Why does defensive behavior in the workplace occur? What are the major types of defensive behaviors?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Defensive behavior in the workplace happens when the perception of being threatened pushes someone to develop habits and mechanisms to protect themselves. Perfectionism, suppression of authenticity, negative vices, and the tendency to avoid difficult situations are all common defensive behaviors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Read on to discover the types of defensive behavior<\/a> in the workplace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Often, leaders try to engineer vulnerability out of their work cultures because they believe that it will make their team members more efficient and less susceptible to emotions. In fact, when organization members aren\u2019t given the opportunity to face their vulnerability and think through their emotions, they allow their ego to take control and become <\/strong>more <\/em><\/strong>susceptible to emotional reactivity. <\/strong>The ego will engender defensive behavior in the workplace in an attempt to protect themselves from being bruised by negative emotions such as embarrassment or shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Leaders and their team members usually resort to one or several of 8 types of defensive behavior in the workplace\u2014in this chapter, we\u2019ll walk through how these behaviors present themselves, how they hold back your team, and how brave leaders take steps to discourage them and solve their sources.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When prevented from engaging with negative emotions, team members may escape their feelings with numbing agents such as drinking, shopping, over-scheduling, gambling, and so on. Besides the obvious risk of addiction, this threatens their mental health because it\u2019s not possible to choose which<\/em> emotions are numbed. Positive emotions are numbed along with the negative. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Leaders can combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace <\/strong>by regularly checking in with their emotional needs and finding healthy outlets for negative emotions, and teaching their team members how to do the same. This can be taught as a simple shift in thinking: rather than, \u201cHow can I make these feelings go away?\u201d have your team members try, \u201cWhat is the source<\/em> of how I\u2019m feeling?\u201d This shift replaces the need for a numbing vice with the choice of an appropriate comfort. For example, a team member might feel angry and indulge in a bottle of wine to cope. But if she were to explore the source of the feelings\u2014she\u2019s feeling irritable at the end of a hard day and needs some calming alone time\u2014she can choose a more comforting outlet like putting on some favorite music and cooking a nutritious meal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n People tend to put off difficult or awkward situations\u2014such as asking for a favor or facing a conflict\u2014because the vulnerability of these situations is uncomfortable. It might feel easier to avoid the discomfort, but in the end, this avoidance is mentally exhausting and a waste of time. After all the time and energy spent, the difficult situation still<\/em> needs to be dealt with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brave leaders combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace<\/strong> by showing their team members how to mentally prepare themselves to directly face vulnerable situations. This simply involves taking a moment to ask yourself: \u201cWhat feelings are driving me to avoidance? What can I control? What do I need to accept is out of my control?\u201d Walking through these questions provides clarity about the situation\u2014the resulting sense of calm, rather than anxiety, makes the situation easier to face. Without this mental preparation, they\u2019ll continue practicing avoidance, but this only leaves them prone to being caught by the situation when they\u2019re emotionally and mentally unprepared for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Team members who feel insecure about their value or place within your organization will often overcompensate to prove their worth. Overcompensation can present as the need to be right, or the pursuit of validation rather than self-improvement. Often, overcompensating team members slow down their colleagues by pushing themselves into projects where they\u2019re not needed or their skillset isn\u2019t helpful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Brave leaders combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace<\/strong> by giving positive feedback to their team members and reminding them of what particular value they bring to the organization. When team members feel secure about their worth, they focus on improving within their unique skill set rather than hustling for everyone\u2019s attention and validation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Team members insecure with their inherent value might attach their self-worth to their productivity. They\u2019re too <\/em>hard-working, never taking a break for anything they deem \u201cunproductive,\u201d such as vacations or hobbies. This over-productivity is often damaging\u2014our brains require downtime in order to learn new things, exercise creativity and innovation, and simply rest. If a team member is never \u201coff,\u201d she\u2019s putting herself at very high risk for depression, anxiety, or burnout. Furthermore, over-productive attitudes are contagious among colleagues and spur everyone to overwork themselves\u2014leaving you with a team of burnt-out, undercreative people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brave leaders combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace by<\/strong> setting healthy boundaries<\/a> among their team members. Start this process by setting boundaries<\/a> for yourself, such as, \u201cI won\u2019t reply to emails on the weekend.