{"id":41444,"date":"2021-07-09T06:59:29","date_gmt":"2021-07-09T10:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=41444"},"modified":"2026-01-22T15:00:11","modified_gmt":"2026-01-22T19:00:11","slug":"daniel-pink-to-sell-is-human","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/daniel-pink-to-sell-is-human\/","title":{"rendered":"Daniel Pink’s To Sell Is Human: Book Overview & Takeaways"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Think selling is just for salespeople? Think again. Daniel Pink’s To Sell Is Human<\/em> flips that assumption on its head. Whether you’re pitching an idea<\/a> to your boss, convincing your kid to eat vegetables, or actually selling a product, you’re using sales skills every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his book, Pink shows us that the old-school “always be closing” mentality is dead. Today’s world demands something different: connection, optimism, and a genuine focus on serving others<\/a>. Read on to discover how to master the art of moving people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Overview of To Sell Is Human<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Selling is an intrinsically human skill that has evolved with us over time. In his book To Sell Is Human<\/em>, Daniel Pink explores how deeply embedded this skill is in our lives and shows you how to harness it as a tool for achieving results in sales, as well as other areas of life. Our overview supports, contrasts, and simplifies Pink\u2019s ideas so you can put them into action in your own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone\u2019s a Salesperson<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Despite sales traditionally being a specialized skill set, Pink argues that the modern workplace managed to transform us all into \u201csellers.\u201d Workers now generally find themselves needing to use sales skills to \u201cmove\u201d their target demographic, whether or not they are selling a material product. Thus, Pink introduces a new term: non-sales selling (or contemporary selling). Contemporary selling<\/em> is about moving others to exchange resources that can include but do not revolve around money. Haggling over a product price, asking someone on a date, and interviewing for a job all use contemporary selling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Did We All Become Salespeople?<\/strong>

The idea that selling is inherent in the human experience isn\u2019t new. As far back as the 1800s, Scottish novelist Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, \u201cEveryone lives by selling something.\u201d<\/a> That said, the idea has taken hold more noticeably in the modern workplace for the practical and emotional reasons Pink has outlined. Whether you\u2019re persuading people to accept your ideas, your products, or you yourself, your ability to sell is both natural and necessary to get what you want out of your experience of life. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Traditional ABCs of Sales<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In Pink\u2019s view, sales has historically been seen as deceitful and manipulative, but the power balance has changed, and there are two primary sales philosophies now: <\/strong>The traditional philosophy of \u201cbuyer beware,\u201d or caveat emptor<\/a><\/em>, and the new philosophy of \u201cseller beware,\u201d or caveat venditor<\/em>. Caveat emptor doesn\u2019t require integrity, as its sole purpose is to benefit the seller. Caveat venditor is about the seller being of service to the buyer. Whereas before, integrity was the last value a salesperson operated from, being a successful salesperson now requires it. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Traditional Sales Philosophy<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The economy during the heyday of traditional sales<\/a> (the better half of the 1900s) was stable and predictable, and it prioritized consumerism. Pink explains that the traditional salesperson focused on a singular objective: making a profit. This is represented by the popular sales acronym \u201cABC\u201d: A<\/strong>lways B<\/strong>e C<\/strong>losing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This philosophy meant that the traditional salesperson didn\u2019t have to care about the needs of the buyer, as long as they made their sale. It encouraged sellers to use any means necessary to exploit buyers, which consequently created a negative view of salespeople.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, suppose you were a traditional car salesperson. To make the best possible profit, you\u2019d misrepresent the quality of your vehicles and charge more than they were worth. You were willing to take advantage of the buyer in order to make the sale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Where did the ABC mantra come from? In 1992, Alec Baldwin played a salesman in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross<\/em> (originally an award-winning play by David Mamet) and popularized the phrase \u201cA-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing!\u201d<\/a> Baldwin\u2019s character was the epitome of the \u201cpushy salesman,\u201d single-mindedly focused on making the sale, whether or not it benefited the buyer.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Changed?<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Two factors initiated the decline of traditional sales.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Change #1: Economic Disruption<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

