{"id":36291,"date":"2021-05-27T13:29:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-27T17:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=36291"},"modified":"2021-05-30T12:36:20","modified_gmt":"2021-05-30T16:36:20","slug":"long-term-relationship-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/long-term-relationship-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Long-Term Relationship Advice for Couples"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is the secret to a happy long-term relationship? What’s the most important piece of advice for making a long-term relationship work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship knows that it’s not all wine and roses\u2014there’s work involved too. If you and your partner are in it for the long haul, the best piece of long-term relationship advice is to get your communication in order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few bits of advice for a healthy, happy long-term relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

In It for the Long Haul?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you and your partner are serious about going the distance, the best piece of long-term relationship advice you can take on board is to work on your communication. Fair and conscientious communication keeps negative interactions and resentment in relationships to a minimum, clearing space for positive exchanges. Here are some tips that can help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip 1: Fight With Courtesy <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Conflict is natural in a long-term relationship. It\u2019s important to approach conflict with an argumentative style that\u2019s relatively positive. This is because humans have a negativity bias\u2014that is, we focus much more on negative emotions and experiences than positive. It usually takes five positive interactions in a relationship to offset just one negative interaction.<\/strong> Having arguments in a productive, positive way keeps them from contributing to the negative interaction count. Furthermore, negative arguments can make you feel guilty or irritable which leads to more negative interactions and unhappiness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Studies show that there are six key elements of positive and productive arguments.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Approach one problem at a time. Don\u2019t use issues from the past as artillery in the present. <\/li>
  2. Start arguments as a calm discussion, instead of exploding suddenly and angrily. <\/li>
  3. Avoid absolutes, such as \u201cyou never\u2026\u201d or \u201cI always\u2026\u201d<\/li>
  4. Use words and actions that prevent escalation\u2014you may avoid the phrase, \u201cYou\u2019re just like your mother,\u201d or fold your hands to keep from\u2014literally\u2014pointing fingers. <\/li>
  5. Recognize that external factors might be affecting your partner. We tend to overlook how others\u2019 circumstances influence their behavior. For example, your wife\u2019s sudden anger about the cost of car repairs may be stemming from a recent announcement about layoffs at work.<\/li>
  6. Know how to end arguments, instead of letting them drag on\u2014perhaps one of you goes for a run to calm down, or you agree to sleep on it. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Tip 2: Navigate Differences in Intimacy Needs <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Men and women tend to express intimacy differently. While women associate intimacy with face-to-face interactions, men associate intimacy with working or playing alongside their partner. Both are important shared moments, but they look and feel incredibly different. It\u2019s possible your partner won\u2019t engage in intimacy the same way <\/strong>you <\/em><\/strong>want to. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n