{"id":48624,"date":"2021-09-01T06:03:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-01T10:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=48624"},"modified":"2021-09-13T09:37:26","modified_gmt":"2021-09-13T13:37:26","slug":"the-confidence-code-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/","title":{"rendered":"The Confidence Code: Book Overview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is <em>The Confidence Code <\/em>about? Why do girls tend to grow up less confident than boys?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In their book <em>The Confidence Code, <\/em>journalists and authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman examine confidence\u2014what it is, why it\u2019s important, and why women seem predisposed to have less of it than men. While the book focuses on confidence in women, much of the confidence-building advice applies to men too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Below is a brief overview of the key takeaways from <em><em>The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance\u2014What Women Should Know<\/em> <\/em>by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What Is Confidence?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Confidence is believing so strongly that you can do something that you\u2019re driven to actually <em>do<\/em> it. <\/strong>In their book <em>The Confidence Code, <\/em>Katty Kay and Claire Shipman argue that confidence stems from mastery\u2014you know you can do something because you\u2019ve worked hard and pushed through past difficulties and failures.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, when Katty learned to kiteboard, it was challenging. The kite would drag her around, she\u2019d fall, she\u2019d get frustrated, and she\u2019d get sore. After a few years of practice, she figured out how the sport worked, and now she can do it confidently.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Confidence is contagious\u2014once you\u2019ve mastered something, this gives you the confidence that you can master (or at least try) something else.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why Confidence Matters<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Confidence is important for three reasons:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. If you don\u2019t have it, you won\u2019t act, even if you have the desire and skills to do so.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, Jessica Grounds cofounded the organization Running Start, which teaches young women to run for office, because many smart, competent college-aged women who wanted to change the world were qualified but not confident enough to run.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. It\u2019s more important than competence <\/strong>(provided the gap between competence and confidence is small). Humans admire and respect people who display confidence, and when people genuinely believe they\u2019re good at something (even if they\u2019re objectively not) they naturally give off <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/nonverbal-cues\/\">nonverbal cues<\/a> and behave in ways that make them seem confident. Keeping your head down and working hard isn\u2019t as visible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, in 2009, psychologist Cameron Anderson gave a group of students a list of historical events and names, some of which weren\u2019t real. Anderson asked the students to check off the names and events they knew of. The students who picked the most fakes were the most overconfident but also the most influential and respected.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Interestingly, many confident-but-not-extremely-competent people never run into problems. <\/strong>Others don\u2019t think they\u2019re narcissistic because they\u2019re not faking their confidence; they genuinely believe they\u2019re as good as they think they are.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. It contributes to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-health-and-well-being\/\">emotional well-being<\/a>. <\/strong>Being confident offers more rewards than professional or personal success. Confidence contributes to making you feel engaged, rewarded, accepted, fulfilled, and purposeful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Women Are Less Confident Than Men<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Researchers have found evidence that<strong> women have less confidence than men, and women tend to underestimate their abilities. <\/strong>Men tend to overestimate their abilities:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Example #1: Columbia Business School found that on average, men think their performance is almost a third better than it actually is.<\/li><li>Example #2: Marilyn Davidson of Manchester Business School found that her male students both expect and think they deserve higher salaries (on average $80,000) than what the women expect and think they deserve (on average $64,000).&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Biological and Environmental Factors Affect Confidence<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Confidence comes from biological factors (genetics, brain biology, and hormones) as well as environmental factors (upbringing, societal expectations, and so on).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Confidence and Genetics<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Scientists estimate that 25-50% of our confidence comes from our genes. <\/strong>Four notable genes affect confidence and their variants are evenly distributed between genders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Gene #1: The serotonin transporter (SLC6A4).<\/strong> This gene regulates serotonin levels in the body. Serotonin calms the amygdala, the two primitive parts of the brain responsible for fear and strong, often negative emotions that further survival. Serotonin also de-stresses the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for, among other things, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-rational-thought\/\">rational thought<\/a>). A calmer prefrontal cortex makes you feel happier, less anxious, and more confident in your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/methods-of-decision-making-crucial-conversations\/\">decision-making<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>SLC6A4 comes in three variants that process serotonin: well, inefficiently, and poorly, respectively. People with the quick-processing variants are resilient, which helps them be confident, and people with the slow-processing one are at a higher risk of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/low-mood-and-anxiety\/\">anxiety and depression<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Gene #2: OXTR. <\/strong>This gene controls oxytocin levels. Oxytocin, like serotonin, aids the prefrontal cortex processes and calms the amygdala. Additionally, it encourages <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-have-a-positive-mindset\/\">positive thoughts<\/a> about others, which increases optimism. Optimism supports confidence because it\u2019s easier to take risks if you believe things will turn out all right.