How can you form a coaching habit? What difference would it make in your leadership?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Coaching Habit<\/em> teaches you how to turn coaching into an informal, effective daily habit by asking team members seven essential questions. Listening instead of speaking for just 10 minutes a day can refresh and revamp your interactions with your team members and ultimately transform the way you and your team work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep reading to learn the fundamental principles of The Coaching Habit<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n A good sports coach can inspire and motivate their players and lead a team to victory. In much the same way, coaches in the workplace can bring out the best in their employees and increase productivity. However, many managers and leaders avoid coaching, thinking that it\u2019s too complicated, too awkward, or too impractical. Others believe they\u2019re already<\/em> coaching when all they\u2019re really doing is giving advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whatever it is that\u2019s keeping you from coaching, there are three reasons why you should put in the time and effort to make it a daily habit: <\/p>\n\n\n\n In short, coaching helps your team members grow and develop while making your work easier, more focused, more meaningful, and more enjoyable\u2014in other words, coaching is imperative to being a good manager. In The Coaching Habit<\/em>, <\/strong>you\u2019ll learn how to turn coaching into an informal, effective daily habit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Coaching Habit<\/em><\/strong> aims to help you get rid of bad coaching habits and replace them with a new coaching habit that you can practice every day: <\/strong>Talk less; listen more<\/em><\/strong>.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Building any habit can be challenging. Simply declaring that you\u2019ll exercise more, that you\u2019ll stop spending and start investing, or that you\u2019ll start coaching isn\u2019t enough to form a new habit<\/a>. Approach it systematically with the following steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can\u2019t get rid of an old habit if you don\u2019t know what it is in the first place, so be clear and specific about the coaching habit you\u2019re trying to change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you have your old coaching habit in mind, figure out what triggers<\/em> it. There are five common types of triggers<\/a>: location, time, emotional state, other people, and the immediately preceding action. <\/strong>Thinking in terms of these five categories may help you determine your triggers\u2014once you realize what they are, you can more consciously stop yourself from engaging with them and performing your bad habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, you may be triggered to make decisions when you feel impatient (emotional state), when you\u2019re trying to get out of the office at the end of the day (time), or whenever you deal with a team member who has a reputation for being indecisive (other people).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just as you\u2019re clear and specific about the old coaching habit you want to change, you need to identify the new coaching habit that you want to form. In this case, you want to form the new habit of asking your team members one of the Coaching Habit questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Evaluate your current behavior and determine \u201ccoaching\u201d habits that you might have. Maybe you jump in too quickly to give advice or try to solve team members\u2019 problems as soon as they knock on your door or send you an email. Replace these old coaching habits with the new habit of listening more by asking one of the seven essential questions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: You should view these seven questions as individual tools rather than as a system\u2014you don\u2019t need to use all<\/em> the questions one after the other. In any coaching situation, choose whichever questions feel most natural, applicable, and useful.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n The goal of coaching is to unlock a person\u2019s potential, and small talk about the weather, sports teams, or weekend plans rarely leads to something that can help your direct reports grow. On the other hand, questions that seem like they come from a coaching manual may be difficult to bring up and may feel too formal and uncomfortable. What you need, then, is a question that hits just the right balance, one that\u2019s casual and non-threatening while being direct and meaningful. The first essential question,<\/strong> \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind?\u201d is informal enough to encourage openness but focused enough to draw out the exciting or worrying things that have been occupying your team members\u2019 thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n When you ask a team member about something that\u2019s been taking up space in his mind, you allow him to bring those thoughts to the surface and release them\u2014therefore ensuring that they don\u2019t get in the way of his work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n First, recognize your bad coaching habit\u2014when someone comes to talk to you, do you get caught in small talk, jump to giving advice right away, or talk about some other work topic that isn\u2019t really the issue? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, determine what usually prompts you to jump into these bad coaching habits. Often, this trigger looks like a team member or colleague popping in to ask if you\u2019ve \u201cgot a minute\u201d or instant messaging you to ask if you\u2019re busy\u2014in other words, when someone approaches you with an issue, you react by doing what feels the most helpful or least awkward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you\u2019re aware of the different ways team members approach you, you can consciously respond by performing the good coaching habit of asking the right question<\/a>: \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind?\u201d <\/strong>Listen intently and understand what the team member is saying and resist steering the conversation towards what you think<\/em> they\u2019re saying and then offering canned advice. It helps to keep in mind that every issue involves one of the \u201c3Ps\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n When your team member tells you what they\u2019re thinking about, look for the \u201cP at the center of the issue: Think about the relationships, behaviors, and technical obstacles involved, and ask your team member which one they\u2019d like to discuss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Team members may leave many things unsaid to maintain diplomacy or to avoid difficult conversations. By asking the second essential question, \u201cAnything else?\u201d you can bring up hidden issues and help team members dig down to continue unearthing solutions and possibilities.<\/strong> It\u2019s a question that encourages deeper thinking and greater participation and shows how the first answer isn\u2019t necessarily the best<\/em> answer. Asking, \u201cAnd what else?