What does vulnerability in leadership look like? What are the beliefs stopping leaders from showing vulnerability?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vulnerability in leadership involves the ability to acknowledge the risk and uncertainty of a situation, talk openly about it, and create a safe space for your subordinates to discuss it. Wrong beliefs like \u201cvulnerability means weakness\u201d or \u201cthere must be trust before vulnerability\u201d stop leaders from showing vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Read on to discover how to embrace vulnerability in leadership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Vulnerability is exposure to the risk of failure, to situations with uncertain outcomes, or to the possibility of emotional harm. Embracing vulnerability in leadership is at the base of brave leadership<\/a>:<\/strong> it\u2019s only in meeting vulnerability head-on that you can master your response to the fear and uncertainty<\/a> that come along with it. <\/strong>Before you can embrace vulnerability in leadership, you need to understand what it looks like. There are six widely-held myths about what vulnerability is, and how you should react to it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While vulnerability does <\/em>stem from situations that make you feel afraid, it\u2019s important to understand that vulnerability isn\u2019t <\/em>fear. Rather, it\u2019s recognizing your feelings of fear and knowing that something out of your control may happen, and being brave enough to push on anyway. It\u2019s not weak\u2014walking into, rather than avoiding, tough situations or the potential for failure takes an immense amount of courage.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Life is naturally full of experiences that have uncertain outcomes and expose you to the risk of failure\u2014it\u2019s <\/strong>not possible<\/em><\/strong> to have a work culture void of vulnerability.<\/strong> No matter what measures you take, vulnerability will naturally happen to you and your team members. Choosing not to engage with this vulnerability doesn\u2019t signal bravery or control. Rather, it signals that your work culture is based in hiding from and being driven by emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A work culture that doesn\u2019t \u201cdo\u201d vulnerability reacts to failure with fear and anger, in a way that doesn\u2019t truly represent their values. On the other hand, work cultures that embrace vulnerability in leadership encourage engagement with the emotions of vulnerability, which helps the team react to failure with productive self-awareness that\u2019s aligned with the organization\u2019s values. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Asking for help, sharing ideas, and connecting with others<\/a> can be frightening because you can\u2019t control how your need for help or your ideas are perceived, or you may be rejected. You can avoid this vulnerability only if you never connect with or depend on anyone, but of course, this isn\u2019t a plausible choice in an innovative work culture where collaboration is crucial. Humans are social by nature\u2014we depend on the ability to communicate, work together, and depend on one another in order to thrive. Fearing, and subsequently refusing, this collaborative part of our nature can cause innovative cultures to collapse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some organizations refuse to adopt vulnerability in leadership because they misunderstand the difference between systemic vulnerability <\/em>and relational vulnerability<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Systemic vulnerability is unwelcome\u2014it refers to flaws or instability in your organization\u2019s systems. In this context, it makes sense to mitigate risks and reduce opportunities for uncertainty. On the other hand, <\/em>relational vulnerability <\/em>refers to the vulnerability of people<\/em>: the risk and uncertainty that comes with trying something new, or the possibility of emotional exposure in tough conversations. This is a welcome type of vulnerability that helps team members grow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Some leaders, especially in fields where uncertainty or instability signals failure, find it difficult to invite vulnerability into the workplace, or try to engineer a type of vulnerability that doesn\u2019t involve uncertainty\u2014suggesting an app to guide tough conversations, for example. However, it\u2019s important to practice relational vulnerability, in all its uncertainty and need for courage, to bolster your team members\u2019 growth, learning, and innovation.<\/strong> It\u2019s widely thought that you need to trust someone deeply before you can be vulnerable with them. In reality, vulnerability and trust are a constant exchange\u2014you do <\/em>need to trust someone to be vulnerable with them, but you also need to be vulnerable in order to build trust. It\u2019s important to realize that this exchange doesn\u2019t happen suddenly, with a grand gesture of trustworthiness. Trust-building happens in a long, slow sequence of small moments where it\u2019s clear that people are truly listening to and connecting with you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Every interaction you have with someone is the opportunity for a trust-building moment if you recognize it and respond accordingly.<\/strong> When someone is vulnerable with you, and you choose to turn toward their vulnerability\u2014that is, listen to and support them\u2014you earn their trust and the right to share your<\/em> vulnerability with them. Imagine that you see your colleague is upset after a meeting. You can build trust with her by asking what\u2019s wrong, listening to her, and asking questions to help work through the problem together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n However, it\u2019s just as easy to destroy trust by turning away from the vulnerability someone is offering you\u2014when you choose to ignore or criticize them, you stop the trust-building exchange in its tracks. Imagine that your upset colleague had asked to talk to you about her tough meeting, but you chose to go back to your emails, saying you were too busy<\/a> to listen. It\u2019s not likely she\u2019ll trust you again with a moment of vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Practicing vulnerability as a leader does not mean spilling all your emotions and personal details. Instead, brave leaders practice vulnerability by acknowledging the uncertainty or risk of a situation, talking openly about the emotions tied to it, and creating a space where your team members feel safe discussing it.<\/strong> This might look like, \u201cOur organization is undergoing a lot of changes. It\u2019s normal to be anxious during this time\u2014I\u2019m right there with you. What questions or concerns do you have? How can I support you through this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Asking for input from your team members, thereby building a safe space for discussion, is crucial to encouraging vulnerability among your team. Without fear of backlash<\/a>, they\u2019re more likely to ask questions, propose new ideas, or admit mistakes. Be sure that your team members fully understand what the objectives of this space are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In this process of speaking openly and building a safe space, be careful not to practice <\/strong>fake vulnerability<\/em><\/strong>\u2014this type of vulnerability shows up in two ways: manipulative oversharing and insincerity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Manipulative oversharing happens when a leader expresses too much personal emotion and information.<\/strong> This is usually fueled by selfish underlying intentions<\/em>\u2014self-protective reasons they\u2019re sharing outside the bounds of what\u2019s smart and effective to share\u2014and underlying expectations<\/em>\u2014the desired (but unlikely) outcome, usually sympathy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagine that a shop is going through some tough months, and the staff is concerned about their hours being cut. The shop owner decides to get really<\/em> vulnerable with them, saying, \u201cI\u2019m trying my best and working around the clock but we\u2019re hemorrhaging money, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019ll make rent next month, and I\u2019m losing sleep every night over it. We really need to stick together for support at this time.\u201d The underlying intention of her oversharing is to convince her team that she\u2019s a good person trying her best, and her expectation is that they\u2019ll sympathize with her instead of shaming or judging her. In reality, her oversharing will likely cause her team to stop trusting her, panic, and start looking for new jobs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Manipulative oversharing can be avoided by setting boundaries<\/a><\/em>: while the shop owner\u2019s oversharing is okay with a mentor with whom she\u2019s established a fully-honest relationship, her team should hear, \u201cIt\u2019s been a slow few months and I know it\u2019s causing anxiety. I\u2019m working on a plan to get us through this. I\u2019m happy to hear any input or questions you have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\nMyth #1: Being Vulnerable Means Being Weak<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Myth #2: Vulnerability Isn\u2019t for Me<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Myth #3: I Don\u2019t Need Anyone<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Myth #4: I Can Have Vulnerability Without Uncertainty<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\nMyth #5: Trust Must Happen Before Vulnerability Can<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Myth #6: Vulnerability in Leadership Means Spilling Everything\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n