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like SLC6A4, <strong>this gene also has two variants. One makes people more resilient and outgoing; the other can lead to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/consequences-of-low-self-esteem\/\">low self-esteem<\/a> and low optimism.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Genes #3 and #4: COMT and DRD4. <\/strong>These genes control dopamine, which aids concentration and is linked to action and risk-taking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>COMT is responsible for clearing dopamine out of the prefrontal cortex and there are three variants that clear dopamine: quickly, medium speed, or slowly. When there\u2019s excess dopamine in the prefrontal cortex (in times of stress), the brain shuts down, so the quick-clearing variant restores balance more quickly, aiding confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>DRD4 comes in two variants and those with DRD47R are more adventurous because the variant encourages pushing limits and extreme risk-taking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Epigenetics<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Even if you have genes that don\u2019t enhance confidence, that doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re doomed to be under-confident. <strong>Certain genes related to character traits can turn on and off, depending on life experiences, thus changing our brain chemistry\u2014and our confidence levels.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, the authors have the same combination of confidence-related gene variants\u2014slow-clearing COMT, resilient OXTR, and medium SLC6A4\u2014but they have different personalities and find different things easier and harder because they\u2019ve had different life experiences.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Brain Biology and Confidence<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>While there are no genetic differences between men and women\u2014the confidence-related gene variants are evenly distributed between genders\u2014the sexes <em>do <\/em>have physiological differences in their brains, think in different ways, and have different amounts of relevant hormones.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Women\u2019s and men\u2019s brain differ in the following ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Women who have the poor processing SLC6A4 or the slow-clearing COMT variant are more likely to be anxious than men who have them.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Women\u2019s brains produce around half the serotonin men\u2019s do.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Women have larger cingulate gyrus<\/strong> (the part of the brain that spots mistakes, considers options, and worries).<\/li><li><strong>Most of women\u2019s brain matter is in the frontal cortex (reasoning hub) and some of it is in the limbic cortex (emotional hub).<\/strong> Men\u2019s brain matter is distributed throughout the brain and less than half is in the frontal cortex. This suggests <strong>the sexes process information differently.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Women have more white brain matter<\/strong> (used for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/personal-connections\/\">making connections<\/a>) and men have more gray matter (used for solving isolated problems). <strong>Women\u2019s white matter often functions better than men\u2019s<\/strong>, particularly the white matter in the corpus callosum (the part of the brain that connects the left and right <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/two-hemispheres-of-the-brain\/\">hemispheres of the brain<\/a>). This suggests women can more easily use both sides of their brains, which helps them multitask.<\/li><li><strong>Women\u2019s brains are more active than men\u2019s<\/strong>, especially in the prefrontal and limbic cortex. This activity is probably responsible for women\u2019s skills with empathy, collaboration, and multitasking, but also makes women more vulnerable to ruminating and confidence-killing anxiety.<\/li><li><strong>Women use the amygdala (primitive fear centers) associated with thoughts, emotions, and memory more often<\/strong> than the one associated with action in response to negative emotions. Men do the opposite.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Plasticity<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p><em>All <\/em>of us, regardless of age, can physically change our brains, which means that <strong>if you <\/strong><strong><em>choose <\/em><\/strong><strong>to change your thinking and mental habits, you can rewire yourself to be more confident, regardless of your genes or sex.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-meditation-mindfulness\/\">meditation<\/a> can quiet and depower the amygdala. One experiment on stressed business people found that their amygdala actually <em>shrank <\/em>after meditation.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Hormones and Confidence<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>In the previous section, we looked at brain biology. Now, we\u2019ll look at two hormones that affect confidence: testosterone and estrogen. Both men and women have testosterone, but post-puberty, men have around 10 times more than women.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Testosterone<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Testosterone is responsible for muscle size, competition ability, speed, strength, and feelings of power. <strong>It\u2019s also related to risk-taking and ignoring warnings<\/strong>. While these qualities aid confidence, testosterone has some downsides\u2014it<strong> limits certain abilities, like cooperating and seeing other people\u2019s points of view.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, one study asked pairs of women to look at two images and agree on which was clearer. The pairs of women who received a testosterone supplement had more difficulty agreeing and were more often wrong.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Women can increase their testosterone levels by adopting male postures, like taking up space while sitting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Estrogen<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Estrogen encourages observation, social skills, and connection. Like testosterone, it has limitations too\u2014<strong>it contributes to risk avoidance, which can kill confidence. However, risk aversion isn\u2019t always bad\u2014sometimes risks fail\u2014and therefore estrogen\u2019s effects can enhance performance and success.