The economy, previously predictable, became unstable in the Great Recession, which soon transformed the workforce. It forced workers to broaden their skill sets to help companies cut costs. Skill sets like sales, which had previously been specializations, became basic necessities for everyone in order to increase efficiency in organizations. The economic instability also inspired a wave of entrepreneurs. Self-starters often need to wear many hats, which contributed to the need for flexible skill sets including sales. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: As sales skills have become more critical for workers, so have interpersonal or \u201csoft\u201d skills, which are closely related: To sell, you need to be able to relate to people. So it’s not surprising that both skill types are in increasing demand in response to the changing economy. Specifically, soft skills include social skills, emotional intelligence, time management, and handling conflict effectively.<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Change #2: Technology Boom<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Pink explains that sales previously depended on a power imbalance<\/a> between buyer and seller. Pre-technology, the sellers had all the important information, and the buyers had none. This gave the power to the sellers and allowed them to prioritize their own success over the needs of the buyer to turn a profit. With the internet giving everyone access to the same information, sellers were forced to shift their focus from profit to serving the buyer\u2019s needs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: It might be tempting to argue that entrepreneurs are more visionaries than salespeople, but as Pink notes, entrepreneurs tend to wear all the hats, requiring a more diverse skill set to ensure business success. The majority of these skills involve sales because you need to be able to sell your brand and the uniqueness and usefulness of your product<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Modern ABCs of Sales<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The economic and technological changes gave rise to a new philosophy of selling that replaces the old ABCs, according to Pink. In contrast to the seller making a profit, the new method is aimed at meeting the buyer\u2019s needs with three approaches: connection, optimism, and focus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contemporary Selling Step 1: Connection <\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Pink defines connection as getting in sync with and adapting to people, communities, and contexts in order to serve their needs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: While empathy and connection are frequently used interchangeably, connection goes beyond empathy. In the context of sales, empathy is about having the ability to understand what a buyer needs or a problem they need solved<\/a>, building trust, and creating connection; in the context of sales, connection allows you to look at the world through the eyes of the buyer,<\/a> and try on their perspective to understand their needs.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pink suggests three techniques for practicing connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Technique #1: Mimicking<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

He says mimicking builds trust between seller and buyer, because people trust others who share their mannerisms or subtly mirror them in other ways. For example, if you\u2019re a seller and notice that a buyer is physically expressive when they talk, you can use more physical gestures. This should help to create camaraderie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: While mimicry can create rapport, it can undermine it <\/strong>when done in inappropriate contexts or inappropriate ways. It can actually upset people, preventing positive rapport both consciously and subconsciously.<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Technique #2: Perspective Taking<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Pink\u2019s second way of connecting is to develop a deeper understanding<\/a> of the buyer and the context of their needs by putting yourself in their shoes. You can use your imagination to consider the buyer\u2019s bigger picture and see needs to serve that you would have missed with a focus on your own perspective or experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, say you\u2019re selling a car to a buyer. They\u2019re a new driver, and they\u2019re looking at trucks, initially. You notice they\u2019re a fairly small person, and considering that factor along with the new driver status, you suggest a line of smaller sports cars. You think the cars will be easier to handle for a new driver, especially one who is on the smaller side. The customer buys a cool, safe sports car. They say it\u2019s a perfect fit, and they\u2019re glad they didn\u2019t go with one of the trucks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: To consider someone else\u2019s perspective<\/a>, 1) identify your own perspective (what is the conflict about, how do I feel about it, and how will I respond?); 2) explore the other person\u2019s perspective (how does she see the conflict, how might she feel about it, and what are her motivations?); and 3) reflect on your original perspective, noting whether it\u2019s changed.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Technique #3: Power Shifting<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Pink\u2019s third technique for connection is to treat the buyer like they\u2019re the ones with the power. This creates a dynamic of service, where you can focus on meeting their needs instead of your own interests. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, when you are selling to someone, consider sitting at an equal level with them and asking, \u201cWhat are you looking for, and how can I help?\u201d This physically puts you on an even playing field, and the question sets you up for a dynamic of service.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Keep in mind that while power makes you more productive, it also makes you less empathetic<\/a>: You don\u2019t care as much about getting along with others and you\u2019re more focused on your own needs than the needs of others. <\/strong>This underscores Pink\u2019s advice to mentally shift power to the buyer to create a service dynamic in sales.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contemporary Selling Step 2: Optimism<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The second component of Pink\u2019s modern sales<\/a> method is optimism. Optimism is crucial because it helps you develop resilience<\/a>. Selling involves hearing the word no more often than yes, so you need to believe in what you\u2019re selling enough to see a transaction through, even when a buyer initially resists buying (or to move on to the next customer if they refuse to buy). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, say you\u2019re a door-to-door salesman, and you manage to get into conversation with a potential buyer. The prospect hasn\u2019t closed the door in your face yet but seems to be rejecting everything you have to say. With an optimistic attitude, you can stay positive about the outcome and show the buyer how much you believe in your product or service. Even if the buyer ultimately doesn\u2019t purchase, you develop the resilience to approach the next potential buyer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Power of Optimism<\/strong>

