{"id":50181,"date":"2021-10-04T05:22:00","date_gmt":"2021-10-04T09:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=50181"},"modified":"2021-10-04T13:46:26","modified_gmt":"2021-10-04T17:46:26","slug":"male-friendships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/male-friendships\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Male Friendships Are So Important for Men"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why are male friendships so important? Why do men sometimes struggle to form friendships? What are some great tips that can help?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone needs friends\u2014in fact, research has shown that friendships (or a lack of them) affect our physical and mental well-being. For men, building friendships can be difficult, which can lead to loneliness, mental health problems, and an unfair dependence<\/a> on romantic partners. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading for the ultimate guide to male friendships, including why they’re important, why men struggle to form them, and some tips for men who are struggling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

A Guide to Male Friendships<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Friendships are important, whether you\u2019re a man or not. One study found that our close relationships<\/a> with friends have a bigger impact on our lifespan than the strength of our familial relationships: Participants with the most friends were discovered to live 22% longer than those participants with the least amount of friends<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if friendships are an integral part of a satisfying life, why do adult men struggle to form them (specifically with other men)? There are a few reasons:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Men bond around experiences.<\/strong> While women tend to bond by discussing their lives and emotions, men relate to each other via shared activities (like sports or camping). One study found about 40% of male participants compartmentalized<\/em> their friendships<\/a>: Female friends were said to be intimate confidants, while male friends were there for engaging in decidedly male activities with. As men grow up, finding the time, space, and energy for these kinds of shared activities becomes increasingly difficult.<\/li>
  2. Men are more likely to prioritize their marriage and career over friendships.<\/strong> In their book The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-first Century<\/em><\/a>, Drs. Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Schwartz recall their 1980s study that examined social isolation<\/a> in America. They found that even more than women, men (regrettably) put their friendships on the backburner to focus on their career, marriage, and family. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    3. Men\u2019s brains might not be wired to excel at interpersonal communication. <\/strong>In 2014, neuroscientists conducted the largest study on sex differences in our neural pathways. These researchers found women\u2019s neural pathways appeared to work left to right\u2014or between hemispheres\u2014whereas men\u2019s brains were structured to work front to back within one hemisphere.<\/a> Women\u2019s inter<\/em>hemispheric communication allows them to easily connect the analytical and the intuitive, making them better equipped for interpersonal communication. Men\u2019s intra<\/em>hemispheric communication connects perception with coordinated action, making them better equipped for learning and performing tasks that require coordination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Male Social Dependence and Female Burnout<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    When a man has no friends of his own, he becomes dependent on his partner for 100% of his emotional and social needs. But friends help meet these needs<\/strong>. Glover noticed Nice Guys are less likely to smother, resent, or manipulate their partners when they can turn to friends for additional support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The burnout women experience when they\u2019re expected to be their boyfriend or husband\u2019s partner, best friend, cheerleader, secretary, therapist, and more has prompted much discussion about women\u2019s unpaid, emotional labor. When journalist Melanie Hamlett interviewed women about their experiences, she found younger women more likely to tie their self-image to being their husband\u2019s everything<\/em><\/a>. However, once women grow older, busier, and more frustrated, they seem to be less willing to put themselves aside for their man\u2019s sake\u2014usually to his<\/em> detriment. Even if it appears your partner \u201cdoesn\u2019t mind\u201d providing this care, she may be struggling with her own self-worth. Having individual lives and friendships outside your relationship will only strengthen it in the long run and ensure neither of you suffer burnout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How to Build Male Friendships<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    When men develop close male friendships, they reap the rewards and support of community. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How do you build male friendships? The easiest way is to make plans and hang out! You and the guys can do anything you want, such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n