{"id":44945,"date":"2021-08-04T12:44:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-04T16:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=44945"},"modified":"2021-08-09T15:26:42","modified_gmt":"2021-08-09T19:26:42","slug":"elements-of-feedback","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/","title":{"rendered":"The 2 Elements of Feedback and How to Deliver Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What constitutes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-feedback-in-the-workplace\/\">effective feedback<\/a>? How can you ensure that your feedback is acted upon? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, the authors of <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thanks-for-the-feedback-book\/\">Thanks for the Feedback<\/a><\/em>, there are just two elements of feedback: 1) the looking-back element, and 2) the looking-forward element. To ensure your feedback is taken on board, make sure that the receiver understands both parts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is how to structure feedback to ensure both the giver and the receiver are on the same page. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Feedback Has Two Elements<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two elements of feedback: an element looking back (here\u2019s what I think) and an element looking forward (here\u2019s what you should do). When the receiver of feedback does not properly understand exactly what experiences, values, and biases are producing the feedback, or what its explicit goal is, she tends to dismiss it as \u201cuntrue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1) <strong>Where the Feedback Is Coming From<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The first part of feedback, the looking-back piece, is made up of a combination of data and interpretation of that data.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Data<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Feedback begins with data\u2014observations that a person makes about you. Observations can be about anything, including your actions, statements, clothing, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/good-work-habits-2\/\">work habits<\/a>, or even rumors about you. Though \u201cdata\u201d sounds objective, observations are quite subjective. <strong>Different people pay attention to different data they come across because of variables in access, priorities, and biases.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Different access: Your position in an organization or your relationships to other people affect what information you have access to. (Your boss knows what your colleagues are paid but you don\u2019t. The receptionist hears gossip the CEO doesn\u2019t.)<\/li><li>Different priorities: Even when we have access to the same data, our differing life experiences and priorities cause us to notice different things. (We may all walk down the same street, but the weekend cyclist will notice the bike path, while the woman with a cane will see the access ramps.)<\/li><li>Different biases: We tend to notice things that confirm our pre-existing emotional connection to something. (If we like a person, we\u2019ll notice the good things she does. If we don\u2019t, we may ignore those good things and focus on the time she messed something up.)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Problems arise when two people approach feedback with two different <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/multiple-data-sets\/\">sets of data<\/a>. For example, a marketing team might object to the amount of push-back their legal counsel gives their marketing materials. The marketing team is looking at data from other companies, watching as their competitors put out messages faster and with less legal oversight. Their counsel, though, has access to different data. She sees litigation reports that show how costly it can be when a company gets caught up in legal problems its counsel could have anticipated.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Interpretations<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Interpretations are the emotions, judgments, and values that people attach to their observations. Interpretations are also subjective, influenced by different rules, points of view, and (again) biases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Different rules: We each approach life with an assumption of a basic set of rules\u2014a set of standards and operating principles that govern our behavior. Organizations, regions, and families also have their own sets of rules, which create that body\u2019s culture. You may think of these rules as \u201cthe\u201d rules, while they really may just be \u201cyour\u201d rules.<ul><li><strong>Problems arise when two people are following different sets of rules and not realizing they\u2019re different.<\/strong> One company may value blunt honesty, while a second company may place a higher value on tact. Someone who moves from the first company to the second may find that her management style, once highly appreciated, no longer gets the same results. Two roommates may clash because the first assumes everyone aims to live in a well-organized house, while the second feels clutter is a normal part of life.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li>Different points of view: <strong>Everyone sees themselves as the hero of their particular story,<\/strong> and they see other people as supporting characters or worse, villains.&nbsp;<ul><li>A daughter may be upset to see her mother in great pain after a surgery and may demand her mother receive painkillers, as her data tells her that her mother has a very high tolerance for pain, so this visible pain must be horrendous. The doctor may refuse, as <em>her<\/em> data tells her the dangers of opioid addiction and that this particular pain should resolve quickly. Both the daughter and the doctor feel like the hero, protecting the mother. They may very well also see each other as the villain.