{"id":45552,"date":"2026-01-01T20:56:37","date_gmt":"2026-01-02T00:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=45552"},"modified":"2026-01-05T22:56:42","modified_gmt":"2026-01-06T02:56:42","slug":"a-balanced-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-balanced-life\/","title":{"rendered":"The Myth of a Balanced Life: Strive for Counterbalance Instead"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

You might believe you should strive to give equal time and attention to all areas of your life. Entrepreneur Gary Keller<\/a> says this is a myth. If you want to achieve uncommon success at something, you\u2019ll sometimes need to neglect other areas of life. A musician who\u2019s training for a crucial recital can\u2019t at the same time write her memoir or learn to cook healthier food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keller urges you to accept that, when you\u2019re intensely focused on one thing, other areas of your life will temporarily slide. You should manage this imbalance strategically\u2014let the dishes pile up for a week while you meet a key deadline, but don\u2019t leave them so long you can\u2019t cook anymore. Keep reading to learn how to ditch the notion of a balanced life<\/a> and learn to counterbalance instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Originally Published:\u00a0August 11, 2021<\/em>
Last Updated:<\/em> January 1, 2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why a Balanced Life Can Hinder Success<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In The ONE Thing<\/a><\/em>, Gary Keller argues that a balanced life<\/a> in which no area of life is neglected is a myth. Trying to maintain balance will keep you from achieving extraordinary success because success requires allowing some things to remain unaddressed, at least temporarily, so you can focus on what\u2019s most important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The goal of achieving balance in our lives is relatively recent<\/strong>. For most of human history, work and life were synonymous. You had<\/em> to work all the time, hunting or raising crops and livestock, in order to live. With the rise of the industrial age, people began working for others, who then controlled much of their time. Unions and labor laws sought to mitigate work demands on time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The work-life balance<\/a> concept emerged in the 1980s, when a critical mass of women entered the workforce and had to meet the demands of both work and home life. In the 1990s, balance became important for men too. The rise of technology that erased work-life boundaries added to the craving for a balanced life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Keller\u2019s ideas align with a larger consensus: that balance and uncommon success don\u2019t often go hand-in-hand. In Mastery<\/em><\/a>,<\/em> bestselling author Robert Greene adds that people who reach mastery\u2014the peak of creative excellence\u2014are often obsessed, choosing to single-mindedly pursue their craft at the expense of other opportunities. In a similar vein, chess and tai chi champion Josh Waitzkin recounts in The Art of Learning<\/a><\/em> how, growing up, he chose chess over all else, learning to tolerate mess and clutter so that he could stay focused on skill-building. Waitzkin refers to this as \u201ctolerating chaos<\/a>,\u201d and it\u2019s just what Keller points to when he suggests it\u2019s OK to leave the dishes for later.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Counterbalancing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The problem is that balancing all areas of your life at once keeps you from making an extraordinary commitment to anything<\/strong>. Yet the extremes are where exceptional achievement occurs. We instinctively know this, but don\u2019t know how to manage our lives while pursuing the extraordinary. We swing back and forth between working too long and neglecting our personal life, and neglecting work to take care of family matters. Either way, we end up feeling we don\u2019t \u201chave a life.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of trying to do everything at once or swinging between extremes, we need to counterbalance, which is what ballet dancers do. A ballerina may look like she\u2019s balancing, but she\u2019s really counterbalancing or making constant adjustments with her toes and ankles create the effect she wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you counterbalance, you focus on your One Thing at work or at home, and shift to another area only when you need to.<\/strong> Like a ballerina, you remain aware of what\u2019s happening and make adjustments as necessary one at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Counterbalancing Works<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The question isn\u2019t whether you allow aspects of your life to be out of balance while you focus on the most important thing in a particular area\u2014it\u2019s for how long: a short period or a long one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At work, go long\u2014accept that achieving extraordinary results will require extraordinary focus<\/strong> on One Thing for long periods. This means allowing other work tasks to go undone for long periods, with only occasional counterbalancing or shifting focus<\/a> to address the most pressing ones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In your personal life, go short. The key is to be aware of personal and family needs and constantly counterbalance or switch your focus to address them<\/strong>. You can\u2019t neglect your family, friends, and personal interests for long without causing irreparable damage. Shift back and forth quickly between personal priorities to ensure you\u2019re leaving nothing unattended for long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In your work, some things necessarily will fall by the wayside; in your personal life, you can\u2019t let important things languish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Suzanne\u2019s Diary for Nicholas<\/em>, author James Patterson offers a work-life metaphor: It\u2019s like juggling five balls representing work, family, health, friends, and integrity. Work is a rubber ball\u2014if you drop it, it will bounce\u2014but the others are glass, which will shatter or be damaged if you\u2019re careless with them. So you can afford to drop some balls at work, but not in your personal life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Counterbalanced Life<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

To get the most important things done at work and<\/em> at home, think of prioritizing in both places rather than balancing one against the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At work, be clear about your most important priority so you can get it done in order to focus on your priorities outside of work. At home, understand your priorities there so you can address them and go back to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop striving for a balanced life, and start living a counterbalanced life.<\/strong> Let the right things take precedence, and tackle the rest when you can.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You might believe you should strive to give equal time and attention to all areas of your life. Entrepreneur Gary Keller says this is a myth. If you want to achieve uncommon success at something, you\u2019ll sometimes need to neglect other areas of life. A musician who\u2019s training for a crucial recital can\u2019t at the same time write her memoir or learn to cook healthier food. Keller urges you to accept that, when you\u2019re intensely focused on one thing, other areas of your life will temporarily slide. You should manage this imbalance strategically\u2014let the dishes pile up for a week<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":147020,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[455],"class_list":["post-45552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-the-one-thing","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Myth of a Balanced Life: Strive for Counterbalance Instead - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A balanced life is a myth. 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