\u201d can lead to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Use \u201cAnything else?\u201d in a variety of scenarios: after your conversation starter, when you\u2019re trying to get to the heart of an issue, when you want to keep a conversation moving forward, or any other situation where you feel like there\u2019s more that is waiting to be said. Be curious and give the person your full attention so that your \u201cAnything else?\u201d comes out as genuine, rather than as an automatic follow-up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a manager, you\u2019re trained to be the chief troubleshooter in a fast-paced environment. When someone comes to you with a problem, you might come charging in to put out a fire without stopping to figure out what caused it. This then leads to three problems: <\/p>\n\n\n\n The third essential question, \u201cWhat\u2019s the central challenge for you?\u201d allows you to weed through several issues to find and solve the real<\/em> issue at hand. <\/strong>Since you\u2019re used to the bad coaching habit of fixing things yourself, stopping to ask questions might feel like inaction. However, any insight you uncover by asking the laser beam question will be much more valuable than the wrong solution to the wrong problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Three common situations are great coaching opportunities, but often trigger \u201cfixing mode\u201d if you\u2019re not careful:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every person has wants, but they may not express them due to fear of saying the wrong thing, being rejected, or coming across as demanding. When team members feel afraid to express what they want, the workplace can take on an atmosphere of uncertainty. These underlying negative feelings can make it difficult for team members to perform at their best. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Make a habit of asking the fourth essential question: \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d <\/strong>This question increases the feeling of safety in the workplace<\/a> because it makes team members feel that you\u2019re on their side, that they have some control over their future, that they\u2019re valued, and that they\u2019re in a position to make a decision<\/a>. All these signals encourage team members<\/a> to lower the defenses that may be blocking them from thinking at their best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Asking \u201cWhat do you want?\u201d is especially useful in two situations that can cause friction or uncertainty in the workplace: <\/p>\n\n\n\n When someone comes to you with a question or a problem, you may feel like it\u2019s your duty as a manager to rescue him by finding solutions yourself. It seems like the most efficient way to address a problem, but your good intentions may backfire: Your team members may feel resentful when you step in instead of trusting them to find solutions, and in addition to preventing team members from learning and growing, you\u2019ll needlessly add to your workload.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Replace your old \u201crescuing\u201d habit with the good habit of asking the fifth essential question: \u201cHow can I support you?\u201d <\/strong>This question makes for effective coaching in two ways: <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might be hesitant to ask this question because you\u2019re worried the team member will ask for more help than you\u2019re willing to give. Keep in mind that it\u2019s just a question, not a commitment\u2014asking \u201cHow can I support you?\u201d doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re obligated to say \u201cyes.\u201d <\/strong>You can also say \u201cno,\u201d give a conditional \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno,\u201d or ask for more time to think about it. When considering your response, let your goal of training your team members to find their own<\/em> solutions guide you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many team members tend to take on any extra tasks someone asks of them\u2014such as sitting in on meetings, joining committees, or participating in social activities\u2014even when their schedules are already overflowing. They tend to say \u201cyes\u201d to these tasks, ignoring their overload, for two reasons: they associate being busy with being successful, and it can be hard or awkward to say \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Seeing team members contemplating an opportunity or additional responsibilities should trigger you to ask the sixth essential question: \u201cWhat\u2019s the cost of saying \u2018yes?\u201d<\/strong> After asking, guide them to the best decision in two ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1) Help them reflect on their 3Ps: <\/strong>What projects will they need to give up to take on this new responsibility? Which people will be affected by his decision? What patterns and habits will he need to overcome to accomplish the new task?<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2) Give them the tools to say no:<\/strong> You can help them avoid the difficulty of saying \u201cno\u201d with two methods:<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a manager, it\u2019s part of your job to help your direct reports learn new skills and become better, more successful team<\/a> members. Projects and problems provide many valuable teaching moments, but the lessons from those experiences may not always stick. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The best way to help your team members absorb new information is by asking the last essential question: \u201cWhat insights did you gain?\u201d <\/strong>This question encourages your team members to identify and retain a concrete lesson they learned, as well as making them feel like you care about them. Additionally, knowing what parts of a project or issue taught them the most can clue you in to how to better coach them in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Coaching Habit<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Build a Habit<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
1) Pinpoint Your Old Habit <\/h4>\n\n\n\n
2) Determine Your Triggers<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
3) Specify Your New Habit <\/h4>\n\n\n\n
The <\/em>Coaching Habit Questions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Question 1\u2014The Conversation Starter Question: What\u2019s on Your Mind?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Get the Conversation Rolling <\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Question 2\u2014The Follow-Through Question: Anything Else?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Question 3\u2014The Laser Beam Question: What\u2019s the Central Challenge For You?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Question 4\u2014The Empowerment Question: What Do You Want<\/em>?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Question 5\u2014The Heavy Lifter Question: How Can I Support You?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Question 6\u2014The Commitment Question: What\u2019s the Cost of Saying \u2018Yes\u2019?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Question 7\u2014The Insight Question: What Was Most Useful for You?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n