{"id":41757,"date":"2021-07-21T07:45:00","date_gmt":"2021-07-21T11:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=41757"},"modified":"2021-07-26T11:42:25","modified_gmt":"2021-07-26T15:42:25","slug":"release-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/release-trauma\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Release Trauma: Forgiveness Is the Key"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How do you cope with trauma? Do you tend to bury it with distractions or do you ruminate on the pain? What&#8217;s a healthy way to release trauma?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you experience something painful, but don\u2019t process it, it diminishes your ability to take on similar or new challenges. That&#8217;s why it&#8217;s important to put the pain beyond you the sooner the better. Forgiveness is the key to doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this article, you\u2019ll learn how to recognize when you\u2019re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/holding-yourself-back\/\">holding yourself back<\/a> and learn two techniques to overcome past hurts and pains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Negative Emotions Are Poisonous<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Negative emotions like anger or resentment rob you of energy that you could use toward more positive outcomes like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/steps-to-achieve-your-goals\/\">achieving your goals<\/a>. For example, if you\u2019re trying to work on a project but can\u2019t stop thinking about that mean comment your friend made about you, you won\u2019t move as quickly or accomplish as much. From a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manifesting-money-the-secret\/\">Law of Attraction<\/a> perspective, whatever emotion you\u2019re releasing into the universe is what you attract\u2014if you harbor anger and resentment, you\u2019ll attract more of it into your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Forgiveness is the key to breaking this cycle.<\/strong> It helps you express your emotions and release trauma. For example, forgiving a business partner who stole money from you allows you to acknowledge your resentment and put the past behind you so you can focus on the present. This doesn\u2019t mean what the person did is acceptable or that you should trust them, just that you acknowledge what they did so <em>you<\/em> can move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Recovering from Physical and Mental Trauma: Phan Thi Kim Phuc\u2019s Story<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In the midst of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/tim-obrien-vietnam\/\">Vietnam War<\/a>, a photographer snapped a photo of a screaming young Vietnamese girl, Phan Thi Kim Phuc, running naked down the road. She was in excruciating pain because her village was bombed with napalm, a chemical agent, which had given her third-degree burns on over half of her body. After treatment and surgeries, she survived, became a Canadian citizen, underwent a forgiveness process, and founded an organization to help victims of war. People remark that she is amazingly calm and forgiving given her experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Technique #1: The \u201cTotal Truth\u201d Process<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When someone upsets you, you may experience anger at that person, but you may not fully express to them how you feel. <strong>When you don\u2019t express how you feel, it can fester inside you as resentment, making it difficult to have a productive relationship with that person.<\/strong> Plus, hanging on to negative emotions hampers you from feeling happy, which is where joy, creativity, and inspiration come from. To restore your relationship, express your emotions fully: The Total Truth Process is one way to do this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Total Truth Process means expressing your emotions equally in six different stages, beginning with the negative and transitioning into expressing gratitude and love. This sequence helps you address your emotional distress and truly forgive someone who has wronged you. However, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re trying to change the person. You can do this verbally, or in writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, make a list of every person who has wronged you and how. Use this template:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(PERSON\u2019S NAME) hurt me by (BLANK). Then, go through the total truth process with each person using either of the following options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Option #1: Verbal<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>1.<strong> Identify the person you need to talk to.<\/strong> Ask their permission to tell them what\u2019s on your mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2. <strong>When you meet with the person, discuss each category of emotions, giving equal time to each. <\/strong>Here are the categories, along with prompts to get your ideas flowing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Anger and resentment. <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m angry that\u2026\u201d \u201cI hate it when\u2026\u201d \u201cI resent that\u2026\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Hurt. <\/strong>\u201cIt hurt me when\u2026\u201d \u201cI felt sad when\u2026\u201d \u201cI feel disappointed about\u2026\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Fear. <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m afraid of you when\u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019m afraid that I\u2026\u201d \u201cI was afraid when\u2026\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Regret, Remorse, and Accountability. <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry that\u2026\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to\u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry for\u2026\u201d&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Wants. <\/strong>\u201cI want(ed)&#8230;\u201d \u201cI deserve\u2026\u201d \u201cI want you to\u2026\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Compassion, Appreciation, Forgiveness, Love. <\/strong>\u201cI understand that\u2026\u201d \u201cI appreciate\u2026\u201d \u201cI forgive you for&#8230;\u201c \u201cThank you for\u2026\u201d In this section, you\u2019re recognizing that the person did the best that they could with the resources and knowledge they had at the time, and you\u2019re forgiving them so you can move forward.