{"id":48631,"date":"2021-08-31T06:03:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-31T10:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=48631"},"modified":"2021-09-13T09:37:27","modified_gmt":"2021-09-13T13:37:27","slug":"the-confidence-code-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Confidence Code: Quotes by Kay and Shipman"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you looking for The Confidence Code<\/em> quotes by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman? What are some of the most noteworthy passages worth revisiting?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In their book The Confidence Code<\/em>, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. You\u2019ll learn what confidence is, why it\u2019s important, and how women seem predisposed to have less of it than men. You\u2019ll learn where confidence comes from and how to build it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below is a selection of The Confidence Code<\/em> quotes by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance\u2014What Women Should Know<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In The Confidence Code<\/em>, journalists and authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman examine the art and science of confidence\u2014what it is, why it matters, why women have more trouble accessing it than men, and how this shortage affects professional success, personal achievement, and even happiness. They contend that biology plays a role, but so do systemic inequalities. By and large, however, confidence is a personal choice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following The Confidence Code <\/em>quotes highlight some of the key ideas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThink Less. Take Action. Be Authentic<\/a>.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This quote encapsulates the three elements of the confidence code: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Don\u2019t overthink.<\/li>
  2. Act.<\/li>
  3. Be authentic.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    You can practice adhering to the code using the following techniques:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #1: Fail fast.<\/strong> Failing fast is a business strategy that involves trying lots of ideas, expecting <\/em>that most of them will fail. This is useful as a confidence-building strategy because it inherently involves the same cycle of repeated attempts, failure, and risk-taking necessary for building confidence. Additionally, it combats perfectionism and inhibits overthinking because the cycles are so fast there\u2019s simply not time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #2: Act, even when you\u2019re uncertain.<\/strong> If you stay inactive in your comfort zone, you won\u2019t improve or gain confidence. If you act, the worst thing that will happen is that you fail. You don\u2019t have to take massive action\u2014it\u2019s fine to start this strategy with baby steps. For example, if you\u2019re not confident about attending parties solo, first, go to a small event where you know people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #3: Think differently using thought exercises.<\/strong> For example, to control ruminating, whenever you find yourself doing it, think of three things you\u2019ve done well that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #4: Change your focus. <\/strong>Women tend to be more confident when they focus on others instead of themselves. Therefore, you can spur yourself to act by thinking about how taking action will benefit others. For example, if you\u2019re nervous about public speaking<\/a>, tell yourself you\u2019re speaking on behalf of people or a group you care about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #5: Take credit.<\/strong> When you achieve something, don\u2019t downplay it, attribute it to luck, or be self-deprecating. You deserve your achievements, so take credit for them. If you have trouble taking a compliment, say thank you and tell the person you appreciate them saying it. In moments when you lack confidence, remember these achievements\u2014you\u2019ll become more confident when you remember there\u2019s proof you\u2019ve been successful in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #6: Don\u2019t take things personally<\/a>. <\/strong>When someone criticizes you at work, remember that this criticism is directed at your work<\/em>, not you. Also, recognize that women face some obstacles men don\u2019t and this makes things harder for us. We\u2019re not incompetent or less capable; our lives are harder and we don\u2019t have access to the same resources. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #7: Become more comfortable speaking up. <\/strong>You can improve your confidence and speaking abilities by using whatever speaking style is most comfortable, focusing on others<\/a>, and avoiding upspeak (when the pitch of your voice rises at the end of a sentence, making it sound like you\u2019re asking a question and are uncertain).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #8: Do things differently if necessary. <\/strong>You don\u2019t need to copy men or other people to be confident. If you have a new, more effective way of doing something, pursue it, even if you face criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Technique #9: Don\u2019t rely on external sources of confidence.<\/strong> There\u2019s nothing wrong with comparing yourself to others<\/a> and enjoying external validation<\/a>, but it\u2019s dangerous to rely <\/em>on this as a source of confidence. You\u2019re less likely to act if you fear the action will make people stop praising you, and you\u2019ll be crushed when you don\u2019t get enough praise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cWe believe that we should wait until we are absolutely sure that we are ready for something before we ask for it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    Here, the authors are discussing perfectionism and its effect on confidence, specifically women’s. Perfectionism is one of the biggest of the self-imposed roadblocks\u2014perfection is unattainable, so if that\u2019s the standard you must meet to be confident, you\u2019ll always feel inadequate and won\u2019t take action. Additionally, perfectionism doesn\u2019t just get in the way of confidence, it gets in the way of achievement\u2014you won\u2019t start work unless you feel perfectly ready to take it on, and you won\u2019t finish it either. For example, a Hewlett-Packard study found that men applied for promotions when they met 60% of the requirements, but women only applied when they met 100%. As women weren\u2019t even applying for certain jobs, they had no chance of getting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cSimply put, a woman\u2019s brain is not her friend when it comes to confidence. We think too much and we think about the wrong things. Thinking harder and harder and harder won\u2019t solve our issues, though, it won\u2019t make us more confident, and it most certainly freezes decision making<\/a>, not to mention action. Remember, the female brain works differently from the male brain; we really do have more going on, we are more keenly aware of everything happening around us, and that all becomes part of our cognitive stew. Ruminating drains the confidence from us. Those negative thoughts, and nightmare scenarios masquerading as problem solving, spin on an endless loop. We render ourselves unable to be in the moment or to trust our instincts because we are captive to those distracting, destructive thoughts, which gradually squeeze all the spontaneity out of life and work. We have got to stop ruminating.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    Men and women have physiological differences in their brains, think in different ways, and have different amounts of relevant hormones. Some of these differences may explain the confidence gap<\/a> between genders. Specifically, men and women’s brains differ in the following ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n