Beyond simply boosting your morale, optimism significantly increases your ability to sell<\/a>. In one study, MetLife, which hired thousands of salespeople per year, gave their new hires both an \u201coptimism test\u201d and a sales aptitude test. In the first year, new hires who passed both tests achieved an 8% higher success rate than those who only passed the aptitude test. By the second year, this percentage increased to 31%. Even more importantly, those who scored high on the optimism test but low on the aptitude test achieved a 21% higher success rate in their first year than those who passed just the aptitude test, and by their second year, this rate jumped to 57%. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Pink recommends building optimism into three stages of the sales process: your preparation, your handling of the sales conversation, and your evaluation afterward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prepare: Question Yourself<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

To prepare for a sales interaction, Pink advises asking yourself targeted, positive questions that help you focus on your sales goals. This boosts your confidence and motivation, and done consistently, it leads to better long-term results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, before a potential sale, ask yourself, \u201cHow can I best be of service to this buyer?\u201d Or, \u201cHow can I show the buyer this purchase is worth it?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Sales experts note that when you use interrogative self-talk to prepare for a sales interaction, it\u2019s important to focus your questions within categories that sharpen your understanding of your buyer\u2019s specific needs.<\/a> The goal is to know exactly who you are, who your buyer is, and what value you bring to the transaction. This builds both confidence and optimism.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maintain: Communicate Positivity<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

After building optimism into your preparations, the next step is to maintain it during the sales process. It\u2019s important to create a positive environment during a sale, both internally (for the seller), and externally (for the buyer). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research indicates that there is a \u201cgolden ratio\u201d of positive to negative experience. When you experience three positive sensations to one negative sensation, your well-being improves. When you experience 11 positive sensations to one negative sensation, your well-being decreases<\/em>. A healthy ratio of positive to negative sensations makes the buyer more receptive, and more likely to take positive action (like make a purchase). Additionally, as a seller, when you feel positively about your product, as well as the sales process, you can more easily connect with the buyer. This increases buyer trust. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Put this information into practice by creating a friendly atmosphere, communicating positive information with a minimum 3 to 1 (and maximum 11 to 1) ratio to negative information, and speaking with conviction about what you are selling. For example, if you\u2019re selling a car, share a number of positive aspects of the car, and then throw in a negative. Smile often, and speak highly of the across-the-board quality of the cars you sell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: While there is little doubt that positive experiences improve well-being, there is<\/em> doubt about the legitimacy of the golden ratio rule. According to some researchers, there is no scientific evidence that the mathematical formula the golden ratio theory is based on can be applied to feelings and well-being.<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evaluate: Reflect With Optimism<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

After you complete a sales interaction, reflect on what went well. Studies show that the way we describe an experience after the fact influences how we feel about it. To reflect positively, Pink recommends starting with these three assumptions when describing a sales experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n