your true, unfiltered self:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ask deep, personal, or emotional questions unapologetically<\/strong> and answer them openly. Adopt the mindset that <a href=\"https:\/\/thepowermoves.com\/develop-deep-emotional-connection\/\">discussing emotional topics is normal and acceptable<\/a>\u2014bonding over such topics is what creates deeper connections. Be willing to show your partner they\u2019re safe by being the first to be vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Encourage openness by refusing to judge anything about the other person.<\/strong> The primary reason we avoid sharing with others is that <a href=\"https:\/\/theartofcharm.com\/art-of-business\/networking\/how-to-listen-and-build-deeper-connections-with-people\/\">we fear judgment and rejection<\/a>. Many of us are so used to being attacked or put down when we share that we clam up at the slightest hint of disapproval. But when you intentionally judge <em>nothing<\/em>, you give others the safety they need to share who they are at their deepest level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Accept without fixing or dismissing.<\/strong> Understand that people share to connect\u2014not to ask for help or seek opinions. If your partner says, \u201cI don\u2019t travel much because I\u2019m afraid of flying,\u201d she\u2019s not asking you to point out that her fear is irrational or to explain how to get over it. Accept that fear, acknowledge that it\u2019s real, and let her tell you what it\u2019s like to live with it. That\u2019s how you get to know more about her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Relate by sharing emotionally similar experiences<\/strong>. This deepens the connection by showing your partner you understand them\u2014and that you\u2019re willing to join them in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/being-vulnerable\/\">being vulnerable<\/a>. It\u2019s critical to relate to the <em>emotion <\/em>connected to the topic, not its context. In the above example, the correct move is to share an irrational fear of your own\u2014one that makes you feel the way she described feeling herself. The wrong move would be to discuss flying or travel in general.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you struggle to make personal connections with others? What does acceptance have to do with connection? Whether it&#8217;s with a friend or with a date, making connections is important. There are several ways you can go about doing this, but the root of all connections is acceptance. Keep reading to learn how to make personal connections.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52831,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12,24],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","category-society","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Make Personal Connections: Acceptance Is Key - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For singles, making a personal connection is critical because the lack of it creates loneliness. 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