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, one study found that over five years, women hedge fund managers&#8217; investments did three times better than men\u2019s.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Environment and Confidence<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>In the previous sections, you learned about how genetics, brain biology, and hormones affect confidence. But confidence isn\u2019t a matter of nature <em>versus<\/em> nurture\u2014both our biology and our environment affect us and neither will win out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Seven environmental influences contribute to women having lower self-belief than men:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #1: Expectations of \u201cgoodness.\u201d<\/strong> Starting in elementary school or even younger at home, girls are rewarded for being \u201cgood\u201d\u2014quiet, neat, compliant, and well-behaved. Encouraging goodness discourages confidence-building behavior like taking risks, being rowdy, or teasing and roughhousing (both common ways boys play).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #2: Fewer girls play sports. <\/strong>Sports are good for building confidence because playing them involves competing, winning, and losing, which have parallels with victories and setbacks throughout life (such as making a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-avoid-mistakes-at-work\/\">mistake at work<\/a>.) <strong>However, fewer girls play sports than boys, and girls are six times more likely to quit their team than boys.<\/strong> This is because girls\u2019 self-esteem drops more than boys\u2019 during adolescence and losing makes them so uncomfortable they stop competing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #3: The rules change.<\/strong> Unlike in the classroom, in the workplace, academic achievement and competence are no longer the requirements for success. Instead, success requires self-promotion, political savvy, and pushing beyond <em>no<\/em>s. Many women aren\u2019t skilled in these areas since they haven\u2019t had practice in their upbringing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #4: Stereotype threat.<\/strong> When there\u2019s a stereotype associated with a minority group, members of the group feel pressure to embody the stereotype. There are many negative stereotypes associated with women\u2019s abilities. For example, women are stereotypically worse at math than men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #5: Systemic barriers.<\/strong> Women don\u2019t have access to the same resources as men in the U.S. For example, American women earn more degrees than men and according to the Global Gender Gap, the U.S. is first in equality in educational attainment. There\u2019s no lack of competence\u2014but the U.S. is 67th in gender pay equality and 60th in political empowerment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #6: Body image expectations.<\/strong> Women\u2019s confidence is strongly tied to physical appearance and they\u2019re judged on their appearance more than men are. Women who don\u2019t meet society\u2019s beauty standards have a harder time in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, obese girls are less likely to attend college than other girls, but obese boys are just as likely to attend as other boys.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Influence #7: Self-imposed obstacles.<\/strong> In addition to the six external influences that inhibit women more than men from developing confidence, women also assume certain burdens such as a desire to be likable (making us so scared of offending people we don\u2019t act), overthinking (inhibiting our ability to act) internally attributing everything (chalking up anything that goes wrong as a personal failing), and perfectionism (unattainable, so you\u2019ll always feel too inadequate to take action).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Confidence Code<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>As you learned, both biological and environmental factors contribute to confidence, but confidence isn\u2019t a fixed trait\u2014you have to build it. Psychologists believe that 50% of confidence might come from choice and will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The confidence code\u2014the building blocks of confidence\u2014consists of three principles:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Don\u2019t overthink.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Act.&nbsp;<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/be-sincere\/\">Be authentic<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Practice adhering to the code using the following techniques:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #1: Fail fast.<\/strong> Failing fast is a business strategy that involves trying lots of ideas, <em>expecting <\/em>that most of them will fail. This is useful as a confidence-building strategy because it inherently involves the same cycle of repeated attempts, failure, and risk-taking necessary for building confidence. Additionally, it combats perfectionism and inhibits overthinking because the cycles are so fast there\u2019s simply not time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #2: Act, even when you\u2019re uncertain.<\/strong> If you stay inactive in your comfort zone, you won\u2019t improve or gain confidence. If you act, the worst thing that will happen is that you fail. You don\u2019t have to take massive action\u2014it\u2019s fine to start this strategy with baby steps. For example, if you\u2019re not confident about attending parties solo, first, go to a small event where you know people.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #3: Think differently using thought exercises.<\/strong> For example, to control ruminating, whenever you find yourself doing it, think of three things you\u2019ve done well that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #4: Change your focus. <\/strong>Women tend to be more confident when they focus on others instead of themselves. Therefore, you can spur yourself to act by thinking about how taking action will benefit others. For example, if you\u2019re nervous about public speaking, tell yourself you\u2019re speaking on behalf of people or a group you care about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #5: Take credit.