{"id":52235,"date":"2021-11-03T11:23:48","date_gmt":"2021-11-03T15:23:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52235"},"modified":"2021-11-03T11:23:49","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T15:23:49","slug":"end-a-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/end-a-conversation\/","title":{"rendered":"How to End a Conversation Without Burning Bridges"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you ever get stuck in a conversation and don’t know how to end it? Is there a way to politely escape a conversation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether you’re at a business party, an event, or a family reunion, odds are that at some point you’ve been stuck in an awkward conversation. Luckily, you don’t have to fake a phone call to get out of it\u2014just try one of these tips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this article, we\u2019ll explore how to gracefully end a conversation without burning any bridges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Ending a Conversation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, no matter how engaging a conversation is, the time comes to move on. Furthermore, occasionally, a conversation isn\u2019t engaging or enjoyable, and you might want to leave swiftly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you know how to end a conversation and leave a good impression, Fine explains, you\u2019ll feel more comfortable and confident about starting one.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Comfort and preserving your reputation arguably aren\u2019t the only, or even main, reasons to master the graceful exit. Kio Stark\u2014who gave a TED talk on why you should talk to strangers<\/a>\u2014argues that in most cases, the person who <\/strong>started<\/em><\/strong> the conversation is responsible for ending it<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong> When you start talking to someone, Stark explains, they assume you\u2019re doing so for a reason\u2014and politeness dictates they hang around until you\u2019re satisfied. If you can\u2019t or won\u2019t end the conversation yourself, you force your partner to commit a faux-pas by breaking off before it\u2019s clear that you\u2019re done talking.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Make Your Exit<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Before you leave a conversation, Fine urges you to have a clear destination in mind and be honest about it. Make it clear that the reason you need to leave is because there\u2019s something you need to do.<\/strong> For example, if your next goal is to get some food, speak to the event\u2019s host, or make a call, courteously say so. When you\u2019ve disengaged, do what you said you would: If your former conversational partner sees you doing something else, they\u2019ll take it personally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Don\u2019t worry if your reason for leaving isn\u2019t very strong. Research shows that the word \u201cbecause,\u201d followed by a reason\u2014even one that\u2019s not compelling\u2014leads to a much higher likelihood of acceptance<\/a> of a situation. A Harvard psychologist, who had researchers try cutting in line to use the copy machine, discovered people were 34% more likely to allow the intrusion when the researchers said \u201cbecause I need to make copies\u201d than when they didn\u2019t give a reason.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Furthermore, Fine suggests that, when it\u2019s time to leave, you thank your conversational partner for their expertise, their time, or the joy of conversing with them. A genuine compliment or expression of gratitude leaves the other person feeling good about you and gives you an air of confidence and poise.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, you might say: \u201cLydia, it\u2019s been wonderful to talk to you about\u2026 I need to\u2026 Thanks for sharing your expertise,\u201d or \u201cit was so thoughtful of you to introduce me to Clifford. Thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: An additional important benefit of expressing gratitude at the end of a conversation is that it improves the likelihood of your conversational partner opting to stay connected with you long-term<\/a>. Research shows that expressions of gratitude signal warmth, friendliness, and thoughtfulness\u2014all of which contribute to a feeling in the recipient that the burgeoning relationship is worth investing in. For this reason, people you thank are more likely to give you their contact information or extend an invitation to spend time with them in the future.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fine suggests that if you want to see the person again, you say so. Issue an invitation and don\u2019t take it personally if you\u2019re turned down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Fine doesn\u2019t explain how<\/em> to extend an invitation, or when to do it\u2014just that you should mention you\u2019d like to. Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone<\/em><\/a>, gives more specific advice in this area: He suggests following up on an initial contact between 12 and 24 hours later<\/a>. When you do, he says, thank the person for their time or help, remind them of a part of your conversation\u2014a joke they made, or a topic you agreed on\u2014and suggest you meet again. You don\u2019t have to set a time or invite them to anything specific right away\u2014just express that you want<\/em> to meet again, and let them know you\u2019ll be in contact soon to discuss the details.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additional Escape Tools<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you feel it\u2019s time for a conversation to end, chances are, the feeling is mutual. It may just be that you both aren\u2019t sure how to escape. With that said, sometimes you\u2019ll just feel stuck<\/a> with someone who\u2019s content to talk forever. In either case, the graceful exit is a reassuring technique to have in your tool belt.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following are additional exit techniques to take advantage of<\/a>; whichever you use, be sure to express gratitude to end on a strong note:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be direct:<\/strong> The next time there\u2019s a pause in the conversation, smile and put out your hand. Say \u201cwell, it was nice talking to you.\u201d It might be abrupt, but it\u2019s a formula people are used to; the automatic response will likely be \u201cyou too,\u201d and then you\u2019re free to close out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leverage \u201cbecause\u201d:<\/strong> As Fine notes, \u201cbecause\u201d is a powerful tool\u2014but it\u2019s important you do what you say you\u2019ll do. If you really can\u2019t find a reason to leave, try a classic: \u201cIt was nice talking to you, but I need the restroom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Give your partner an excuse to leave:<\/strong> This technique lets you imply you feel you\u2019ve taken enough of the other person\u2019s time; you\u2019re freeing them<\/em>. Try: \u201cI\u2019ll let you get back to the party; it was nice talking to you!\u201d Or: \u201cThanks for the chat; I\u2019ll let you get another drink.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find them a new partner:<\/strong> If you see someone you know, especially a person who might enjoy your partner\u2019s company, pull them into the fold. \u201cHey Steve, we were just talking about\u2026 What\u2019s your opinion on that?\u201d Once they get talking, you can make an excuse to slip away without leaving them all alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exchange social media:<\/strong> Ask your partner if they\u2019re on Facebook, LinkedIn, and so forth; in doing so, you imply you\u2019re interested in looking them up and perhaps connecting again in the future. It softens the blow of leaving and expands your network. In the worst case, you\u2019re not obligated to follow up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you ever get stuck in a conversation and don’t know how to end it? Is there a way to politely escape a conversation? Whether you’re at a business party, an event, or a family reunion, odds are that at some point you’ve been stuck in an awkward conversation. Luckily, you don’t have to fake a phone call to get out of it\u2014just try one of these tips. In this article, we\u2019ll explore how to gracefully end a conversation without burning any bridges.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52824,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34,43],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","category-self-improvement","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to End a Conversation Without Burning Bridges - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Eventually, no matter how engaging a conversation is, the time comes to move on. Here's how to end a conversation politely. 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