{"id":50445,"date":"2021-10-01T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-10-02T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=50445"},"modified":"2021-10-06T11:38:33","modified_gmt":"2021-10-06T15:38:33","slug":"empowering-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/empowering-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be an Empowering Coach: Ask This Question"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How can you become an empowering coach? How do you unleash your employees&#8217; potential?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An empowering coach strengthens <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/open-communication-in-the-workplace\/\">workplace communication<\/a> and relationships, creates <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/psychological-safety-in-the-workplace\/\">psychological safety in the workplace<\/a>, and gives employees wings to soar. <em>The Coaching Habit<\/em> recommends one particular question that empowering coaches should ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how to be an empowering coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Question Empowering Coaches Ask<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, you may be working with a team member who seems to have trouble articulating what they\u2019d like to happen in a certain situation\u2014they may not <em>know<\/em>, or they may feel afraid to directly ask.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In these cases, you can use the question that empowering coaches ask: \u201cWhat do you <em>want<\/em>?\u201d This question helps your employees operate at their best, creates a sense of trust, and makes your employees feel valued.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why This Question Is a Good Coaching Habit<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There are three ways that this question strengthens your coaching skills and your relationships with your team members.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1) You Address Psychological Needs<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Marshall Rosenberg, psychologist and author of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/nonviolent-communication\"><em>Nonviolent Communication<\/em><\/a>, there are nine universal needs: affection, creation, recreation, freedom, identity, understanding, participation, protection, and subsistence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most of the time, the <em>wants<\/em> that people express are grounded in one of these needs. When you get someone to talk about what they want, you can use that information to figure out what they actually need\u2014and then provide the most suitable solution possible.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, a team member might say, \u201cI want my title to better reflect what I do within the organization.\u201d She\u2019s probably looking to meet the need for a defined work identity.&nbsp;An empowering coach can bring this to the surface.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2) You Create Psychological Safety<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people don\u2019t express needs or wants directly because they fear saying the wrong thing, being rejected, being misunderstood, or coming across as demanding. When team members feel that they can\u2019t express what they want, the workplace may feel full of uncertainty or underlying tension. This lack of \u201csafety\u201d significantly reduces team members\u2019 ability to think optimally.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When you ask, \u201cWhat do you <em>want<\/em>?\u201d you increase the feeling of psychological <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/supportive-work-environment\/\">safety in the workplace<\/a>.<\/strong> The question sends a powerful message that makes the team member feel like you\u2019re on his side, that he has some <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/an-internal-locus-of-control\/\">sense of control<\/a> over his future, that he is valued, and that he is in a position to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/be-decisive\/\">make a decision<\/a>. All these signals encourage him to let his defenses down and allow his brain to relax and operate at its best.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3) You Improve Communication<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking \u201cWhat do you <em>want<\/em>?\u201d also makes the path forward more concrete. Expressed wants focus on <em>outcomes<\/em> and therefore prevent you from getting bogged down in the details of how to get there.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Make It a Habit&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Unless you\u2019re a mind reader, you shouldn\u2019t assume to know what another person wants; neither should you assume that they know what <em>you<\/em> want if you haven\u2019t expressly told them. Asking, \u201cWhat do you <em>want<\/em>?\u201d instead of making assumptions is especially useful in response to the following triggers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Trigger 1: The Conversation Seems to Be Losing Steam&nbsp;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes a discussion seems to be going around in circles. If you\u2019ve cycled through one solution after another, but nothing feels right, it may be a sign that the other person doesn\u2019t feel safe enough to articulate what he wants. Directly asking, \u201cWhat do you <em>want<\/em>?\u201d expresses that he can freely share his desired outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Trigger 2: Conflict<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes you and another person might reach an impasse, whether it\u2019s with a colleague, a boss, or a client. When neither of you wants to budge and you can\u2019t come to an agreement, make sure you truly understand what the other person is asking for by asking, \u201cWhat do you <em>want<\/em>?\u201d Then, clarify your position by telling him what you want as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In your next session, ask the question that empowering coaches ask, and see where it takes the conversation and the relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you become an empowering coach? How do you unleash your employees&#8217; potential? An empowering coach strengthens workplace communication and relationships, creates psychological safety in the workplace, and gives employees wings to soar. The Coaching Habit recommends one particular question that empowering coaches should ask. Keep reading to learn how to be an empowering coach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":50451,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,14,43],"tags":[507],"class_list":["post-50445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-management","category-self-improvement","tag-the-coaching-habit","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Be an Empowering Coach: Ask This Question - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you aim to be an empowering coach? 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