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Option #2: Written<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This option works well in the following situations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>You want to write your thoughts down first.<\/li><li>You don\u2019t feel comfortable talking to the person face-to-face.<\/li><li>The other person won\u2019t or can\u2019t participate in a conversation.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are the steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Write a letter that dedicates equal parts to each of the emotional categories from Option 1.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>If the person is willing to participate, have them write you a letter, too. <\/strong>Arrange a time to meet and swap your letters. Read them together, then discuss the experience. As you discuss it, try not to defend what you\u2019ve said. Instead, focus on what the other person has to say.<\/li><li><strong>If the person isn\u2019t willing or can\u2019t participate, write your letter, then toss it. <\/strong>The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/core-message\/\">main point<\/a> is for you to express your emotions, so just getting them on paper can be useful.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Technique #2: Tapping Therapy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Tapping therapy is another way to address past wrongs, as well as fears and phobias. For centuries, healing in Eastern cultures has addressed energy flow through different parts of the body, or meridians. Sometimes, chronic pain is thought to be a result of previous emotional distress that is held in certain parts of the body. Based on these ideas, clinical psychologist Roger Callahan developed tapping therapy to release pain from different areas of the body and to get over fears and other negative emotions that hold you back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are the steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1.<strong> Close your eyes and think of a fear or emotion you\u2019d like to rid yourself of. <\/strong>Assess how strong it is on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the strongest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2.<strong> Think of the feeling as you tap the heel of your hand (the area near your wrist) 10 times. <\/strong>Tap firmly enough to feel it without hurting your hand. Phrase your thoughts in a way that connects them with the emotion they bring out. For example: \u201cEven though I\u2019m scared to lead the meeting at work tomorrow, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3.<strong> Tap these other points on your body while thinking of the emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Top of the head<\/li><li>Eyebrow<\/li><li>To the right or left of your eye<\/li><li>Underneath the eye<\/li><li>Underneath the nose<\/li><li>Chin<\/li><li>Collarbone on each side<\/li><li>Underneath one arm<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Tap each point firmly five to seven times while thinking variations of the first phrase you used. For example, while tapping the top of the head, you might say, \u201cI\u2019m afraid people will be bored during the meeting.\u201d As you move to the eyebrow, you might say, \u201cI\u2019m afraid no one will want to do the ice breaker.\u201d The exact words don\u2019t matter as long as you\u2019re focused on your emotions every step of the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>4. <strong>Repeat the sequence from the top of the head down<\/strong>, saying the phrase in your head until the intensity of the feeling dissipates or to a level one or disappears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Tapping Therapy Works: Kelly Ripa\u2019s Story<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>After witnessing the 9\/11 terrorist attacks, actress and television host Kelly Ripa was afraid to fly. When she got a call asking her to record an episode of her television show at Disneyland requiring her to fly, she called Roger Callahan for help. Callahan led Ripa through tapping therapy over the phone and she was able to take her five-hour flight without trouble. She invited Callahan to join her at Disneyland and give tapping therapy to people who were afraid to ride rollercoasters. Seventeen participants underwent tapping therapy and were able to ride a rollercoaster, with most saying they\u2019d like to go again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you cope with trauma? Do you tend to bury it with distractions or do you ruminate on the pain? What&#8217;s a healthy way to release trauma? When you experience something painful, but don\u2019t process it, it diminishes your ability to take on similar or new challenges. That&#8217;s why it&#8217;s important to put the pain beyond you the sooner the better. Forgiveness is the key to doing so. In this article, you\u2019ll learn how to recognize when you\u2019re holding yourself back and learn two techniques to overcome past hurts and pains.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":20884,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43,6],"tags":[423],"class_list":["post-41757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","category-spiritual","tag-the-success-principles","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Release Trauma: Forgiveness Is the Key - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When you experience something painful, it&#039;s best to release the trauma the sooner the better. 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