{"id":51577,"date":"2021-10-16T12:54:11","date_gmt":"2021-10-16T16:54:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=51577"},"modified":"2021-10-21T13:19:48","modified_gmt":"2021-10-21T17:19:48","slug":"dare-to-lead-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dare-to-lead-book\/","title":{"rendered":"Dare to Lead: Book Overview and Key Takeaways"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is Bren\u00e9 Brown’s Dare to Lead<\/em> about? What are the four skills needed for brave leadership<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bren\u00e9 Brown’s Dare to Lead<\/em> is the bible for brave leadership. The book seeks to get leaders to approach fear and uncertainty<\/a> head-on, and to teach their subordinates to do the same. Brave leadership requires four skills and they are; facing vulnerability with courage, practicing your values, trust-building, and failure resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below is a brief overview of the key takeaways. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Dare to Lead<\/em><\/strong>: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Many work cultures are characterized by self-interested and self-protecting behaviors such as unmitigated criticism, avoidance of tough conversations, perfectionism, and the refusal to take risks. These behaviors stifle a work culture\u2019s creativity and learning, and they\u2019re toxic to the potential for innovation. The fear of failure<\/a> and shame in uncertain situations causes team members to keep new ideas to themselves and avoid taking risks, which will hold your organization back in our world that constantly demands more creativity and innovation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Dare to Lead <\/em>book prescribes brave leadership as the antidote to these stifled work cultures. Brave leaders approach fear and uncertainty head-on, and they teach their teams how to do the same. The Dare to Lead <\/em>book explores four courage-building skills that will help you become a brave leader: facing vulnerability, choosing and practicing values, building trust<\/a>, and developing failure resilience. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skill #1: Face Vulnerability<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Vulnerability is exposure to the risk of failure or emotional harm\u2014facing vulnerability<\/em>, the first skill of brave leadership, is meeting this exposure head-on and learning to master your response to the fear and uncertainty that come along with it. According to Brene Brown in the Dare to Lead<\/em> book, mastering your response to vulnerability is vital when building an innovative, creative work culture because it\u2019s impossible<\/em> to have innovation and creation without failure and risk<\/strong>\u2014in these cultures, choosing to avoid your vulnerability will result in defensive, self-interested behaviors catching up with you and holding you back<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why We Avoid Vulnerability<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Many people avoid vulnerability because they don\u2019t quite understand what it really is\u2014it\u2019s important to clear up a few misconceptions about vulnerability before diving into the work of engaging with it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following misconceptions were identified in the Dare to Lead<\/em> book:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Misconception #1: Vulnerability is weakness. <\/strong>People often refuse to acknowledge their vulnerable feelings, thinking doing so is brave. In fact, it signals that they\u2019re not brave enough<\/em> <\/em><\/strong>to engage with their vulnerability. If you\u2019re feeling vulnerable, it\u2019s because you were courageous enough to approach, not avoid, exposure to risk and uncertainty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Misconception #2: You have to trust someone in order to be vulnerable with them. <\/strong>Neither comes before the other: <\/strong>vulnerability and trust happen in a constant exchange of small moments. When someone reaches out to you and you choose to engage with and respond to their vulnerability (instead of ignoring it), you earn their trust and the right to be vulnerable with them in turn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Misconception #3: Vulnerability means full disclosure. <\/strong>You don\u2019t need to spill everything<\/em> to be vulnerable\u2014 the Dare to Lead<\/em> book emphasizes that brave leaders practice vulnerability with boundaries and don\u2019t overshare personal feelings or information with their team. Instead, they talk openly about the emotions surrounding uncertain or risky situations, like a new product launch or large systemic changes<\/a>. Then, they ask for their team members\u2019 questions or concerns, and they take the time to listen and engage\u2014creating a safe space for their team members to sort through their feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Benefits of Facing Vulnerability<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re able to allow and productively engage with vulnerability in your work\u2014and teach your team members the value of doing so\u2014you\u2019ll reap a number of benefits: honesty in tough conversations; fewer defensive behaviors<\/a>; and the ability to understand and overcome feelings of shame. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Benefit #1: Facing Vulnerability Helps You Have Tough Conversations<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Leadership comes with tough conversations that have uncertain outcomes, or demand emotional exposure from either party. Vulnerability allows you to approach these conversations with the courage to be honest and a guiding principle: it\u2019s kind to be clear, and it\u2019s unkind to be unclear<\/strong>. Not saying what you mean in these conversations prevents honest and productive connections\u2014nevertheless, it\u2019s tempting to default to unclear language, because it offers protection in several ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Dare to Lead<\/em> book lists two ways people instinctively avoid vulnerability in tough conversations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Firstly, people often choose to be polite rather than honest, telling themselves this is the nice thing to do\u2014but it\u2019s just a way to avoid vulnerability. Honesty in the conversation might stir up discomfort or negative emotions, so you choose the predictable outcome of a polite half-truth. This behavior is especially damaging in feedback sessions. Polite, dishonest feedback is unfair\u2014the recipient receives no indication that they need to improve, yet they\u2019re held accountable for their lack of improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, people often avoid talking about their true emotions, instead naming \u201ceasy\u201d but inaccurate emotions\u2014this allows them to talk about their feelings without full emotional exposure. This may be easier and more comfortable, but you can\u2019t connect to or solve the root of people\u2019s emotions if you don\u2019t know what they are. In conversations about difficult emotions<\/a>, you need to focus on clarity of language, which helps you best serve and connect with your team members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A great example of pinpointing true emotions is Dede Halfhill of the Air Force. She found that her airmen were frequently complaining about being \u201ctired.\u201d She suggested that what they were truly feeling was loneliness<\/em>, and they realized that this pinpointed their emotions exactly. Knowing this, she was able to better respond to their needs and focus on connection and inclusivity instead of giving leave, which further isolated them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Benefit #2: Facing Vulnerability Discourages Defensive Behaviors<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Some organizations try to remove vulnerability and emotions from their work culture to make team members more efficient and less susceptible to emotion. However, according to Brene Brown in the Dare to Lead <\/em>book,<\/em> this usually has the opposite effect. Refusing to face vulnerability allows your ego<\/a> to react directly to failure or risk, resulting in defensive, ego-protecting behaviors such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n