{"id":47762,"date":"2021-10-06T16:30:16","date_gmt":"2021-10-06T20:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=47762"},"modified":"2021-10-10T16:42:55","modified_gmt":"2021-10-10T20:42:55","slug":"listening-and-leadership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Gratitude and Listening in Leadership"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why is it important to always show gratitude as a leader? How do listening and leadership go hand-in-hand?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leadership expert Marshall Goldsmith says that expressing gratitude and listening to others are two essential skills for managers to have. However, many managers tend to hold on to these two bad habits: 1) not saying thank you and 2) neglecting to listen to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We&#8217;ll discuss both of these principles below. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Bad Habit #1: Not Saying Thank You<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the simplest tenets of good etiquette is saying thank you when people compliment you or give you a helpful suggestion. Yet when it comes to putting politeness into practice, many leaders fall short. They fall into the bad habit of <strong>not expressing gratitude <\/strong>for other people\u2019s help.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People may refrain from saying thank you for a number of reasons. First, they may do so because they\u2019ve fallen into one of the other bad habits we\u2019ve covered. While these leaders know that saying thank you is important, their compulsion to engage in their bad habit trumps their need to be polite. For instance, imagine you\u2019re someone who feels the need to \u201cadd value\u201d to people\u2019s suggestions. If you\u2019ve fallen into this bad practice, you\u2019re automatically going to respond to people\u2019s ideas with a suggestion of improvement, not a simple thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Second, some leaders avoid gratitude because they see it as a form of weakness. When we thank someone, we acknowledge that they\u2019ve helped us in some way. Many leaders would prefer to appear self-sufficient and \u201cgood enough\u201d without needing others\u2019 help. They think that cultivating this image will give them an air of superiority and help them to maintain power over their subordinates. In reality, it\u2019ll only make them appear ungrateful, arrogant, and unappreciative of other people\u2019s efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Third, some leaders rarely express their gratitude because they feel they have to wait until the \u201cright time\u201d to do so. This \u201cright time\u201d is usually a big event\u2014for instance, one of their team members completing a huge project, or their team hitting their annual target. These leaders think that the phrase \u201cthank you\u201d becomes less impactful the more it\u2019s said, and should therefore be saved for \u201cspecial occasions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, this simply isn\u2019t true. People will never get sick of being thanked\u2014it makes them feel appreciated and valued. So, you might as well thank them as often as possible (provided they deserve this effusive gratitude).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Healthier Behavior: <\/strong>Say thank you, and do so often. When someone compliments you or gives you a suggestion, fight the urge to say anything but those two short words.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Goldsmith\u2019s Gratitude Drill<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you think you\u2019ll struggle to get used to the idea of expressing gratitude after years of not doing so, Goldsmith suggests completing what he calls a \u201cgratitude drill.\u201d This drill has two simple steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Identify the top 25 people who\u2019ve helped you to get to your current level of career success.<\/li><li>Send each of these people a note expressing your gratitude for the role they\u2019ve played in your success so far.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Not only will doing this give you valuable experience in thanking people and hopefully make you more comfortable with doing so, it\u2019ll also stop you from becoming arrogant\u2014from thinking that you and your amazing abilities have been the only factors in your success. It\u2019ll remind you that actually, you\u2019ve had a lot of help along your career journey\u2014a realization that will keep you humble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Bad Habit #2: Refusing to Listen to Other People<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Often, successful people feel so confident in their abilities and cleverness that they think listening to others is a waste of time.<\/strong> They believe that they already know all the answers and the best approaches to every situation. Why should they sit around listening to ideas they\u2019ve probably already thought of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People may display this attitude in two main ways. First, they might simply zone out of conversations and stop taking in what other people are saying. This is probably the less harmful of the two behaviors since a lot of the time, the person speaking won\u2019t realize that their conversational partner has mentally checked out. They\u2019ll remain oblivious to the fact that they\u2019re not being listened to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The second, more harmful way that people display that they don\u2019t want to listen to people is by actively trying to hurry the person who\u2019s talking. For example, they may look at their watch, tap their fingers impatiently, or even tell the person to hurry up and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-the-main-point\/\">get to the point<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These actions send the message, \u201cyou\u2019re not good or clever enough for me to bother listening to you, so I want to get you out of the way quickly.\u201d Not only will this destroy the speaker\u2019s confidence, but it\u2019ll also make them resent you. Nobody likes being made to feel like an unimportant annoyance.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Healthier Behavior: <\/strong>Respectfully listen to any ideas that people put forward to you, no matter how busy you are. Giving people the time of day is the only way to maintain their respect and make them feel valued.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Becoming a Good Listener<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To properly combine listening and leadership, you need to put the following three principles into action:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #1: Let the other person speak.<\/strong> It\u2019s impossible to listen to someone effectively if you\u2019re the one doing all the talking, or if you keep interrupting the other person. Just keep quiet and let the person get their point across. Once they\u2019ve finished, ask them a question about what they\u2019ve just said. This will demonstrate that you\u2019ve been listening. Plus, it\u2019ll give the person the opportunity to start talking again as they answer your question.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might worry that keeping quiet throughout a conversation will make you appear like you have nothing interesting to say. However, Goldsmith argues that this is rarely the case. The other person will be so grateful to have been given the chance to speak that they\u2019ll see you in nothing but a positive light.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #2: Give the other person your full attention while they\u2019re talking.<\/strong> Don\u2019t multitask when someone\u2019s talking to you. For example, don\u2019t start to type out an email mid-conversation. Likewise, don\u2019t let yourself get distracted by events going on around you. For instance, don\u2019t start paying close attention to what your boss is doing across the room and subsequently \u201czone out\u201d of your conversation. All of these actions give the impression that you don\u2019t really care about the person who\u2019s speaking or what they\u2019re saying, and therefore can\u2019t be bothered to pay full attention to them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #3: Be mindful when deciding how to respond to the other person.<\/strong> Ask yourself whether what you\u2019re about to say is going to make the other person feel respected, appreciated, and listened to. If it\u2019s not\u2014for example, if your initial instinct is to dismiss what the person\u2019s said outright and immediately change the subject\u2014consider whether there\u2019s a better way forward. Should you maybe hold your tongue in order to spare the other person\u2019s feelings and protect your reputation as a good listener?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why is it important to always show gratitude as a leader? How do listening and leadership go hand-in-hand? Leadership expert Marshall Goldsmith says that expressing gratitude and listening to others are two essential skills for managers to have. However, many managers tend to hold on to these two bad habits: 1) not saying thank you and 2) neglecting to listen to others. We&#8217;ll discuss both of these principles below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":50811,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,14,43],"tags":[478],"class_list":["post-47762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-management","category-self-improvement","tag-what-got-you-here-wont-get-you-there","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Importance of Gratitude and Listening in Leadership - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Gratitude and listening are two very important leadership skills. In his book, Marshall Goldsmith discusses how you can improve your skills.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Importance of Gratitude and Listening in Leadership\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Gratitude and listening are two very important leadership skills. In his book, Marshall Goldsmith discusses how you can improve your skills.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-10-06T20:30:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-10T20:42:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/work-meeting.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1148\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"696\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"The Importance of Gratitude and Listening in Leadership\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-10-06T20:30:16+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-10T20:42:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/\"},\"wordCount\":1237,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/work-meeting.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"What Got You Here Won&#039;t Get You There\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Management\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/\",\"name\":\"The Importance of Gratitude and Listening in Leadership - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/listening-and-leadership\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/work-meeting.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-10-06T20:30:16+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-10T20:42:55+00:00\",\"description\":\"Gratitude and listening are two very important leadership skills. 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