<\/strong> When you achieve something, don\u2019t downplay it, attribute it to luck, or be self-deprecating. You deserve your achievements, so take credit for them. If you have trouble taking a compliment, say thank you and tell the person you appreciate them saying it. In moments when you lack confidence, remember these achievements\u2014you\u2019ll become more confident when you remember there\u2019s proof you\u2019ve been successful in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #6: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dont-take-anything-personally\/\">Don\u2019t take things personally<\/a>. <\/strong>When someone criticizes you at work, remember that this criticism is directed at your <em>work<\/em>, not you. Also, recognize that women face some obstacles men don\u2019t and this makes things harder for us. We\u2019re not incompetent or less capable; our lives are harder and we don\u2019t have access to the same resources.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #7: Become more comfortable speaking up. <\/strong>You can improve your confidence and speaking abilities by using whatever speaking style is most comfortable, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/focusing-on-others\/\">focusing on others<\/a>, and avoiding upspeak (when the pitch of your voice rises at the end of a sentence, making it sound like you\u2019re asking a question and are uncertain).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #8: Do things differently if necessary. <\/strong>You don\u2019t need to copy men or other people to be confident. If you have a new, more effective way of doing something, pursue it, even if you face criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Technique #9: Don\u2019t rely on external sources of confidence.<\/strong> There\u2019s nothing wrong with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-comparison\/\">comparing yourself to others<\/a> and enjoying <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others-3\/\">external validation<\/a>, but it\u2019s dangerous to <em>rely <\/em>on this as a source of confidence. You\u2019re less likely to act if you fear the action will make people stop praising you, and you\u2019ll be crushed when you don\u2019t get enough praise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Building Confidence in Others<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In the previous section, you learned some techniques for building <em>your <\/em>confidence. In this final chapter, you\u2019ll learn how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/build-confidence-and-destroy-fear\/\">build confidence<\/a> in your children and the women you know.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Building Confidence in Children<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The earlier in life we encounter the confidence builders (risk, failure, and so on), the faster and more effectively we build confidence.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some strategies for raising <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/building-confidence-in-your-child\/\">confident children<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. <\/strong><strong><em>Slowly <\/em><\/strong><strong>expose children to risk<\/strong>\u2014too much all at once might traumatize them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Be specific about praise.<\/strong> For example, if your son helps set the table, instead of saying \u201cgood job\u201d or \u201cyou\u2019re a perfect child,\u201d say something like, \u201cI like how you folded the napkins.\u201d Be especially careful not to overpraise daughters\u2014this encourages them to be good. (Also be careful not to overly reprimand daughters for the same reason.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. Don\u2019t fix their problems<\/strong>\u2014this will make them over reliant and impede their ability to develop tolerance for frustration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4. Teach them to master small life skills<\/strong> like cooking an egg or doing laundry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>5. Don\u2019t attach your status to their achievements.<\/strong> An Irish study found that young people thought pressure to meet their parents\u2019 expectations was mentally damaging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>6. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-leader-leads-by-example-not-by-force\/\">Lead by example<\/a>.<\/strong> Your children will copy you, so if they see you emulating confidence-building behavior like working hard, struggling, or recovering from mistakes, they\u2019ll pick it up too.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>7. Discourage perfectionism <\/strong>by praising appropriately, encouraging your daughter to be happy with doing her personal best, and encouraging her to reflect on past challenges and how she got past them to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/develop-resilience\/\">develop resilience<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>8. Push daughters toward math and science <\/strong>by pointing out how useful math is in small daily tasks and drawing their attention to the science they encounter every day, such as weather. Never make fun of your own science and math skills\u2014doing so reinforces stereotypes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>9. Encourage your daughters to play sports. <\/strong>Enroll them when they\u2019re young, don\u2019t let them quit if they fail, and consider individual sports if they don\u2019t like team sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>10. Draw your daughter\u2019s attention to women role models.<\/strong> This will show them what they could achieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>11. Encourage the \u201cgrowth mindset\u201d<\/strong>\u2014the belief that you can learn new things and improve if you put in effort (as opposed to your abilities being fixed). This mindset turns failure into a learning experience.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Building Confidence in Other Women<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some tips for encouraging other women in your life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. Share the facts about confidence<\/strong>, namely that it\u2019s a choice and everyone has the potential to develop it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Encourage women to acknowledge and talk about their achievements.<\/strong> It\u2019s possible to talk about achievements without bragging. For example, you might say your <em>team <\/em>did a great job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. Instead of defaulting to being supportive and sympathetic toward another woman, sometimes, encourage her to act<\/strong>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4. Especially if you\u2019re in a senior position, help other women advance. <\/strong>For example, whenever Christine Lagarde, chief of IMF, goes to a meeting, if she sees a woman who\u2019s too afraid to speak, she\u2019ll call on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>5. Act as a role model.