Humans communicate both verbally and nonverbally, but we tend to focus on words, which often don\u2019t accurately represent our emotions. In fact, at least 65% of our communication is nonverbal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nonverbal communication<\/a> can include signals such as eye contact, gestures, body language<\/a>, facial expressions, and even one\u2019s posture. So, how can you work to ensure that your verbal and nonverbal communications are in sync? How can you accurately read and interpret others? And how has the COVID-19 pandemic made nonverbal communication more difficult?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Continue reading to learn how to improve nonverbal communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Effective nonverbal communication is important in everyday life, it could be the difference between closing a deal<\/a> and deterring a buyer, or between gaining trust in an audience or looking unreliable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are some tips on how to up your nonverbal game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Way of the Wolf<\/em><\/a>, Jordan Belford asserts that all nonverbal communication begins with your appearance. The first thing people notice about you is your appearance, beginning with dress and grooming; you want to come across as professional and therefore credible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \nTITLE: Way of the Wolf Belfort recommends that salespeople (both men and women) wear suits, minimize cologne or perfume, and carry a leather briefcase to convey confidence, care, and quality. For men, he advises that any beard or mustache be close-cropped (unless facial hair is part of the culture) so you don\u2019t come across as careless or sloppy; women should avoid extreme hairstyles or too much jewelry as these are distracting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research shows that people who dress well are more confident<\/a>, feel more powerful, and are more focused. In studies, people who dressed better made fewer mistakes<\/a>, did better at abstract thinking<\/a>, and negotiated better deals than those who dressed casually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Defining professional dress is somewhat subjective and depends on circumstances. People prefer that others\u2019 clothing match their expectations\u2014for example, doctors should wear scrubs, plumbers should wear appropriate uniforms, and business people should wear suits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most important from a selling perspective, people perceive those who dress professionally as leaders and seek support from them more often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you want to appear more confident, here\u2019s some advice from Talk Like TED<\/em><\/a> by Carmine Gallo.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \nTITLE: Talk Like TED Rehearse holding your body in a way that suggests you\u2019re sure of yourself and your opinions.<\/strong> If you fail to appear confident in your convictions, your audience will trust you and your opinions less. After all, why would they believe or agree with what you\u2019re saying if you don\u2019t seem certain of it yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a number of things you can do to exude confidence through body language:<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re not sure which of these confident actions you\u2019re taking already and which you aren\u2019t, video yourself making a speech. <\/strong>Then, watch the video and identify where your problem areas lie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re already feeling confident about your speech or presentation, confident body language<\/a> will likely come naturally. However, if you\u2019re feeling nervous<\/a> or insecure, you may doubt your ability to hold your body in a way that\u2019s contradictory to your emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re in the latter situation, don\u2019t be afraid to \u201cfake it \u2018till you make it.\u201d In other words, keep practicing confident body language no matter how insecure you actually feel. <\/strong>Studies have shown that doing so can actually make you feel more confident. Standing in a confident position increases your levels of testosterone \u2014a hormone which, amongst other functions, increases your confidence\u2014while simultaneously reducing levels of the stress hormone<\/a> cortisol. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Researchers claim the so-called \u201cpower pose\u201d is particularly effective at boosting confidence levels. This involves stretching your arms as wide as possible for two minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As well as ensuring that your body language is confident, you also need to make sure that it\u2019s not too boring. A common mistake that speakers make is staying still and rooted to the same spot for the entirety of their presentation.<\/strong> Such rigidity will make you seem dull and unenthusiastic about your topic. Instead, continually walk around your presentation space or stage, moving from one end to the other. Your constant movement will keep your audience engaged and make you seem more dynamic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As you speak, don\u2019t simply hide your hands in your pockets.<\/strong> Instead, use gestures to add emphasis to what you\u2019re saying.<\/strong> For example, if you\u2019re talking about how much a problem has grown in size, create a small circle with your hands and expand it. If you want to emphasize that you\u2019ve personally experienced this problem, point at yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Using hand gestures has a number of benefits: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip #1: Don\u2019t use gestures <\/strong>too <\/em><\/strong>often. <\/strong>They\u2019ll lose their impact and may become overly distracting. Only use gestures to punctuate crucial points of your presentation\u2014for example, your main argument, or the conclusion of a story you\u2019re telling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip #2: Only use gestures that feel comfortable and natural to you.