{"id":38792,"date":"2021-06-02T14:40:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-02T18:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=38792"},"modified":"2021-06-16T19:26:26","modified_gmt":"2021-06-16T23:26:26","slug":"courage-compassion-connection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/courage-compassion-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"Courage, Compassion, and Connection\u2014The 3 Gifts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you want to know more about the three values from The Gifts of Imperfection? <\/em>Why does Bren\u00e9 Brown say courage, compassion, and connection are the gifts of imperfection?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, <\/em>Bren\u00e9 Brown says that the three gifts are courage, compassion, and connection. We could never reap the values of these gifts if we all lived ideal lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn why struggles and mistakes lead to huge benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Three Gifts of Imperfection<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s research in The Gifts of Imperfection <\/em>suggests that there are three key values that you need to practice to generate worthiness. These are courage<\/strong>, compassion<\/strong>, and connection<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Brown, these three values are the gifts of imperfection<\/strong>\u2014gifts that we only have access to because we\u2019re flawed. If we all lived ideal lives free from struggles and mistakes, we\u2019d never need to put these values into practice\u2014and we\u2019d never reap their benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The first value you need to practice to cultivate worthiness is courage. This doesn\u2019t necessarily mean heroic courage; for instance, the courage you show when you run into a burning building to save a child. Instead, it means ordinary courage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ordinary courage is being brave enough to honestly express who you are<\/a>, how you feel, and what you\u2019ve experienced.<\/strong> For example, it\u2019s having the courage to admit to your boss that you\u2019re struggling with your workload, or bravely telling a friend about a bad experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practicing ordinary courage requires vulnerability. <\/strong>You need to be willing to tell others all about your most painful inner feelings and experiences. You also need to present your true, flawed self to the world, rather than a \u201cperfect\u201d version of yourself. To do this, you need to stop caring about what others think<\/a>: to overcome your fears<\/a> about how people might react to your truth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Compassion<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The second value that you should practice to generate worthiness is compassion<\/strong>. Showing compassion means being kind to yourself<\/a> and others. It requires you to draw on your past experiences to express empathy<\/a> and understanding towards yourself or another person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Expressing empathy<\/a> for another person involves opening yourself up to the pain that this person is feeling. You need to do this so that you can truly understand what they\u2019re going through. Your first response when you face this pain may be self-protection. For example, you may try to erase the pain by \u201cfixing\u201d the person and their issue. You might jump to seek a resolution to the problem, or try to distract from the pain by looking for someone to blame for its existence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, this isn\u2019t true compassion. True compassion is about simply being there for someone.<\/strong> It\u2019s about listening to what the person has to say and allowing them to fully feel and express their pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if a friend confesses that her manager is belittling her at work, don\u2019t jump to resolve the issue. For instance, don\u2019t immediately suggest she speak to human resources. Likewise, don\u2019t rush to blame your friend or her manager for causing the issue. Instead, listen deeply to how your friend is feeling. Express empathy based on similar experiences you\u2019ve had.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s important to note that compassion goes both ways: you can seek it as well as give it. When you seek compassion, you need to make sure you\u2019re reaching out to someone who\u2019s actually capable of offering it. You should avoid seeking compassion from those who are only going to make you feel worse\u2014for example, people who will: <\/p>\n\n\n\n