<\/strong> If you\u2019re a successful woman, other women will be watching you, so display your confidence.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is The Confidence Code about? Why do girls tend to grow up less confident than boys? In their book The Confidence Code, journalists and authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman examine confidence\u2014what it is, why it\u2019s important, and why women seem predisposed to have less of it than men. While the book focuses on confidence in women, much of the confidence-building advice applies to men too. Below is a brief overview of the key takeaways from The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance\u2014What Women Should Know by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":20772,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,9],"tags":[489],"class_list":["post-48624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-psychology","tag-the-confidence-code","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Confidence Code: Book Overview - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In their book &quot;The Confidence Code,&quot; Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. Here is a brief overview.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Confidence Code: Book Overview\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In their book &quot;The Confidence Code,&quot; Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. Here is a brief overview.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-09-01T10:03:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-09-13T13:37:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1220\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"650\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"14 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"The Confidence Code: Book Overview\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-01T10:03:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-09-13T13:37:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\"},\"wordCount\":3131,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Confidence Code\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Books\",\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\",\"name\":\"The Confidence Code: Book Overview - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-01T10:03:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-09-13T13:37:26+00:00\",\"description\":\"In their book \\\"The Confidence Code,\\\" Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. Here is a brief overview.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg\",\"width\":1220,\"height\":650},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Confidence Code: Book Overview\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\",\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png\",\"caption\":\"Darya Sinusoid\"},\"description\":\"Darya\u2019s love for reading started with fantasy novels (The LOTR trilogy is still her all-time-favorite). Growing up, however, she found herself transitioning to non-fiction, psychological, and self-help books. She has a degree in Psychology and a deep passion for the subject. She likes reading research-informed books that distill the workings of the human brain\/mind\/consciousness and thinking of ways to apply the insights to her own life. Some of her favorites include Thinking, Fast and Slow, How We Decide, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/darya\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Confidence Code: Book Overview - Shortform Books","description":"In their book \"The Confidence Code,\" Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. Here is a brief overview.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Confidence Code: Book Overview","og_description":"In their book \"The Confidence Code,\" Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. Here is a brief overview.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2021-09-01T10:03:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-09-13T13:37:26+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1220,"height":650,"url":"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Darya Sinusoid","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Darya Sinusoid","Est. reading time":"14 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/"},"author":{"name":"Darya Sinusoid","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46"},"headline":"The Confidence Code: Book Overview","datePublished":"2021-09-01T10:03:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-09-13T13:37:26+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/"},"wordCount":3131,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg","keywords":["The Confidence Code"],"articleSection":["Books","Psychology"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/","name":"The Confidence Code: Book Overview - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg","datePublished":"2021-09-01T10:03:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-09-13T13:37:26+00:00","description":"In their book \"The Confidence Code,\" Katty Kay and Claire Shipman shed light on the psychology behind confidence. Here is a brief overview.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg","width":1220,"height":650},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-confidence-code-book\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Confidence Code: Book Overview"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46","name":"Darya Sinusoid","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/Untitled-design-1.png","caption":"Darya Sinusoid"},"description":"Darya\u2019s love for reading started with fantasy novels (The LOTR trilogy is still her all-time-favorite). Growing up, however, she found herself transitioning to non-fiction, psychological, and self-help books. She has a degree in Psychology and a deep passion for the subject. She likes reading research-informed books that distill the workings of the human brain\/mind\/consciousness and thinking of ways to apply the insights to her own life. Some of her favorites include Thinking, Fast and Slow, How We Decide, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram.","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/darya\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/girl-books-quotes.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48624"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48975,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48624\/revisions\/48975"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}