{"id":52228,"date":"2021-10-26T11:12:28","date_gmt":"2021-10-26T15:12:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52228"},"modified":"2021-11-03T12:57:39","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T16:57:39","slug":"how-to-break-the-ice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-break-the-ice\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Break the Ice With a Stranger: Tips + Openers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you find it awkward to talk to people you don&#8217;t know? How do you start up conversations with coworkers or with a date?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not all of us are blessed with the natural ability to start up a conversation with somebody we barely know. If you&#8217;ve ever been to a business meeting, a party, or even on a date with someone new, you know the feeling. But luckily, you don&#8217;t have to be a natural extrovert to be good at conversations, you just need to know how to break the ice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading for advice on how to break the ice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Breaking the Ice<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowing how to break the ice is the foundation of striking a connection with someone new. According to Fine, it doesn\u2019t matter much <em>what<\/em> you say as an opener; in theory, you could say <em>anything<\/em>. <strong>What matters is that you initiate the conversation and show <em>genuine interest<\/em> in the other person\u2019s answer.<\/strong> Her recommendation, if you\u2019re having trouble, is to open with a statement that uses the context of the situation, event, or venue, and then ask them a related question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re afraid to talk to someone because you fear you\u2019ll have nothing in common, Fine suggests you <strong>keep in mind that humans are more alike than they are different<\/strong>. If you give other people a chance, she says, you\u2019ll find you can connect with almost anyone.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: You may feel doubtful that Fine is correct here; surely, considering the diverse range of cultures and life practices that exist across the world (and even within countries), it\u2019s optimistic to say we can connect with almost <em>anyone<\/em>? However, according to research, Fine is correct: The human experience, broadly speaking, <a href=\"https:\/\/news.ucr.edu\/articles\/2020\/06\/09\/world-much-more-alike-different\">is less diverse than it seems<\/a>. In a study spanning 62 countries around the world, researchers found that our daily experiences <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/jopy.12558\">are largely universal<\/a>. For instance, we all care about our friends, want to love and be loved, and enjoy <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/advantages-of-laughing\/\">laughing<\/a>, companionship, and cooperation.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Easy Ways to Start Talking<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, it\u2019s hard to initiate a chat because you don\u2019t know what to say\u2014and hearing that you can talk about <em>anything<\/em> as an icebreaker, as Fine suggests, may overwhelm you, as it gives you too broad a list of possibilities.&nbsp;<br>Fine does provide a specific list of icebreakers in her book, but most of them are business-focused or come too far out of the blue to be generally applicable\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m excited about our new mayor. How do you think her administration will differ from her predecessor\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.grammarly.com\/blog\/how-to-start-a-conversation\/\">here are some go-to <em>styles<\/em> of opener you can use in most contexts<\/a>, and an example of each:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Commiserate:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ve been waiting in line a long time, haven\u2019t we? What brings you here today?\u201d<br><strong>Notice something pleasant:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m so glad I came out for this concert; wasn\u2019t that guitar solo incredible?\u201d<br><strong>Compliment someone:<\/strong> \u201cI really appreciated your presentation\u2014the way you laid out the details made it easy to follow and understand.\u201d<br><strong>Leverage commonality:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m in marketing, too! How long have you been in the business?\u201d<br><strong>Seek an opinion:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about attending this workshop, would you recommend it?\u201d<br><strong>Ask for easy help:<\/strong> \u201cDo you know when the food is supposed to arrive?\u201d<br><strong>Help someone out:<\/strong> \u201cThat printer looks heavy, can I give you a hand?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you find it awkward to talk to people you don&#8217;t know? How do you start up conversations with coworkers or with a date? Not all of us are blessed with the natural ability to start up a conversation with somebody we barely know. If you&#8217;ve ever been to a business meeting, a party, or even on a date with someone new, you know the feeling. But luckily, you don&#8217;t have to be a natural extrovert to be good at conversations, you just need to know how to break the ice. Keep reading for advice on how to break the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34,12],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Break the Ice With a Stranger: Tips + Openers - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The first step in any conversation is breaking the ice. Here are some tips on how to break the ice with a stranger or a date. 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