\u201d These boundaries should be extended to your team members\u2014if you<\/em> don\u2019t want to receive weekend emails, you shouldn\u2019t be sending them <\/em>weekend emails. Once you\u2019ve demonstrated your commitment to your boundaries, encourage your team members to make their own.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you have team members who brag about exhaustion, or working through their time off, be careful not to reward them\u2014this can be obvious, as with praise for hard work, or subtle, as with engaging with their overproductivity and allowing them to work during their time off. Instead, talk to these team members and emphasize your expectation that they prioritize downtime. Explain why downtime is important to them and the organization as a whole, and help them set healthy boundaries. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In a work culture based on the status quo and \u201cfitting in,\u201d team members might feel that they need to suppress their authentic selves in order to be respected and heard. Naturally, this calls into question the authenticity of their colleagues\u2014who are likely also<\/em> suppressing their authentic selves\u2014and diminishes trust. Furthermore, a lack of diversity in an organization prevents the discovery of the new perspectives and ideas essential to a thriving innovative culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brave leaders combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace <\/strong>by committing themselves to the inclusion of diverse perspectives. <\/strong>You can start by becoming more aware of your privilege and biases. Ask yourself: \u201cDoes everyone on my team look like me? Does everyone have the same background? Is there anyone I overlook in meetings because they\u2019re not the same as everyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This line of questioning can be tough. It\u2019s hard to see what prejudices you might be unconsciously holding, but you need to rely on your commitment to brave leadership<\/a> to acknowledge and work against these blind spots. If you find that there are team members whose perspectives and ideas you favor, spend time recognizing the efforts and value of those you tend to overlook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Team members with no sense of self-worth<\/a> often try to fill the space with power or validation by taking credit for work or ideas that aren\u2019t theirs, comparing themselves to others, and needing to be right all the time. These behaviors inhibit innovation and learning, confidence-building, and the ability to recover from setbacks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Brave leaders combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace <\/strong>by reminding those team members displaying a lack of self-worth of the unique value<\/a> they bring to the organization. If you don\u2019t address the self-worth problem directly, your team member will continue holding themselves\u2014and the organization\u2014back by avoiding any risk of failure and trying to prove that they\u2019re never wrong and better than everyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Team members resort to perfectionism to protect themselves from the embarrassment and shame that come from experiencing failure, being criticized, or not living up to the expectations of others. Perfectionism prevents team members from taking on challenges and risks that foster progress and learning, which are crucial to an innovative culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perfectionism is an ongoing cycle that worsens over time\u2014they try to be perfect, inevitably fail, and conclude that it was because they weren\u2019t perfect enough. As the cycle continues and failures inevitably pile up, the team member takes smaller and smaller risks so that they can achieve perfection every<\/em> time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brave leaders combat this type of defensive behavior in the workplace <\/strong>by having open and honest conversations<\/a> with their teams about the drawbacks of perfectionism, and present the idea of healthy striving<\/em>. Perfectionism is external and focuses on the perceptions of others\u2014it looks like, \u201cWhat will people think of me and my work?\u201d On the contrary, healthy striving is internal and focuses on self-improvement\u2014it looks like, \u201cHow can I be better?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Insecure team members might feel that their value lies in being right all the time. This presents as refusal to admit mistakes, rejection of others\u2019 answers, and making up answers instead of saying, \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d This behavior pulls down everyone who needs to work with the always-right team member, for several reasons. Firstly, they\u2019re likely to cover up their mistakes, which creates distrust and misinformation. Secondly, their \u201cmy<\/em> way is the only<\/em> way\u201d mindset leads to poor, ego-based decision making<\/a>. And thirdly, team members who need to be right are usually in constant conflict with anyone who disagrees with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\nDefensive Behaviors in the Workplace<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Defense 1: Numbing Difficult Feelings<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 2: Avoiding Difficult and Awkward Situations<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 3: Overcompensating to Prove Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 4: Attaching Self-Worth to Productivity<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 5: Suppressing Authenticity to Fit In<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 6: Looking for Self-Worth Externally<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 7: Perfectionism <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Defense 8: Needing to Be Right <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n