{"id":52223,"date":"2021-10-25T10:41:26","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T14:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52223"},"modified":"2021-11-03T21:13:57","modified_gmt":"2021-11-04T01:13:57","slug":"how-to-introduce-yourself-to-someone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-introduce-yourself-to-someone\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Introduce Yourself to Someone New"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How do you introduce yourself to someone you don’t know? Why is learning someone’s name so important?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Debra Fine, small talk expert, provides the following advice for introducing yourself to a stranger: choose a partner who is open to conversation, make eye contact, and learn their name immediately. There are also signals you can look for to tell whether or not the person wants to talk to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s Debra Fine’s advice on how to introduce yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Indroductions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The first step of conversation is making an initial connection with another person. Let\u2019s explore how to choose a partner, introduce yourself to someone, and learn their name. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choose a Partner and Introduce Yourself<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Before you can start a conversation<\/a>, you have to find someone to have that conversation with.<\/em> When choosing someone to talk to, Fine recommends the following two-step process:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Scan the room and find someone who\u2019s on their own<\/strong>, who\u2019s not engaged in a conversation or an activity, and who makes eye contact with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: There are far more signals that someone doesn\u2019t want to talk than Fine lists: Leave people alone if they\u2019re<\/a> wearing headphones, reading, crossing their arms or showing other \u201cclosed\u201d body language<\/a>, or if they turn away from you when you look at them.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. When you make eye contact, smile at the person.<\/strong> Fine explains that this shows the other party you\u2019re interested in them and immediately establishes a rapport. When you smile at someone, their natural response is to smile back; right off the bat, the two of you share a positive feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Fine\u2019s principle assumes that the other person will smile back; but what if they don\u2019t<\/em>? Is trying to connect then a lost cause? Probably: Research indicates that a genuine smile communicates a desire to engage cooperatively and altruistically<\/a>. We can reverse this to imply that someone who doesn\u2019t<\/em> genuinely smile back doesn\u2019t want to cooperate and converse with you.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Introduce Yourself and Learn Their Name<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Once you\u2019ve chosen a conversational partner and established rapport through a smile, walk up to them, Fine suggests, make eye contact, smile again, and shake their hand.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Fine suggests handshaking because, in Western society, it\u2019s the polite thing to do\u2014but you don\u2019t have<\/em> to do it. In fact, many people choose not to for hygiene reasons: Doctors have argued for years that handshaking is unhygienic.<\/a> Furthermore, according to the CDC, 69% of men admit that they don\u2019t always wash their hands after using the bathroom<\/a>, making shaking those hands an unpleasant prospect. If you don\u2019t want to shake hands, the Harvard Business Review recommends you communicate warmth, friendliness, and respect in another way<\/a>, such as by offering a small bow.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say, \u201cHi. My name is\u2026\u201d Then, stay focused as the other person returns the introduction. Remember their name <\/strong>and use it immediately: For instance, say \u201cNice to meet you, Albert!\u201d If you miss a person\u2019s name, Fine recommends asking them to repeat it.<\/strong> Remember that everyone has the right to be called by their name, she notes, and that those with difficult names will appreciate it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: It\u2019s not just people with difficult names who\u2019ll appreciate your efforts: According to Dale Carnegie, everyone <\/em>is thrilled when someone learns and uses their name. Carnegie argues that a person\u2019s name is the most important word in any language to them<\/a>\u2014saying it is a subtle and welcome compliment. In contrast, forgetting a name or getting it wrong suggests you didn\u2019t care enough to get it right. Use a person\u2019s name often, he says, and respect it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relatedly, when you meet someone whose name you\u2019ve forgotten, Fine suggests asking for it right away. Don\u2019t compound the awkwardness by being unable to introduce them in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: A word of caution: People can be especially unforgiving of those who forget their names<\/a>. If you follow Fine\u2019s advice, don\u2019t be surprised if the person whose name you have to ask for is annoyed at you.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Remember Names<\/strong>

Fine makes it clear that remembering someone\u2019s name is a crucial part of conversing successfully, but doesn\u2019t provide many strategies for name memorization. If you find remembering names exceptionally difficult, try the following tricks:

As well as repeating the name immediately, pepper it into the conversation.<\/strong> The more we use a name, the more likely we are to remember it<\/a>. Further, say the name again before you leave; doing so aids retention<\/a>.

Find something unique about the person\u2019s face<\/strong><\/a> and focus on it when you say their name: The more context you can add to your memory of the name, the better. It\u2019s easier to remember the name of \u201cAndy with the big nose\u201d or \u201cRoxanne with the pointy red glasses,\u201d than just \u201cAndy\u201d or \u201cRoxanne.\u201dAsk the person to spell their name to drag out the amount of time you spend focused on it. Find out if it\u2019s \u201cSarah with an H,\u201d or \u201cSara with no H.\u201d

Create a mental image <\/strong>associating their name with a visual<\/strong><\/a>. <\/strong>For example, imagine your new friend Holly standing under a Christmas tree, or put Einstein\u2019s hair on Albert\u2019s head. Memory champions\u2014like Boris Konrad, who used this technique to memorize 195 names and faces in 15 minutes<\/a>\u2014say practice is all it takes to master this skill.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do you introduce yourself to someone you don’t know? Why is learning someone’s name so important? Debra Fine, small talk expert, provides the following advice for introducing yourself to a stranger: choose a partner who is open to conversation, make eye contact, and learn their name immediately. There are also signals you can look for to tell whether or not the person wants to talk to you. Here’s Debra Fine’s advice on how to introduce yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52817,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Introduce Yourself to Someone New - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you introduce yourself to someone you don't know? 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