{"id":48801,"date":"2021-09-13T15:59:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-13T19:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=48801"},"modified":"2021-09-14T11:15:28","modified_gmt":"2021-09-14T15:15:28","slug":"need-for-approval","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/need-for-approval\/","title":{"rendered":"Tame Your Need for Approval: Stop People-Pleasing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Is your need for approval in overdrive? Are you a people-pleaser?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your need for approval gets in the way of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/building-healthy-relationships\/\">healthy relationships<\/a> and being your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-your-true-self\/\">true self<\/a>, it&#8217;s time to break free from that trap. Pastor Rick Warren explains how people-pleasing causes harm, and he shares three truths you should keep in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more to learn how the need for approval does damage\u2014and how to stop people-pleasing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Taming the Need for Approval<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Approval-seeking can easily make you lose sight of what\u2019s truly important in your life. We\u2019re made to cherish our relationships, so it makes sense to want to feel accepted, valued, and loved. These feelings are important because they\u2019re what strengthen your bonds with others and gain the power and confidence to be <em>you<\/em> and fulfill your purposes.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, the need for approval can easily go too far and become <em>approval-seeking<\/em>\u2014that is, you need the approval and acceptance of others to be happy, and you fear the possibility of rejection or disapproval. This need for approval can drive you to turn away from trying new things, taking risks, or doing the right thing\u2014it stands directly in the path of the work necessary to fulfill your purposes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Approval-Seeking Hurts You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Being driven by the need for approval damages your life in several ways:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>All of your work is done for the sake of being liked or receiving recognition\u2014it\u2019s not genuine, and it\u2019s not for God. You\u2019re not fulfilling your purposes, but rather fulfilling your own needs above all else.&nbsp;<\/li><li>You shy away from taking risks in faith\u2014you don\u2019t work on deepening your understanding of God\u2019s Word or spreading his message because you fear what your friends or family might think of it.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Like envy, approval-seeking is a gateway to other sins\u2014if the choice to lie or cheat will guarantee that someone likes you, you\u2019ll do it.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Your principles and convictions become weak because you change them constantly to fit the people around you. There\u2019s no <em>true<\/em> you.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Stop People-Pleasing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The need for approval is Satan\u2019s way to ensure that God\u2019s message to the world is stifled as much as possible. <\/strong>Stay away from this trap by continually reminding yourself of three important truths:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Nobody\u2014not even God\u2014can please everyone. It\u2019s a fruitless goal, and not worth your time.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Approval isn\u2019t a vital element to happiness\u2014you can only be hurt by someone\u2019s disapproval if you <em>allow<\/em> yourself to be. Remind yourself that your happiness comes from your own choice to be happy with your life.<\/li><li>This life is temporary. While the approval of others may <em>feel<\/em> important or necessary now, keep an eternal perspective\u2014the only approval that matters is God\u2019s, and he\u2019s the only one you\u2019ll have to explain your choices to. When you realize how unimportant everyone else&#8217;s opinions are, they lose their power.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>When you stop people-pleasing, you&#8217;ll have a chance to be the real you and fully live out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/gods-purpose-for-your-life\/\">God&#8217;s purpose for you<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is your need for approval in overdrive? Are you a people-pleaser? If your need for approval gets in the way of healthy relationships and being your true self, it&#8217;s time to break free from that trap. Pastor Rick Warren explains how people-pleasing causes harm, and he shares three truths you should keep in mind. Read more to learn how the need for approval does damage\u2014and how to stop people-pleasing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":48811,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12,43],"tags":[488],"class_list":["post-48801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-the-purpose-driven-life","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tame Your Need for Approval: Stop People-Pleasing - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is your need for approval in overdrive? 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