{"id":43439,"date":"2021-07-22T10:13:43","date_gmt":"2021-07-22T14:13:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=43439"},"modified":"2021-08-03T17:12:25","modified_gmt":"2021-08-03T21:12:25","slug":"tony-robbins-values","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/tony-robbins-values\/","title":{"rendered":"Tony Robbins: Values and Why They Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What does Tony Robbins say about values? How can understanding your values change your mindset<\/a> for the better?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Tony Robbins, values can dictate every evaluation and decision you make. When you\u2019re clear on your values, they act as your compass, guiding you unequivocally toward any action that upholds them. As argued by Tony Robbins, values that are understood fully can lead to happiness, empowerment, and fulfillment.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find out more about Tony Robbins\u2019 value theory below.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Tony Robbins: Values for Empowerment<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In this article, we\u2019ll discuss Tony Robbin\u2019s values theory and how changing your values changes your life. According to Tony Robbins, values dictate your evaluations, decisions, and actions, which create your destiny. Knowing <\/em>and also living by <\/em>your values brings deep fulfillment, inner peace, certainty, and joy.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re clear on your values, they act as your compass. By contrast, if you\u2019re unclear on your values or if you have conflicting values, it can cause enduring unhappiness and frustration. For example, if your highest value is independence<\/a> and your second-highest value is intimacy, you may frequently struggle in relationships between wanting to connect and yearning to be untethered. Furthermore, if you haven\u2019t identified and committed to your values at all<\/em>, you may sometimes act in ways that don\u2019t align with them, bringing you further unhappiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’ll explore how to identify your values<\/a>, recognize how they\u2019ve shaped your life, and alter them to support the life you want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Are Your Values?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Before we talk about how to identify your values, let\u2019s explain why you probably don\u2019t know exactly what your values are, despite their impact on your life. For Tony Robbins, values are somewhat difficult to identify. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In short, you may not be aware of what your values are because you didn\u2019t consciously choose them: They developed largely without your awareness or input. <\/strong>You adopted your values through life experiences and conditioning from your parents, teachers, friends, culture, and other external forces. When your actions aligned with their values, you were rewarded with social approval, encouragement, or other forms of reinforcement. But when your actions went against their values, you were punished, excluded, or ignored. You also may have picked up values from your role models<\/a> and from the media.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t know your values, then you don\u2019t have a compass to guide you to the future you<\/a> want, which leads to disappointment, frustration, and the sense that you could be getting more from life. Furthermore, not knowing your values means you can\u2019t set goals that help you live up to those values. People in this situation often try to fill the void created by that uncertainty with self-destructive habits such as drinking, smoking, using drugs, and overeating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Later in this chapter, you\u2019ll have a chance to reflect on what your values actually are. As you reflect on this, it\u2019s important to understand that there are two types of values: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Ends <\/em><\/strong>are the emotional states you want to experience<\/strong>, such as love, happiness, and security. These are the values that make life fulfilling. <\/li>
  2. Means <\/em><\/strong>are the ways you expect to reach the ends\u2014<\/strong>for example, you may value family because it\u2019s a means to love and happiness<\/a>. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Distinguish between your values that are means and those that are ends to avoid pursuing values that are merely means without ever achieving their ends. For example, you may value owning your own business because you see it as a way to set your own schedule, enjoy more freedom, and have more time to spend with your family, so you set and achieve a goal to launch a startup. However, as your company grows, your responsibilities expand and you end up with less freedom and less time for your family. If you focus only on your means<\/em>\u2014the business\u2014and forget about your ends\u2014<\/em>freedom and family time\u2014you could reach your means while ending up further from your ends, leaving you unfulfilled. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Recognize Your Value Hierarchy <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Although all of your values are important to you, some are more important than others, creating a value hierarchy. Your hierarchy determines how you make decisions\u2014the values that are highest in your hierarchy will determine your decision, outweighing lower-priority values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    When you are clear on your value hierarchy, you can improve your life by deciding to actively pursue the values that mean the most to you and will bring you the most fulfillment.<\/strong> For example, if you are offered a great promotion at work but it would require you to move overseas, you must determine whether you value success above connection with family and friends, or adventure over comfort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    You actually have not one, but two <\/em>value hierarchies that guide what you do and don\u2019t do: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Your hierarchy of \u201cmoving-toward values\u201d ranks the values that bring you pleasure<\/strong>, such as love, power, and freedom. The values at the top of this hierarchy are those that you would do almost anything to fulfill. <\/li>
    2. Your hierarchy of \u201cmoving-away-from values\u201d ranks the values that you want to avoid because they bring you pain<\/strong>, such as confrontation, fear, rejection, and loneliness. The values at the top of this hierarchy are those that you would do almost anything to avoid. For example, if your coworkers invite you to karaoke, you may not want to go because you want to avoid the humiliation of singing<\/a> in front of everyone, but you may go anyway because your fear of social rejection is greater than your fear of humiliation, and you don\u2019t want your coworkers to reject you if you pass on their invitation.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Beware That Your Hierarchies Can Cause Conflicts<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

      Knowing your hierarchy of values is critical not only because it guides you to pursue only the most meaningful values to you, but also because it gives you the insight to see when your hierarchy is creating challenges in your life. This can happen in one of two ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. If you have conflicting moving-toward values that are ranked next to each other, you\u2019ll face frequent dilemmas and dissatisfaction.<\/strong> For example, imagine that passion is your highest priority value and comfort is your second-highest. For the last 10 years, you\u2019ve had the same job\u2014it\u2019s stable, comfortable, and familiar, but you\u2019re not passionate about the work. You have a constant, nagging urge to make a career change to pursue your passion<\/a>, but the risks and discomfort are too great, so you live in limbo. Many people go through life like this, but a simple reordering of priorities could resolve it (we\u2019ll explain how to reprioritize your values next). <\/li>
      2. When your top moving-toward value and your top moving-away-from value conflict, you\u2019ll end up in a cycle of self-sabotage. <\/strong>For example, if you want intimacy above all else but you also want to avoid rejection more than anything, you probably crave relationships but tend to sabotage them before you get close enough to risk rejection. Furthermore, as we discussed in Part 1, pain avoidance is a stronger motivator than pleasure-seeking, which means that your desire for intimacy will never outweigh your fear of rejection. This kind of conflict can plague your life, unless you reprioritize your values.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Apply It: Customize Your Values<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

        Now that you know the role your values can play in shaping your decisions and your destiny, harness that power by taking stock of your values and adjusting them to guide you to the life you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        First, become aware of how you currently prioritize your <\/strong>moving-toward<\/em><\/strong> values. <\/strong>There are countless values that you could hold and adopt, but, to get started, rank the following values in order of priority: <\/p>\n\n\n\n