{"id":44188,"date":"2021-07-30T10:42:00","date_gmt":"2021-07-30T14:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=44188"},"modified":"2021-08-08T19:55:07","modified_gmt":"2021-08-08T23:55:07","slug":"the-power-of-vulnerability-ted-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-power-of-vulnerability-ted-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brown: The Power of Vulnerability TED Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Looking for the key parts of Bren\u00e9 Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability <\/em>TED Talk? What can you learn from Bren\u00e9 Brown about vulnerability, shame, and wholehearted living<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Bren\u00e9 Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability <\/em>TED Talk, she discusses the fact that people today are more lonely, more obese, and more addicted than ever before. In her TED Talk, Brown breaks down the various aspects of shame, addresses the importance of vulnerability, and teaches how to live wholeheartedly<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading for an overview of The Power of Vulnerability. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Power of Vulnerability <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Many of us don\u2019t want to discuss shame or vulnerability. <\/strong>To deal with our problems, we want positive, straightforward \u201chow-to\u201d explanations that allow us to avoid vulnerability and that offer happiness, beauty, or joy. However, \u201chow-to\u201d explanations don\u2019t work because they don\u2019t address the causes of negative emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, today, people are lonelier, more obese, and more addicted than ever before because they opt to distract or numb themselves rather than address their insecurities or shame.<\/strong> For example, rather than dealing with the cause of their depression, many develop addictions to prescription drugs to \u201cescape\u201d their emotional trauma. Bren\u00e9 Brown goes over all of these topics in her The Power of Vulnerability <\/em>TED Talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Is Scarcity Culture?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Our tendency toward numbing behaviors is the result of scarcity culture. Scarcity culture operates under the belief that we\u2019re never \u201cenough.\u201d<\/strong> For example, when things go wrong, we often tell ourselves we\u2019re not wealthy enough, strong enough, or happy enough. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This fear drives modern culture, infecting everything from political campaigns to the college admission process. For example, political candidates often offer dystopian views of the future under their opponent, stoking the fears of their base. Similarly, high school counselors often offer dystopian views of the future if students don\u2019t get into the \u201cbest\u201d college, stoking the fears of teenagers and their parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wholehearted Living<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Scarcity culture can be subverted by wholehearted living.<\/strong> You can achieve wholehearted living by embracing vulnerability and accepting that you are worthy of love and belonging. Most people aren\u2019t raised in a wholehearted way, leaving most to work toward the lifestyle on their own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because shame and scarcity culture have many ways of developing, wholehearted living requires constant reflection and self-care.<\/strong> Knowing yourself gives you insight, but actively taking care of yourself builds your self-worth. There are three aspects to wholehearted living: love, belonging, and vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love <\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Love is a deep connection that operates on respect, affection, and kindness. <\/strong>It isn\u2019t something that you can simply offer or receive, but requires cultivation and growth over time. You can only love someone else as much as you love yourself. If you don\u2019t believe that you\u2019re loveable, you will put up walls that will prevent others from developing sincere relationships with you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Belonging<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Belonging is our intrinsic desire to be a part of something larger than ourselves.<\/strong> Often, we try to change our behavior to fit in based on other people\u2019s expectations. However, this behavior is unfulfilling and creates more barriers to true<\/em> belonging. True belonging requires that you share your authentic self with the world to connect with other people, linking your sense of belonging<\/a> to self-acceptance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vulnerability<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Vulnerability is the willingness to show up and share your authentic self while knowing that you have no control over the outcome of your interactions.<\/strong> Vulnerability removes defensiveness, promotes empathy, and bolsters creativity. Many associate vulnerability with weakness and push people away out of fear of rejection or ridicule. However, you can\u2019t experience wholeheartedness without it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shame and Empathy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Shame is insecurity that attaches to self-identity and gets in the way of action or vulnerability.<\/strong> It causes people to believe that they\u2019re unworthy or unloveable. For example, if you feel shame about the way you look, and someone rejects you romantically, you may believe that you\u2019re not \u201cattractive enough,\u201d diminishing your self-worth in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shame relies on people believing that their experience with insecurity is unrelatable, creating a sense of loneliness. Though shame feels isolating, everyone experiences it<\/strong> (with the exception of severe psychopaths). While no one wants<\/em> to share their insecurities, talking about shame is the only way to diminish its power because, once you know that you\u2019re not alone, shame loses its leverage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Common Sources of Shame<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Shame often develops in childhood and lingers throughout adulthood.<\/strong> The roots of shame are often built at home or at school and are frequently a result of interactions with authority figures such as teachers or parents. For example, if a teacher calls a student \u201cstupid\u201d in front of the class for forgetting to put their name on their paper, that student may develop shame around their intelligence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to teachers and parents, negative interactions with siblings often cause shame. Siblings know each other\u2019s triggers and often abuse that knowledge through name-calling, physical abuse, and other cruel practices. These may occur during fights and are usually outlets for unrelated anger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shame Triggers <\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Shame triggers<\/a> are topics that evoke emotional responses based on your insecurities. <\/strong>These triggers are often developed in childhood but carry on into adulthood. For example, if you were raised to believe that laziness is unacceptable, you may view taking breaks or getting sick as unacceptable because they keep you from working. This may cause you to make unhealthy decisions and overwork yourself to avoid your shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Handling Shame<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, shame is a part of life. There isn\u2019t a way to eradicate it, but you can deal with it healthily: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, understand that self-worth has no prerequisites.<\/strong> You don\u2019t have to do anything to be \u201cworthy\u201d of love and belonging. If you feel you have to prove yourself, you\u2019re allowing your shame to dictate your behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, when bad things happen, don\u2019t allow them to dictate your self-worth.<\/strong> Don\u2019t allow your guilt or humiliation to turn into shame. Instead of saying, \u201cI\u2019m a bad person,\u201d tell yourself, \u201cI made a bad decision, and I\u2019m working to fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, accountability is important, but never at the cost of shaming. <\/strong>This applies to how you treat yourself as well as how you treat others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fourth, practice shame resilience<\/a>. <\/strong>Shame resilience is the ability to recognize and discuss shame. There are four keys to shame resilience:<\/p>\n\n\n\n