{"id":446,"date":"2019-06-28T22:04:01","date_gmt":"2019-06-29T02:04:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=446"},"modified":"2021-11-11T13:40:47","modified_gmt":"2021-11-11T17:40:47","slug":"obliger-tendency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/obliger-tendency\/","title":{"rendered":"The Obliger Tendency (From The Four Tendencies)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is the Obliger tendency from Gretchen Rubin’s The Four Tendencies<\/em> like? How do they behave, and what’s the Obliger Personality? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Out of Gretchen Rubin’s four tendencies<\/a>, the obliger tendency makes up the majority of people. Their flaw is that they are more focused on living up to the expectations of others, but don’t focus on their own goals. Their biggest strength is that others know they can rely on them, so they make great leaders and team members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn more about the obliger tendency from The Four Tendencies.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Overview<\/strong> of the Obliger Tendency<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Obligers readily respond to external expectations, but not internal expectations. <\/strong>They meet deadlines and follow through for bosses, colleagues, spouses, and so on\u2014but don\u2019t follow through on things they want to do for themselves. If there are no external expectations, Obligers almost always fail to complete the task, no matter how important it is to them. <\/strong>Obligers have to learn how to create outside accountability that works for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People with the Obliger Tendency make up the largest tendency, for both men and women. Furthermore, Obligers are most likely to wish they were a different tendency.<\/strong> Rubin suggests this might be because the other tendencies cause others frustration but are generally satisfied with themselves, whereas Obligers cause themselves frustration: they beat themselves up about meeting others\u2019 expectations but not their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Gretchen Rubin, Obligers often frequently misdiagnose their issues, as well<\/strong>: because they can meet external expectations easily, they assume that laziness or self-sacrifice causes them not to meet their own internal expectations. And it doesn\u2019t help that other tendencies, who have an easier time doing what they want to do and resisting the expectations of others, tend to judge Obligers for their incapability to meet internal expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People with the Obliger Tendency have the most to gain from learning about their tendency and using it to their advantage. <\/strong>Once they can figure out how to create external accountability that works for them, they will find it much easier to start to do things for themselves and build a happier life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strengths of Obligers<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Obligers are the \u201crock of the world\u201d \u2014everyone can depend on them. <\/strong>They\u2019re most likely to contribute to home and work, aiming to keep their spouses, children, colleagues, and bosses happy and fulfilled. They make great leaders, team members, family, and friends because of their reliability and dedication to others. Out of all the tendencies, they usually get along with other tendencies the best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When external expectations align with their internal expectations, they get to live their best lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They do well in almost any career, as long as it has external expectations, and do particularly well in some careers that require employees to continually go above and beyond, such as corporate law, social work, medicine, tech startups, and wealth management.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some other positive ways to describe Obligers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n