<\/strong> In particular, don\u2019t try to mimic another person\u2019s gesturing style\u2014for example, that of a politician or famous speaker\u2014if it\u2019s out of your comfort zone. The gestures will seem forced and you\u2019ll seem inauthentic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip 3: Don\u2019t overthink which gestures to use.<\/strong> Settle on those that feel the most natural and appropriate to the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip #4: Keep your gestures within the \u201cpower sphere.\u201d<\/strong> This is the area of the body from the eyes down to the navel. Placing your hands any lower than the navel suggests a lack of confidence and energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re struggling to come up with appropriate hand gestures to use in your speech or presentation, consider applying the \u2018eager nonverbal\u2019 strategy. This is a three-pronged strategy that involves:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research has shown that using the eager nonverbal strategy can persuade others to act in the way you desire. For example, in one study, shoppers were more likely to buy candy from salespeople who implemented this strategy than from those who didn\u2019t. In the case of a presentation, using the eager nonverbal strategy may help you to persuade your audience to adopt your idea or agree with your point of view. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember: As noted in the tips above, you should only implement someone else\u2019s gesturing strategy\u2014including the eager nonverbal strategy\u2014if it feels natural and comfortable for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The COVID-19 pandemic made it difficult for business people to conduct in-person meetings and negotiations<\/a>, with such gatherings largely moving to virtual platforms like Skype, Microsoft Teams, and Zoom. Working with other people without the benefit of face-to-face interaction created a number of pitfalls, including the inability to see the totality of a person\u2019s body language (since they usually just appear as \u201ctalking heads\u2019), difficulty of making direct eye contact, which inhibits trust-building, and a heightened awareness of racial, ethnic, age, and gender differences between ourselves and our counterparts, since video conferencing enables us to simultaneously see ourselves and the other person\u2014something that doesn\u2019t happen with in-person interactions and that may subconsciously force us to lean back on stereotypes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s still not totally clear how the switch to video conferencing will affect social interactions over time, but there\u2019s sure to be an impact on nonverbal communication is used and interpreted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It would be impossible to talk about nonverbal communication without noting that not everybody communicates or interprets communication the same way. In Emotional Intelligence 2.0<\/em><\/a>, Daniel Goleman says that men and women communicate differently in many ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n One researcher found that in the dating phase men are much more likely to participate in the emotionally connected talking that women crave\u2014but as the relationship goes on, men spend less time talking this way and want to connect through activities. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Because men have less capability with registering and interpreting others\u2019 emotional cues, husbands don\u2019t notice their wives\u2019 emotional states until they\u2019re more intense–a woman has to be that much sadder to get her husband to notice, let alone ask what\u2019s making her sad. Women, as the emotional manager of a relationship, can get burnt out not only by trying to manage their male partner\u2019s emotions, but by having to manage their own stronger and more neglected emotions by themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ironically, because men generally have a more shallow understanding of emotions, husbands also generally see their relationships in a rosier hue than their wives\u2014everything from sex to family relationships to finances seem on average better to men than to women. Women generally complain more vocally about their marriage than men, especially in less satisfied couples. This is precisely because they are trying to work out emotional issues and resolve grievances in their role as emotional managers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Words alone tell you just a sliver of what your counterpart is really saying. In Never Split the Difference<\/em><\/a>, Chris Voss urges you to watch for inconsistencies between words, tone, and body language.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\nTITLE: Never Split the Difference Think of someone who\u2019s saying pleasant things like \u201cGood morning\u201d or \u201cHow are you?\u201d but with a blank expression or in a tone devoid of any warmth. This is why telemarketers are told to smile, even when they\u2019re speaking to people on the phone\u2014the customer can \u201chear\u201d the friendly expression on the telemarketer\u2019s face. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Voss writes that you can use labels to further shed light on the incongruence between someone\u2019s words and nonverbal body language. If they\u2019re saying <\/em>all the right things but you doubt their commitment, you can say, \u201cI\u2019m glad you say you agree, but it seems like there was some hesitation there. It\u2019s important that we get this right and that you feel comfortable.\u201d This will make them feel respected, and will make you a trustworthy partner in their eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading people\u2019s nonverbal cues isn\u2019t just a matter of noticing what their bodies and voices are doing. You have to actually feel the same physical cues in yourself to empathize viscerally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning to read people<\/a> involves learning two sub-skills, explored in The Laws of Human Nature<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n We all learned observation as children when we relied on other people to help us survive but couldn\u2019t yet talk. <\/strong>Around age five, however, the skill started to languish because we had gained some independence<\/a> from our parents and could focus on ourselves as a separate entity\u2014we acquired new, attention-needing problems, and didn\u2019t have the mental bandwidth for anyone other than ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are some dos and don\u2019ts of observation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Start small or else you’ll overwhelm yourself. <\/strong>Don\u2019t try to read the whole body at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Focus only on observation.