{"id":52234,"date":"2021-11-01T11:14:51","date_gmt":"2021-11-01T15:14:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52234"},"modified":"2021-11-03T21:15:59","modified_gmt":"2021-11-04T01:15:59","slug":"questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/","title":{"rendered":"Tips &#038; Questions to Ask to Keep a Conversation Going"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How can you keep a conversation flowing smoothly? What kinds of questions should you ask to keep a conversation going?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two methods you can use to keep a conversation going smoothly: asking open-ended questions about the other person and following up on their answers with additional questions. By avoiding straightforward questions, you give yourself the opportunity to connect more with the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are good questions to ask to keep a conversation going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to <strong>Keep the Conversation Going<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Fine states that once you\u2019ve started the conversation, do your part to keep it flowing smoothly. Let\u2019s explore two methods of prolonging conversation: asking open-ended questions that get people talking about themselves and using context clues to follow up on their answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to Ask Open-Ended Questions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Fine, a conversation flows best when you create opportunities for your partner to share details you can explore more deeply. <strong>Therefore, ask your conversational partner open-ended questions that demand more than a one-word answer.<\/strong> Show interest and encourage them to talk about themselves: The more your partner gives you, Fine says, the more you\u2019ll have to work with later. (Shortform note: You\u2019ll see the value of open-ended questions more clearly in the upcoming section on following up on cues. For now, keep in mind that your goal is always to elicit more than a \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno.\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If your question elicits a one-word answer, ask another open-ended question.<\/strong> For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Person A: \u201cHow was your vacation?\u201d<\/li><li>Person B: \u201cGreat!\u201d<\/li><li>Person A: \u201cI\u2019m glad to hear it! Did you do anything particularly exciting?\u201d<\/li><li>Person B: \u201cWell, my brother and I went water skiing at the lake. We\u2026\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>However, Fine includes a caveat to this recommendation: <strong>Don\u2019t push topics your partner doesn\u2019t seem willing to engage in.<\/strong> You\u2019re not here to interrogate them: Let them decide how much they\u2019re comfortable saying. If they give a short answer and then steer the conversation elsewhere, Fine recommends you respect that and join them in the direction they\u2019ve chosen.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: This principle is crucial because it prevents you from <em>pressuring<\/em> your partner to talk about certain things: Your conversation will go most smoothly if you give them space to control the topic. At this point, the conversation has only just started\u2014and you want it to continue\u2014so leave judgment, criticism, and interrogation behind.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Give Strangers a Chance to Surprise You<\/strong><br><br>The examples of questions to ask to keep a conversation going Fine provides commonly presume some prior knowledge of your conversational partner\u2014for instance, asking a friend how a recent work project went requires prior knowledge of their work plans. <strong>When it comes to strangers, however, we often lack the luxury of prior knowledge\u2014<\/strong>so, how can we ask them strong open-ended questions?&nbsp;<br><br>In such cases, blogger William Rudd suggests asking \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/africantime.medium.com\/why-i-always-start-conversations-with-these-key-words-6ac68c669dab\">what\u2019s your story?<\/a>\u201d instead of the traditional \u201cwhat do you do,\u201d or \u201cwhere are you from?\u201d This question, he explains, gets your partner thinking: <strong>It gives them the opportunity to shape their own narrative<\/strong>\u2014to share what\u2019s important to them, what they value, and what they care about. In most cases, that means you\u2019ll hear about more than just the job they don\u2019t enjoy doing or the hometown they no longer identify with.&nbsp;<br><br><strong>Further, letting others tell you their story prevents you from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/jumping-to-conclusions-psychology\/\">jumping to conclusions<\/a><\/strong> <strong>about them.<\/strong> You may assume, for instance, that Jack the car salesman from Kentucky doesn\u2019t have much to offer you, a CEO from Europe. But if you give Jack a chance to tell his own story, you\u2019re much more likely to be intrigued by him and his life. He may tell you about his wife, his children, and the chicken coop they built together last summer. And, just like that, you\u2019ll have a lot more to ask about.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to Follow Up on Cues With Additional Questions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Another way to keep conversations going is to follow up with additional open-ended questions. This is where Fine\u2019s recommendation that you show interest in your partner\u2019s answers yields fruit: <strong>When you pay attention to their responses, you\u2019ll notice interesting details you can use to deepen the conversation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can choose follow-up questions based on any of the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. Anything they\u2019ve mentioned so far<\/strong>\u2014did anything about their previous answers intrigue or interest you? Did they seem particularly proud of anything they brought up? (Shortform note: In particular, dig into the things people mention that are <em>outside<\/em> of their obligations. For instance, follow up on people\u2019s hobbies, not their job. They\u2019ll enjoy the conversation more if it\u2019s focused on things they <em>want<\/em> to do than things they <em>have<\/em> to do.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Things they\u2019re wearing,<\/strong> particularly those which denote group membership. (Shortform note: Why is this such a useful conversational tool? Because a person who wears a Rotary Club pin or a Seattle Seahawks cap to an event is usually doing so for a reason\u2014they\u2019re signaling a personal interest they like to think or talk about. When talking to younger people, keep an eye out for things like cell phone charms, keyrings, pins on their bag or jacket, or stickers on a water bottle.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. Their achievements, trophies, and ornaments<\/strong>, especially those they display prominently. (Shortform note: This is particularly useful if you\u2019re addressing someone whose achievements were recently announced (for instance, at a conference), but it\u2019s just as helpful when you\u2019re visiting someone\u2019s home or office. People display what brings them happiness and pride\u2014whether that\u2019s a university diploma or a little figurine of a snail.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4. The location or occasion.<\/strong> (Shortform note: When all else fails, you can always ask someone what brings them here, who they know and how they met them, or how they\u2019re feeling about the event.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>5. Their behavior, traits, or quirks<\/strong>. (Shortform note: Fine suggests that the way someone speaks or writes can offer you opportunities for small talk\u2014but be careful; it\u2019s easy to offend someone this way. For example, don\u2019t ask someone who seems to speak with a foreign accent \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/stopasianhate.medium.com\/but-where-are-you-originally-from-9b478d35ca71\">where are you <em>really<\/em> from?<\/a>\u201d Maybe they\u2019re from the city you\u2019re in and only picked up the accent from their parents.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you keep a conversation flowing smoothly? What kinds of questions should you ask to keep a conversation going? There are two methods you can use to keep a conversation going smoothly: asking open-ended questions about the other person and following up on their answers with additional questions. By avoiding straightforward questions, you give yourself the opportunity to connect more with the other person. Here are good questions to ask to keep a conversation going.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34,43],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","category-self-improvement","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tips &amp; Questions to Ask to Keep a Conversation Going - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you keep a conversation going? Here are some examples of the types of questions you could ask to keep a conversation flowing smoothly.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tips &amp; Questions to Ask to Keep a Conversation Going\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How do you keep a conversation going? Here are some examples of the types of questions you could ask to keep a conversation flowing smoothly.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-11-01T15:14:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-11-04T01:15:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/two-girls-talking.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1405\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"796\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"Tips &#038; Questions to Ask to Keep a Conversation Going\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-11-01T15:14:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-11-04T01:15:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/\"},\"wordCount\":1065,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/two-girls-talking.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Fine Art of Small Talk\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Business\",\"Communication\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/\",\"name\":\"Tips & Questions to Ask to Keep a Conversation Going - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/questions-to-ask-to-keep-a-conversation-going\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/two-girls-talking.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-11-01T15:14:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-11-04T01:15:59+00:00\",\"description\":\"How do you keep a conversation going? 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