{"id":52221,"date":"2021-10-29T11:03:24","date_gmt":"2021-10-29T15:03:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=52221"},"modified":"2021-11-03T11:38:46","modified_gmt":"2021-11-03T15:38:46","slug":"purpose-of-small-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/purpose-of-small-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is the Purpose of Small Talk?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why is small talk so important? Are there benefits to mastering small talk?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The need for small talk comes up more than many of us would like\u2014at work, with neighbors, on dates, and even with family members. So, whether you like it or not, you should learn to get better at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-art-of-small-talk\/\">the art of small talk<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this article, we\u2019ll explore the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-importance-of-small-talk\/\">purpose of small talk<\/a> generally and in business relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why Small Talk?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>In <em>The Fine Art of Small Talk<\/em>, Debra Fine explains the purpose of small talk<\/strong> <strong>and teaches you to confidently converse with strangers.<\/strong> She argues that if you\u2019re not comfortable and confident in engaging in conversation, you\u2019ll miss out on all manner of social, professional, and romantic connections. Further, mastering small talk can reduce your anxiety, boost your confidence, foster friendships, and enhance your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/leadership-capabilities\/\">leadership capabilities<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In addition, avoiding small talk isolates you socially and emotionally, which leads to anxiety, fearfulness, and defensiveness. In contrast, making small talk with strangers and acquaintances fosters a sense of community belonging, which <a href=\"https:\/\/thewalrus.ca\/blah-blah-blah-the-lack-of-small-talk-is-breaking-our-brains\/\">helps you feel comfortable and confident in the spaces you visit and inhabit<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fine is a once-inept conversationalist whose anxiety around conferences and industry meetings led her to make a serious effort to improve her conversation skills. In the years since, she\u2019s started her titular business and has been teaching the Fine Art of Small Talk all around America.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Avoiding Small Talk<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Fine, the opportunity for casual conversations crops up many times each day\u2014with neighbors, kids, and coworkers, and at social events, business lunches, and even the local supermarket. When we avoid small talk, she explains, we minimize the number of deep conversations we get to have in these settings. <strong>Furthermore, Fine says, we risk giving the impression that we\u2019re cold, disinterested, or rude.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Fine&#8217;s assertion that avoiding small talk can appear rude may seem a little unfair if you&#8217;re shy: Shy people avoid conversation not because they&#8217;re rude, but because they feel anxious or awkward. They want to connect, but they don&#8217;t know how. Unfortunately, though, others may not realize that shyness fuels this behavior: They might just assume that you&#8217;re rude or aloof. This is why it&#8217;s so important for shy people who want to connect to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.heretohelp.bc.ca\/infosheet\/effective-communication-improving-your-social-skills\">get out of their comfort zones and try to overcome their shyness<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Small Talk in Business<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to the author,<strong> small talk is especially important in business <\/strong>for a number of reasons. First, engaging your customers in small talk shows them they\u2019re doing business with a \u201creal\u201d person rather than a stilted salesperson. Second, if you\u2019re good at small talk, you\u2019ll make others feel included, valued, and comfortable. You\u2019ll establish a rapport, and <strong>customers will prefer doing business with you because they feel you\u2019re warm, caring, and friendly.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Perhaps most importantly, small talk is valuable in dealing with customers because it fast-tracks your relationship to shared amiability. Researchers say small talk <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/out-the-ooze\/202001\/why-small-talk-is-big-deal\">synchronizes the level of intimacy felt by each party and signals friendly intentions<\/a>. In short, it\u2019s a simple way to make others believe you\u2019ll prioritize their comfort, safety, and\u2014particularly critically in a customer relationship\u2014their needs.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Similarly, Fine notes that as a manager, bookending meetings with pleasant small talk allows you to more comfortably broach difficult subjects and end the meeting on a positive note. Your employees will feel much better receiving criticism if, through your small talk, they get the impression you care about <em>them<\/em> as much as you care about their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Fine highlights the importance of managerial small talk in a business setting, but not all small talk is appropriate or helpful in this context. For example, your employees are likely to resent\u2014rather than appreciate\u2014hearing about your luxury vacation or your new expensive car. Indeed, the Harvard Business Review suggests that on a one on one basis, <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2017\/07\/small-talk-is-an-overrated-way-to-build-relationships-with-your-employees\">small talk between managers and employees is best focused on the employee\u2019s career<\/a>\u2014his or her needs, goals, and opportunities.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why is small talk so important? Are there benefits to mastering small talk? The need for small talk comes up more than many of us would like\u2014at work, with neighbors, on dates, and even with family members. So, whether you like it or not, you should learn to get better at the art of small talk. In this article, we\u2019ll explore the purpose of small talk generally and in business relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":52836,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34,12],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-52221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-the-fine-art-of-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Is the Purpose of Small Talk? - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Small talk is used in a variety of situations including work, dates, and at home. What is the purpose of small talk? 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