{"id":45835,"date":"2021-08-20T07:41:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-20T11:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=45835"},"modified":"2021-08-20T07:51:01","modified_gmt":"2021-08-20T11:51:01","slug":"how-to-be-more-resilient","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-more-resilient\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be More Resilient: The Best 4 Strategies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you constantly analyzing yourself? Do you try to avoid or repress negative emotions? Do you feel powerless in your life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you answered yes to these questions, you need to learn how to be more resilient<\/a>. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, <\/em>Bren\u00e9 Brown offers four strategies for building resilience that will lead to a better mental state and more happiness in your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading for Bren\u00e9 Brown’s advice on how to be more resilient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Building Resilience<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Brown\u2019s next strategy for living Wholeheartedly<\/a> is how to be more resilient<\/strong>. Brown\u2019s research found that people who lived Wholeheartedly all <\/em>had some resilience: They\u2019d experienced struggles but had found a way to work through them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Brown\u2019s discussion of resilience suggests that if you lack resilience, living Wholeheartedly may be more difficult.<\/strong> You may be more vulnerable to threats to your worthiness. Any trauma or struggle can negatively impact how you feel about yourself. If you can’t learn from and rise above those struggles, you’re in danger of feeling that you’re not worthy of a different, happier life.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em>, Brown presents four strategies for generating resilience. While she presents the first three strategies as being sub-strategies of, or at least linked to, the fourth, most important strategy\u2014embracing spirituality\u2014it\u2019s at times unclear how each practice connects to the theme of spirituality. For this reason, we\u2019re going to discuss all four strategies separately:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #1: Develop Hope<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You might think that hope is an emotion: the feeling of wanting something to happen. However, Brown, citing the research of the late psychologist C. R. Snyder, argues that this isn\u2019t true. She supports Snyder\u2019s assertion that hope is actually a way of thinking. <\/strong>According to Snyder, hope is a powerful combination of self-belief, goal-setting, and motivation<\/strong><\/a>\u2014in other words, deciding what you want to achieve, believing you can achieve it, and having the grit to keep trying to achieve it, even in the face of challenges. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Brown, if we don\u2019t cultivate hope, we run the risk of feeling powerless: like we can\u2019t achieve our dreams or improve our lives. It\u2019s hard to be resilient if you feel that you can\u2019t change your life<\/a> for the better. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Other Benefits of Hope<\/strong>

Developing a hopeful mindset won\u2019t just help you to build resilience: Studies have shown that hopefulness can have various health benefits, too. <\/strong>For instance, being hopeful may help you to live a healthier lifestyle. One study found that college students with high levels of hope were more likely to limit their fat intake and exercise regularly<\/a>. Another study found that hopeful people are more likely to adopt positive weight management behaviors<\/a>, such as meal planning<\/a> and being mindful of meal portion size. 

Furthermore, a review of the literature into hope and physical health notes that hope may be linked to: Having a higher pain tolerance, being able to emotionally cope with a cancer diagnosis, accepting and coping with injury or disability, etc.

Just as having hope can benefit physical health, research suggests that hopelessness can present a severe risk to health.<\/strong> One study found that in men, high hopelessness was linked to negative health outcomes such as cancer, heart attacks, and violent death<\/a>. Furthermore, research has linked hopelessness in college students to over-consumption of alcohol and smoking<\/a>.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #2: Critically Analyze Societal Messages That Harm Resilience<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As Brown notes, we constantly encounter messages in the media about what we \u201cshould\u201d do\u2014for example, how we should look and the products we should buy. These messages aren\u2019t necessarily valid or realistic. For instance, a common societal message, often projected by the beauty industry, is that to be attractive, you must <\/em>have clear skin and perfectly-styled hair\u2014but this isn\u2019t true. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, Brown argues that if you encounter these societal expectations<\/a> often enough, you may start believing that they <\/strong>are<\/em><\/strong> valid.<\/strong> Furthermore, you might start to judge and shame yourself for not meeting them\u2014which will harm your resilience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To avoid this damage to your resilience, Brown suggests practicing critical awareness. This means evaluating the media you consume and the expectations that it communicates:<\/strong> Are those expectations really <\/em>valid or realistic? Would following them actually <\/em>make your life better? Questioning the expectations will help you to realize that they\u2019re unreasonable and that you shouldn\u2019t try to live up to them. By keeping this in mind, you can protect your worthiness\u2014and, consequently, your resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which Media Gives Messages That We Should Critically Analyze?<\/strong>

In The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em>, Brown highlights television commercials as a major source of harmful societal messages that we must critically analyze. For example, many commercials feature extremely slim people who are held up as models of beauty, perpetuating the expectation that to be thin, you must be beautiful\u2014a message that warrants analysis, since it\u2019s arguably neither valid nor realistic. 