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li>Different biases: Just as biases influence what data we pay attention to, they also influence how we interpret that data.<ul><li>If we like a person, we might applaud her \u201cwillingness to take risks,\u201d whereas if we don\u2019t, we might caution that those same actions are \u201cunnecessarily risky.\u201d<\/li><li><strong>We are also biased to favor our own actions in comparison to others\u2019:<\/strong> The vast majority of drivers believe they are above-average, and the vast majority of managers believe they are in the top ten percent.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Conflicts happen not only when each party follows a different set of rules, values, and assumptions, but also when each believes hers are more correct than the other persons&#8217;. <strong>To find common ground, we must recognize that different people have different \u201ctruths\u201d: Your views on another person are subjective and your data and interpretations are not necessarily more correct than other peoples\u2019.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2) <strong>Where the Feedback Is Going<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The second major element of feedback is the forward-looking piece. If the feedback is coaching, the forward-looking element is about advice (\u201cYou need less salt in this dish\u201d). If the feedback is evaluation, the forward-looking piece is about consequences and expectations (\u201cYou aren\u2019t allowed to cook for my parents again\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Dangers of Labels<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>You can\u2019t properly understand feedback without understanding the labels through which it is typically delivered.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The process of moving from observation to interpretation happens fairly instantaneously and unconsciously; it\u2019s how our brains work. Therefore, we are often unaware that it has happened. When we throw out an interpretation while thinking it\u2019s an observation, we create a \u201clabel.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Labels are shorthand for feedback. They are usually pithy phrases that sum up a person\u2019s thoughts but are vague and open to interpretation (and misinterpretation). For example, \u201cBe more assertive\u201d is a label that can be interpreted in different ways.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because labels are vague, we often supply our own interpretation to them, which can lead to problems if it doesn\u2019t match what the person was actually trying to say. We may hear \u201cbe more assertive\u201d and think it means \u201chound the customer better for a sale,\u201d when in fact it means \u201cact more energetic and engaging.\u201d \u201cBe more affectionate\u201d might mean \u201chold hands in public,\u201d but it could also mean \u201cinitiate sex more often.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Labels are triggering because we read into them meanings that catch us emotionally. To prevent such a trigger, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/make-a-habit\/\">make a habit<\/a> of identifying labels and resisting the urge to supply your own meaning. Instead of fixating on the label, try to figure out what\u2019s behind it, and where the feedback is coming from.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What constitutes effective feedback? How can you ensure that your feedback is acted upon? According to Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, the authors of Thanks for the Feedback, there are just two elements of feedback: 1) the looking-back element, and 2) the looking-forward element. To ensure your feedback is taken on board, make sure that the receiver understands both parts. Here is how to structure feedback to ensure both the giver and the receiver are on the same page.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":44946,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,14,30],"tags":[449],"class_list":["post-44945","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-management","category-work","tag-thanks-for-the-feedback","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The 2 Elements of Feedback and How to Deliver Them - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are two elements of feedback: an element looking back (here\u2019s what I think) and an element looking forward (here\u2019s what you should do).\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 2 Elements of Feedback and How to Deliver Them\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are two elements of feedback: an element looking back (here\u2019s what I think) and an element looking forward (here\u2019s what you should do).\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-08-04T16:44:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-08-09T19:26:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/colleagues-workplace-office-feedback-meeting-lesson-manager.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"The 2 Elements of Feedback and How to Deliver Them\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-08-04T16:44:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-08-09T19:26:42+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/\"},\"wordCount\":1191,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/colleagues-workplace-office-feedback-meeting-lesson-manager.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Thanks for the Feedback\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Management\",\"Work\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/elements-of-feedback\/\",\"name\":\"The 2 Elements of Feedback and How to Deliver Them - 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