{"id":38827,"date":"2021-06-19T11:45:41","date_gmt":"2021-06-19T15:45:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=38827"},"modified":"2021-06-22T11:19:47","modified_gmt":"2021-06-22T15:19:47","slug":"inheritance-from-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"How an Inheritance From Your Parents Hurts You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How does inheritance from parents affect adult children? How do you teach your adult children <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/maturity-continuum-7-habits\/\">independence<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-financially-responsible\/\">financial responsibility<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Inheritance from parents makes less capable, unemployed children more dependent, while adult children that got no inheritance from parents are more likely to take risks and accumulate wealth. You can teach your children financial independence by teaching them the values of frugality, discipline, and independence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn how inheritance from parents affects adult children, and what parents can do about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why Unemployed Adult Children Get the Most Inheritance From Parents&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Most wealthy parents try to reduce their estate before they die to minimize the estate tax their heirs must pay<\/strong>. This requires deciding how to distribute their wealth among multiple children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When children are young, parents usually plan to divide the estate among them equally. But differences develop as children get older: some seem to need the inheritance from parents more than others, and so parents treat them differently when distributing wealth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research shows that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Unemployed adult daughters and adult sons get the most support and greatest share of the estate<\/strong>. Financially independent siblings get less.<\/li><li>The most successful adult children may get no inheritance from parents.<\/li><li><strong>Daughters who are stay-at-home wives get the most<\/strong>\u2014they\u2019re three times more likely than siblings to receive a larger inheritance.<\/li><li>In contrast, daughters who work full time are less likely to get cash gifts and inheritance than non-working sisters.<\/li><li>Working daughters are <em>still<\/em> more likely to get gifts and inheritance than brothers who are financially successful.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Unemployed Adult Daughters<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There are several reasons wealthy parents typically give more gifts and a greater inheritance to daughters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, they believe that due to social inequality, women have fewer income-building opportunities than men\u2014they earn less for doing the same work\u2014so wealthy parents compensate. They feel an obligation to provide for daughters and assure them they\u2019ll always have money. That may be part of the reason most daughters of wealthy parents don\u2019t have careers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Besides feeling an obligation to provide money of their own to non-working adult daughters, <strong>wealthy parents often don\u2019t fully trust sons-in-law to sustain the lifestyles their daughters are accustomed to<\/strong>. So they provide daughters with cash gifts, subsidies such as clothing allowances, and a large inheritance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Unemployed Adult Sons<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Like some daughters, unemployed adult sons tend to receive larger and more frequent gifts<\/strong> from wealthy parents than do their financially independent brothers. They\u2019re more than twice as likely to get large inheritances, including property.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This may be because they can\u2019t hold a steady job or they\u2019re professional students. They may live with their parents and serve as a handyman or assistant, or they live nearby. Their parents view them as needing more help than working siblings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Creating a Cycle of Dependency<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When millionaires have several children, the most financially successful child usually gets less of the parents\u2019 wealth than the non-working or least productive sibling<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As children grow, wealthy parents tend to support the less capable child, while letting the independent sibling take care of herself. While this encourages the independent sibling that gets no inheritance from parents, it increases the other\u2019s dependency. It\u2019s like when a child doesn\u2019t learn because a parent does his homework.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When these indulged and underachieving children become adults, they\u2019re dependent adults who need subsidies to maintain an expensive lifestyle. The parents hope their gifts will turn these children into financially stable adults, but it doesn\u2019t happen because they never learned discipline and resourcefulness as children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Wealth Distribution Tips<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some things wealthy parents can do to encourage independence and smooth the process of wealth distribution:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1) <strong>Don\u2019t tell children the family is wealthy<\/strong>. High-income extravagant parents emphasize income and consumption\u2014and their children become spenders rather than wealth accumulators. In contrast, frugal wealthy parents preach frugality and discipline, to the point that their children often don\u2019t realize their parents are wealthy until they\u2019ve <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/become-financially-independent\/\">become financially independent<\/a> adults themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2) <strong>Ensure your children don\u2019t realize you\u2019re wealthy until they\u2019ve learned a profession and established financial stability<\/strong>. Children shouldn\u2019t be thinking about getting your money until they\u2019ve proven they can earn and handle their own money responsibly. Some wealthy parents set up trust funds their adult children can\u2019t access until age 40, after they\u2019ve achieved their own career and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/achieving-financial-success\/\">financial success<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3) <strong>Teach children frugality and discipline by example<\/strong>\u2014make them live by the same rules as their parents do. When parents live frugally but indulge their children, the children learn to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/feeling-entitled\/\">feel entitled<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>4) <strong>Never talk about gifts or anything your children or grandchildren will inherit<\/strong>. Also, don\u2019t make verbal promises\u2014you may forget them, but your children won\u2019t, and they\u2019ll feel resentful or shortchanged later if they don\u2019t get what they expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>5) <strong>Don\u2019t use cash or gifts to negotiate with adult children.<\/strong> If they feel you\u2019re pressuring them to do what you want them to do, they\u2019ll feel resentful or lose respect for you. Only give gifts out of love or obligation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>6) <strong>Don\u2019t get involved in adult children\u2019s family issues<\/strong>\u2014or you\u2019ll create friction and show a lack of confidence in their capability.<strong> <\/strong>Seek permission before giving advice or gifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>7) <strong>Don\u2019t compare your achievements with your children\u2019s<\/strong>\u2014for instance, by stating, \u201cWhen I was your age\u2026\u201d They have their own goals, which are likely different from yours. Appreciate what they\u2019ve accomplished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>8) <strong>Honor adult children\u2019s achievements rather than their status symbols<\/strong>. Working should be about achievement, not sustaining a consumption-oriented lifestyle.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>9) <strong>Treat children as individuals<\/strong> who differ from each other in interests and accomplishments. Don\u2019t try to create income equality by supporting underachievers with gifts and subsidies\u2014this accentuates differences in wealth and creates resentment among siblings.10) <strong>Demonstrate by your example that there are more important things in life than money<\/strong>, such as health, happiness, family, reputation, and accomplishment. Money is a bonus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How does inheritance from parents affect adult children? How do you teach your adult children independence and financial responsibility? Inheritance from parents makes less capable, unemployed children more dependent, while adult children that got no inheritance from parents are more likely to take risks and accumulate wealth. You can teach your children financial independence by teaching them the values of frugality, discipline, and independence. Learn how inheritance from parents affects adult children, and what parents can do about it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":38829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,13],"tags":[379],"class_list":["post-38827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-money","category-parenting","tag-the-millionaire-next-door","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How an Inheritance From Your Parents Hurts You - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn how Inheritance from parents can be distributed to heirs without damaging the next generation and making them unwilling to work.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How an Inheritance From Your Parents Hurts You\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Learn how Inheritance from parents can be distributed to heirs without damaging the next generation and making them unwilling to work.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-06-19T15:45:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-06-22T15:19:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/inheritance-from-parents.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"675\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Joseph Adebisi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Joseph Adebisi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Joseph Adebisi\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/d8daf45671a09e8745a7a9f50a03b2a0\"},\"headline\":\"How an Inheritance From Your Parents Hurts You\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-06-19T15:45:41+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-06-22T15:19:47+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/\"},\"wordCount\":1010,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/inheritance-from-parents.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Millionaire Next Door\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Money\",\"Parenting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/inheritance-from-parents\/\",\"name\":\"How an Inheritance From Your Parents Hurts You - 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