<\/strong> Don\u2019t try to interpret what you notice, and especially don\u2019t try to describe your thoughts in words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. People watch.<\/strong> Go to a public place and observe people. This exercise will allow you to watch people without having to maintain a conversation at the same time. Guess things about people based on what you see, such as their personality or profession.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Be subtle.<\/strong> Use only peripheral glances to spot clues. You\u2019ll make people uncomfortable if you stare at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Encourage people to talk.<\/strong> Mirror them or respond with something that proves you\u2019re listening. The longer they talk, the more they\u2019ll communicate nonverbally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. Establish a baseline.<\/strong> When you\u2019re studying a certain person, watch her interact with a variety of people to figure out her default emotion. Then, pay attention to changes from this baseline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7. Study the cues of a known emotion. <\/strong>When someone is about to do an action that most people feel the same way about (for example, most people get nervous before exams), look at what their bodies and voices are doing and file these cues under things people do when they\u2019re nervous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8. Watch out for mixed signals.<\/strong> A mixed signal is a discrepancy between words and nonverbal cues. Nonverbal communication more strongly reflects negative than positive emotions, so when you see conflicting signals, assume the negative emotion is what the person is actually feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 9. Remember that all behavior is a form of communication.<\/strong> Clothing choices, silences, possessions\u2014all of this communicates something. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 10. Notice your own nonverbal communication.<\/strong> This will make you more likely to notice other people\u2019s cues and the emotions that prompted them. You\u2019ll also improve your control of your own cues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As you practice, you\u2019ll improve at multitasking conversation and observation and you\u2019ll notice more and more cues. You\u2019ll start to physically anticipate and feel other people\u2019s emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are some common observational mistakes to avoid:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Don\u2019t assign cues to emotions universally.<\/strong> Different people may use the same nonverbal cue<\/a> to express different emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Don\u2019t let your biases sneak in. <\/strong>If you like someone, you\u2019ll be inclined to interpret all of their cues as positive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Avoid Othello\u2019s error, <\/strong>which is a type of bias<\/a> in which you correctly match the cue to the emotion, but incorrectly guess the source of the emotion because you\u2019re predisposed to attribute it to something in particular.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Don\u2019t be taken in by display rules.<\/strong> Different cultures have different ideas of what\u2019s socially acceptable, and people\u2019s behavior may stem from these rules. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019re starting to see nonverbal cues, it\u2019s time to figure out what they mean. Here are some cues associated with common emotions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The following cues often indicate that someone likes you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Use this knowledge to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The following cues often indicate dislike:<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s harder to notice the dislike cues than like cues for two reasons:<\/p>\n\n\n\n To compensate for these difficulties, keep in mind the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. People are more likely to show these cues as part of a microexpression,<\/strong> which is an expression that appears for less than a second. These expressions come out either when someone isn\u2019t aware of what they\u2019re feeling, or when they\u2019re trying to quash it but don\u2019t quite manage. (It\u2019s very hard to control the facial muscles.) To notice microexpressions, use your peripheral vision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. People might give one of these cues as part of a mixed-signal. <\/strong>This is because the tension between maintaining a polite exterior but maintaining secret tension is uncomfortable, and the negative part of the mixed-signal allows for the release of tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. People might say something general but direct it at you personally via body language. