{"id":39549,"date":"2021-06-13T09:12:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-13T13:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=39549"},"modified":"2021-06-22T11:45:17","modified_gmt":"2021-06-22T15:45:17","slug":"anatomy-of-peace-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/anatomy-of-peace-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Anatomy of Peace: Quotes by the Arbinger Institute"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you looking for The Anatomy of Peace<\/a><\/em> quotes by the Arbinger Institute? What are some of the most noteworthy passages worth revisiting?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In The Anatomy of Peace, <\/em>the Arbinger Institute offers an outward-focused perspective on interpersonal conflict<\/a>. Conflicts, the Institute explains, arise when a lifetime of self-deception\u2014of mentally re-framing events until they justify our actions\u2014leads to a twisted worldview in which we see others as obstacles, rather than people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some quotes and passages highlighting the book’s key concepts and ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Anatomy of Peace<\/em>: Quotes and Passages<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In The Anatomy of Peace,<\/em> the Arbinger Institute\u2014a leading consultant in conflict resolution<\/a>, mindset change, and leadership training since 1979\u2014discusses how we perpetuate conflict by misunderstanding its cause and acting inappropriately as a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By detailing the mechanics of the conflict mindset, the Institute shows us how we make conflict worse, how we invite the mistreatment we desire an end to, and how we blind ourselves to the true causes of our interpersonal problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following The Anatomy of Peace <\/em>quotes highlight some of the key teachings from the Arbinger Institute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c…no conflict can be solved so long as all parties are convinced they are right. Solution is possible only when at least one party begins to consider how he might be wrong.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to handling conflict<\/a>, it doesn’t so much matter if you are right or wrong. You can be right in principle, the Institute says, but if your mindset is wrong, it doesn\u2019t practically matter that your position is technically correct. Arbinger notes that while there may be a lot we disagree with others about, the way<\/em> we disagree affects how we see each other going forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMost problems in life are not solved merely by correction.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In conflict, we tend to focus our interactions with others on trying to get them to change by correcting their behavior, and that doesn\u2019t work. According to the Arbinger Institute, there are two main problems with trying to correct the people you\u2019re in conflict with:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. It\u2019s not helpful to correct someone who\u2019s upset with you because they don\u2019t want to listen. They\u2019ve already decided you\u2019re wrong, so even if you feel their reasons are foolish or invalid, arguing with them doesn\u2019t help. (Shortform note: Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People,<\/em> notes that criticizing others makes them defensive and prone to rationalizing their actions<\/a>. Carnegie recommends using praise and appreciation when suggesting change.)<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    You\u2019re trying to correct things that have already<\/em> gone wrong instead of being proactive and preventing them from going wrong in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cIn every moment…we choose to see others either as people like ourselves or as objects. They either count like we do or they don’t.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    It\u2019s impossible for us to resolve a conflict if we\u2019re not seeing others as people. This is the core issue<\/a> of the combative mindset, according to Arbinger: We know<\/em> people aren\u2019t objects, but we choose to treat them as objects anyway. We lie to ourselves and ignore the truth of the situation. The Institute tells us that this mindset is a result of self-betrayal<\/a>. Understanding self-betrayal helps us identify the ways in which we<\/em> are feeding our conflicts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cThe way we can know if we\u2019ve betrayed ourselves is by whether we are still desiring to be helpful.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    Arbinger explains that the concept of self-betrayal relies on understanding that humans have certain innate desires. Evolutionary scientists often argue that the success of our species is largely the result of a desire to help, protect, and care for one another. According to Arbinger, when we choose to behave in a way that doesn\u2019t align with this desire, we self-betray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Generally, Arbinger says, we make the choice to betray ourselves because we think it\u2019ll cost us less time, energy, or effort\u2014or because we think honoring our desire to do the right thing will lead to some discomfort we\u2019d rather avoid. Maybe we choose not to help when we know we could, or we don\u2019t speak up for ourselves or others when we feel we should.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Are you looking for The Anatomy of Peace quotes by the Arbinger Institute? What are some of the most noteworthy passages worth revisiting? In The Anatomy of Peace, the Arbinger Institute offers an outward-focused perspective on interpersonal conflict. Conflicts, the Institute explains, arise when a lifetime of self-deception\u2014of mentally re-framing events until they justify our actions\u2014leads to a twisted worldview in which we see others as obstacles, rather than people. Here are some quotes and passages highlighting the book’s key concepts and ideas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":14748,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,34,9],"tags":[391],"class_list":["post-39549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-communication","category-psychology","tag-the-anatomy-of-peace","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Anatomy of Peace: Quotes by the Arbinger Institute - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you looking for The Anatomy of Peace quotes? 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