{"id":45830,"date":"2021-08-13T16:07:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-13T20:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=45830"},"modified":"2021-08-20T08:10:47","modified_gmt":"2021-08-20T12:10:47","slug":"define-worthiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/","title":{"rendered":"How Bren\u00e9 Brown Defines Worthiness: The 4 Principles"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is worthiness according to Bren\u00e9 Brown? Is it possible to improve your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sense-of-self-worth\/\">sense of self-worth<\/a> as an adult?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>The Gifts of Imperfection,<\/em> Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness in a way that is similar to self-esteem. She claims that many people today don&#8217;t feel worthy and believe that they will never be good enough. She also says that you can improve your sense of worthiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness and what you can do to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-develop-self-worth\/\">improve your self-worth<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Defining Worthiness<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness as <strong>the conviction that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-good-are-you\/\">you are good<\/a> enough as you are, flaws and all, and that you deserve to be loved.<\/strong> In simpler terms, we might conceive it as <strong>having high self-esteem. <\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown develops the idea of worthiness organically through anecdotes, advice on how to feel worthy, and descriptions of love and belonging, and it can be hard to pull out the main ideas about worthiness. We\u2019ve synthesized the four key principles that seem to underpin her idea of worthiness:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #1: Accept yourself unconditionally.<\/strong> Don\u2019t set prerequisites for being worthy\u2014for example, \u201cI\u2019ll be good enough once I\u2019ve paid off all my debts\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll be good enough once I\u2019ve got a college degree.\u201d You don\u2019t need to meet these arbitrary requirements to be worthy because you\u2019re enough <em>as you are, today<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #2:<\/strong> <strong>Abandon the idea that to be \u201cenough,\u201d you need to fit societal standards or other people\u2019s expectations.<\/strong> You\u2019re worthy as you are, no matter how well you \u201cfit in\u201d or what anyone else thinks.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #3: Reject the notion that you need to earn self-worth by proving yourself or pleasing others.<\/strong> Your worthiness isn\u2019t rooted in your actions\u2014for example, succeeding at work or making lots of friends. <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-genius\/\">Who you are<\/a><\/em>, not <em>what you do<\/em>, is at the center of your worth.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Principle #4: Believe that you deserve love and belonging. <\/strong>During her research, Brown found that it\u2019s impossible to fully experience love or belonging until you\u2019ve cultivated worthiness. People with a lack of self-worth often believe that they don\u2019t <em>deserve<\/em> to belong or receive love, and when we feel we don\u2019t deserve something, we reject it.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/consequences-of-low-self-esteem\/\">Low Self-Esteem<\/a> Epidemic<\/strong><br><br>In <em>The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em>, Brown acknowledges that many of us struggle to see our worthiness. <strong>But <em>why<\/em> do so many of us have low self-esteem?&nbsp;<\/strong><br><br>Many writers and researchers have attempted to answer this question. For instance, in his seminal work <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/12-rules-for-life\"><em>12 Rules for Life<\/em><\/a>, Jordan Peterson approaches low self-esteem from an ethical angle. He argues that since humanity has repeatedly revealed its propensity for evil\u2014for instance, through atrocities such as the Holocaust\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/12-rules-for-life\/rule-2\">it\u2019s become much easier for us to hate both humanity as a whole and ourselves<\/a> (presumably for being part of the fundamentally \u201cevil\u201d human race).<br><br>Meanwhile, writer and speaker Rachel Hollis writes in her book <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/girl-wash-your-face\"><em>Girl, Wash Your Face<\/em><\/a> that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/girl-wash-your-face\/lie-3\">low self-worth is often a result of childhood trauma<\/a>. <a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1177\/0020764019894618\">Psychological research<\/a> supports this theory. Childhood trauma is widespread\u2014the US government\u2019s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) reports that, by age 16, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.samhsa.gov\/child-trauma\/understanding-child-trauma\">almost 70% of young people have experienced some form of trauma<\/a>. Therefore, it\u2019s no wonder that so many adults have low self-esteem.<br><br>The good news is that, whatever its cause, low self-esteem\u2014or, as Brown may frame it, a lack of worthiness\u2014<em>can <\/em>be improved, as she discusses next.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is worthiness according to Bren\u00e9 Brown? Is it possible to improve your sense of self-worth as an adult? In The Gifts of Imperfection, Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness in a way that is similar to self-esteem. She claims that many people today don&#8217;t feel worthy and believe that they will never be good enough. She also says that you can improve your sense of worthiness. Keep reading to learn how Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness and what you can do to improve your self-worth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":45857,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,43,24],"tags":[385],"class_list":["post-45830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-self-improvement","category-society","tag-the-gifts-of-imperfection","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Bren\u00e9 Brown Defines Worthiness: The 4 Principles - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness in a way that&#039;s similar to self-esteem. 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Here is her advice for raising your sense of self-worth.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-08-13T20:07:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-08-20T12:10:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/love-youself.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1263\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"738\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"How Bren\u00e9 Brown Defines Worthiness: The 4 Principles\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-08-13T20:07:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-08-20T12:10:47+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/\"},\"wordCount\":590,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/love-youself.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Gifts of Imperfection\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Self-Improvement\",\"Society\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/\",\"name\":\"How Bren\u00e9 Brown Defines Worthiness: The 4 Principles - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/define-worthiness\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/love-youself.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-08-13T20:07:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-08-20T12:10:47+00:00\",\"description\":\"Bren\u00e9 Brown defines worthiness in a way that's similar to self-esteem. 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