{"id":50427,"date":"2021-09-23T22:26:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-24T02:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=50427"},"modified":"2021-10-05T09:57:57","modified_gmt":"2021-10-05T13:57:57","slug":"coaching-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Kickstart a Great Coaching Conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How should a coaching conversation begin? How can you start a session on the right foot?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>The Coaching Habit<\/em> by Michael Stanier discusses seven questions that all coaches should ask. The first question sets the stage for the coaching conversation, so it is crucial. It fits well with the book&#8217;s underlying principle to say less and ask more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how to kickstart an effective coaching conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Coaching Conversation Starter Question<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>For some managers, the spirit may be willing but the conversation skills may be weak. You may have all the best intentions to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-your-team\/\">coach your team<\/a> members, but you just can\u2019t seem to find a way to start a coaching conversation without any awkwardness. So, you fall back on small talk, mere troubleshooting, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/weekly-meetings\/\">weekly meetings<\/a> with the same old agenda, leading to meandering, time-consuming, and unproductive coaching conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Questions about the weather, sports teams, or weekend plans rarely lead to something that can help your direct reports grow. However, questions that seem like they come from a coaching manual may feel too formal or uncomfortable to address.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What you need, then, is a question that hits just the right balance, one that\u2019s casual and non-threatening while being direct and meaningful. <strong>The first essential question,<\/strong> <strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind?\u201d is informal enough to encourage openness but focused enough to draw out the exciting or worrying things that have been occupying your team members\u2019 thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why This Question Is a Good Coaching Habit<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking, \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind?\u201d not only starts a productive coaching conversation and session but also helps relieve cluttered thoughts.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Science has shown that even holding a thought in the back of your mind uses a decent amount of your brain power and can influence your work, for better or for worse.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, if you\u2019re mulling over a friend\u2019s recent betrayal, you may approach vendors with an attitude of distrust\u2014this may result in missing out on deals you\u2019d usually be able to close.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>When you ask a team member about something that\u2019s been taking up space in his mind, you allow him to bring those thoughts to the surface and release them\u2014therefore helping him let go of subconscious influences on his work.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Make It A Habit<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>First, recognize your bad habit\u2014when someone comes to talk to you, do you get caught in small talk, jump to giving advice right away, or talk about some other work topic that isn\u2019t really the issue? All these habits prevent the other person from effectively releasing their cluttered thoughts.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then, determine what usually prompts you to jump into these bad habits. Often, this trigger looks like a team member or colleague popping in to ask if you\u2019ve \u201cgot a minute\u201d or instant messaging you to ask if you\u2019re busy\u2014in other words, when someone approaches you with an issue, you react by doing what feels the most helpful or least awkward.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Once you\u2019re aware of the different ways team members approach you, you can consciously respond by performing the good habit of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-ask-the-right-questions\/\">asking the right question<\/a>: \u201cWhat\u2019s on your mind?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make sure you <em>really <\/em>understand what they\u2019re saying, instead of steering the coaching conversation towards what you <em>think<\/em> they\u2019re saying. It helps to keep in mind that every issue involves one of the \u201c3Ps\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>People:<\/strong> Relationships that may be causing friction or tension<\/li><li><strong>Patterns:<\/strong> Repeated behaviors that may be detrimental to a person\u2019s growth. Talking about patterns leads to coaching that focuses on <em>development<\/em> and helping your team members reach their potential.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Projects: <\/strong>Obstacles like technical challenges and other hindrances that keep a team member from completing a task\u2014often, this is all you\u2019ll need to talk about because it\u2019s what people are most focused on in their day-to-day work.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>When your team member tells you what they\u2019re thinking about, look for the \u201cP at the center of the issue: Think about the relationships, behaviors, and technical obstacles involved, and ask your team member which one they\u2019d like to discuss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How should a coaching conversation begin? How can you start a session on the right foot? The Coaching Habit by Michael Stanier discusses seven questions that all coaches should ask. The first question sets the stage for the coaching conversation, so it is crucial. It fits well with the book&#8217;s underlying principle to say less and ask more. Keep reading to learn how to kickstart an effective coaching conversation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":50430,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,14,30],"tags":[507],"class_list":["post-50427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-management","category-work","tag-the-coaching-habit","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Kickstart a Great Coaching Conversation - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How can you set the stage for a great coaching session? Here&#039;s the coaching conversation starter question you should use every time.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Kickstart a Great Coaching Conversation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How can you set the stage for a great coaching session? Here&#039;s the coaching conversation starter question you should use every time.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-09-24T02:26:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-05T13:57:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/coaching-conversation.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"750\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"373\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elizabeth Whitworth\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elizabeth Whitworth\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Elizabeth Whitworth\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/d2928cf6c11a69ced1491d6a5b74fb13\"},\"headline\":\"How to Kickstart a Great Coaching Conversation\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-24T02:26:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-05T13:57:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/\"},\"wordCount\":707,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/coaching-conversation.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Coaching Habit\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Management\",\"Work\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/\",\"name\":\"How to Kickstart a Great Coaching Conversation - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/coaching-conversation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/coaching-conversation.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-24T02:26:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-05T13:57:57+00:00\",\"description\":\"How can you set the stage for a great coaching session? 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