However, commercials aren\u2019t the only source of these harmful messages. In recent years, social media has also become a leading source of damaging societal expectations<\/strong><\/a> that we must view critically.<\/strong> For instance, there are concerns that content on Instagram\u2014a platform that hit 1 billion monthly users in 2018<\/a>\u2014promotes various standards of living that are highly unrealistic, but that users feel they must adhere to. These include unrealistic beauty standards. 

On Instagram, users regularly \u201cfilter\u201d and otherwise edit their photos<\/a> to make themselves look slimmer, change the size of their facial features, and remove skin blemishes. These edited posts are often held up as a standard of beauty<\/a>, despite the fact that they don\u2019t reflect reality. In fact, these standards are so unrealistic that many women would need to have plastic surgery (or at least continue to heavily edit their photos) to achieve them<\/a>. Such unrealistic and invalid standards are a prime target for critical analysis: Should we really<\/em> be holding ourselves to standards that no person could naturally achieve?<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #3: Refuse to Numb Negative Emotions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

According to Brown, numbing is a common response to uncomfortable negative emotions. We\u2019re afraid of feeling these emotions, so we try to \u201ctake the edge off\u201d them\u2014for instance, by consuming alcohol. The problem with this approach is that numbing leads to <\/strong>positive<\/em><\/strong> <\/em>emotions being dulled as well as negative ones\u2014and being unable to feel positive emotions<\/a> can harm your resilience.<\/strong> As Brown notes, one thing that helps us to get through tough times is recalling happier times. If you\u2019re unable to fully experience positive emotions, you won’t have as much positivity to draw on when you\u2019re struggling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of giving in to the temptation of numbing, Brown suggests forcing yourself to feel and address your negative emotions. For example, if you\u2019re feeling sad, allow yourself to cry and fully explore the root of your sadness: where it’s come from, and why it\u2019s so powerful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: While feeling <\/em>and understanding<\/em> your negative emotions may help you to process them healthily, some authors believe that dwelling<\/em> on these emotions\u2014in other words, thinking about and analyzing them for too long\u2014may be counterproductive. For instance, Daniel Goleman argues that extensively ruminating on difficult emotions like anger and anxiety can actually increase and extend your emotional pain<\/a>, rather than helping you to manage it. In other words, addressing negative emotions may be a delicate balance: Don\u2019t ignore or numb your feelings, but don\u2019t let them consume you for too long, either.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #4: Embrace Spirituality<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

During her research, Brown found that having a deep sense of spirituality is one of the most crucial factors in cultivating resilience. She defines spirituality as recognizing the existence of a higher power that connects us all<\/strong>. (The \u201chigher power\u201d in this equation could be a religious power, such a god, but it doesn\u2019t have to be.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Brown, embracing spirituality increases resilience in a number of ways. For instance, she argues that the feeling of connection<\/a> to others and a higher power that spirituality brings makes overcoming tough times feel easier. Being resilient is less challenging if you feel you\u2019re not alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Embracing spirituality or religion may have more benefits to mental health than just increasing resilience. According to a report by UK charity The Mental Health Foundation, research links spirituality to decreased levels of depression and anxiety<\/a>. Spiritual beliefs may also aid recovery from trauma<\/a>. However, the report notes that the picture isn\u2019t clear-cut: Research indicates that some forms of spirituality, such as strict religious observance, can trigger or worsen mental health issues.)  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you constantly analyzing yourself? Do you try to avoid or repress negative emotions? Do you feel powerless in your life? If you answered yes to these questions, you need to learn how to be more resilient. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Bren\u00e9 Brown offers four strategies for building resilience that will lead to a better mental state and more happiness in your life. Continue reading for Bren\u00e9 Brown’s advice on how to be more resilient.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":45916,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,43,24],"tags":[385],"class_list":["post-45835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-self-improvement","category-society","tag-the-gifts-of-imperfection","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Be More Resilient: The Best 4 Strategies - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you feel powerless in life, like you're not good enough, you need to learn how to be more resilient. 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