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. People might indicate their dislike by using words, such as sarcasm, but accompany their speech with positive body language<\/a><\/strong>. If this happens multiple times, you should consider the words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. People might give off a lot of these cues because their baseline is more negative than average. <\/strong>Compare how they are with you to how they act with others\u2014if they don\u2019t treat you any differently, they probably don\u2019t dislike you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Make sure you see signs of hostility multiple times before deciding that someone dislikes you<\/strong>. If you have concerns, you can even try to provoke dislike cues. For example, if you think someone is envious of you, talk about a recent success (without bragging) and look for microexpressions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Use this knowledge to catch hostility early and take any of the following steps to mitigate any danger:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \nTITLE: The Laws Of Human Nature In The Laws of Human Nature, <\/em>Robert Greene also discusses the nonverbal communication of dominance and deception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dominance is almost entirely communicated nonverbally<\/strong> because while human social evolution has resulted in the formation of hierarchy, nobody likes acknowledging this structure or their relative position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The following cues demonstrate confidence and power, or a desire for power. (If someone doesn\u2019t have power yet but displays all the cues, there\u2019s a good chance they\u2019ll get power because the cues attract others.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n People who have power but are scared to lose it exhibit the following cues:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Use this knowledge to: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Humans are inherently gullible because we want to believe that nice-sounding things\u2014such as that all people are good\u2014are true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People purposefully use the following cues to try to distract you from whatever it is they\u2019re really feeling and thinking: <\/p>\n\n\n\n The best deceivers are aware of the above cues and do the opposite by:<\/p>\n\n\n\n To compensate for these difficulties, pay attention to which nonverbal cues accompany specific words and speech because it\u2019s hard to get the timing right<\/a>. <\/strong>For example, someone might shake their fist in anger but do it slightly before or after they would actually be feeling the emotion if it were real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Use your knowledge of deception cues to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019ve learned the ins and outs of nonverbal communication, try to apply what you learned to your daily life, whether that be at work, in your relationships, or in your decision-making<\/a> process. Pay more attention to the body language of others and see if you can interpret their true feelings. Put more effort into controlling your own body language and see if others respond to you differently. Also, check out our website<\/a> for full summaries of the books mentioned in this article such as Talk Like TED, Never Split the Difference, The Laws of Human Nature,<\/em> and hundreds more!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Humans communicate both verbally and nonverbally, but we tend to focus on words, which often don\u2019t accurately represent our emotions. In fact, at least 65% of our communication is nonverbal. Nonverbal communication can include signals such as eye contact, gestures, body language, facial expressions, and even one\u2019s posture. So, how can you work to ensure that your verbal and nonverbal communications are in sync? How can you accurately read and interpret others? And how has the COVID-19 pandemic made nonverbal communication more difficult? Continue reading to learn how to improve nonverbal communication.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":45597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12,43],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-51917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Communicate Nonverbally<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Appearance<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\nAUTHOR: Jordan Belfort
\nTIME: 44
\nREADS: 79.9
\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/way-of-the-wolf-cover.png
\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: way-of-the-wolf-summary-jordan-belfort
\nAMZN_ID: XYZ
\n<\/p>\n\n\n\nConfident Public Speaking<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\nAUTHOR: Carmine Gallo
\nTIME: 29
\nREADS: 105.2
\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/talk-like-ted-cover.png
\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: talk-like-ted-summary-carmine-gallo
\nAMZN_ID: XYZ
\n<\/p>\n\n\n\nFake It \u2018Till You Make It<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t Be Boring<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Hand Gestures<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Four Tips for Using Hand Gestures<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
The \u2018Eager Nonverbal\u2019 Strategy<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
How COVID-19 Complicated Things<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Men vs. Women<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Read Nonverbal Cues<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\r\nAUTHOR: Chris Voss and Tahl Raz
\r\nTIME: 33
\r\nREADS: 61.1
\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/neversplit_cover.jpg
\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: never-split-the-difference-summary-chris-voss
\r\nAMZN_ID: B014DUR7L2
\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\nHow to Read People<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Skill #1: Observation<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Dos<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019ts<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Skill #2: Interpretation<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Like<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Dislike<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
\nAUTHOR: Robert Greene
\nTIME: 103
\nREADS: 233.8
\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/the-laws-of-human-nature-cover.png
\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-laws-of-human-nature-summary-robert-greene
\nAMZN_ID: XYZ
\n<\/p>\n\n\n\nDominance and Deception<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Dominance<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Deception<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Putting It to the Test<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n