{"id":35070,"date":"2021-05-23T16:31:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-23T20:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=35070"},"modified":"2025-09-15T10:36:49","modified_gmt":"2025-09-15T14:36:49","slug":"career-or-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/career-or-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Career or Love? How to Choose Your Best Future"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you have to choose between following your career or your heart? How do you know which is the right choice: career or love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the stars align and you’re blessed with two of your life’s goals at once, a promotion and the man of your dreams. But wait. Your promotion would require you to move away. Suddenly it doesn’t feel like a blessing anymore and you’re forced to give one up. Which do you choose, career or love? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue on for Steve Harvey’s advice on whether you should choose career or love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of\u00a0Shortform’s guide to career development<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Career or Love?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to Steve Harvey in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man<\/em>, a man needs to have his life in order before he can fully commit to a relationship. If you\u2019ve been with your man for a while and he\u2019s gone through the steps to prove he\u2019s worthy of you, the chances are pretty good that he\u2019s figured out enough about who he is, what he does, and how much he will make to include you in his world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But his business and successes are not the only ones to consider. You also have dreams and a career that are important to you. So how can you determine whether you\u2019re able to grow together? And if your career is booming and he\u2019s still in the development stages, how can you factor in both? Do you actually have to choose between career or love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Your Dreams Come True<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve experienced success in your career, and now you\u2019ve accomplished the difficult task of finding a good man who cares about you and seems to fit into your world. Then, you get the call you\u2019ve been waiting for\u2014your dream job<\/a> or that lucrative promotion is finally being offered to you. The pay is great, the benefits are enviable, and the prestige is mind-blowing. The only problem\u2014you have to move away to get this amazing opportunity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Six months ago, accepting the job was a no-brainer, but now you\u2019ve got the relationship you\u2019ve been waiting just as long for and aren\u2019t sure whether you can give it up. The following list provides things to consider if you have to choose between career and love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Questions To Ask Yourself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

1. Can you realistically give up this job opportunity?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you wake up every morning and be proud of your choice to stay behind for love? Are you willing to gamble that another great opportunity is coming and be truly okay if it never does? Be honest with yourself. You have to live with your choices, so make sure they\u2019re the right ones for you, not your man. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Will you hold your lost opportunity against your man?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may honestly feel okay about putting your dreams on hold, but your relationship will not always be perfect. Will you use your sacrifice as a weapon when you won\u2019t hit a bump in the road? If any part of you believes your sacrifice will lead to resentment, take the job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Is a long-distance relationship possible?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will you truly be okay with every other weekend and FaceTime conversations? Is your man worth sacrificing your desire to have a partner by your side? You can make a long-distance relationship work if you’re truly in love and connected. But staying connected when you\u2019re apart is hard. Really think about what a long-distance relationship looks like, and have a conversation about it with your man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Do you and your man trust each other enough to be apart?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will you feel comfortable that your man is not on the prowl three states away, and will he feel the same about you? Distrust creates problems, and there\u2019s no shame in admitting that long distance isn\u2019t the right relationship for you. But if you feel like you can trust your man and he can trust you, be open about the expectations while you\u2019re apart so you both know the rules. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Could he come with you?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You never know what your man is willing to do to stay with you. He may put in for a transfer or look for a new job in your new city. Don\u2019t assume your leaving is the end of the discussion. If you\u2019re struggling with the decision, chances are your man is too. Put the cards on the table, and he might surprise you with what he\u2019s willing to do to keep you in his life.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A change in location doesn’t have to be the nail in the coffin. Don\u2019t write off a good job or a good relationship too soon. You never know what the future holds, and the distance may turn out to be temporary. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When He\u2019s Still Reaching for the Stars<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your man may not have all three categories of his life figured out completely, but he\u2019s on his way to doing so, which means he\u2019s comfortable making room for you in his life. But how can you be sure his dreams will become a reality?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following considerations will help you decide whether you should put your faith in your man\u2019s future:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Are his goals viable?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve asked the five important questions, so you have a clear idea of what his goals are. Pay attention to the details of your man\u2019s plans. If he\u2019s been working toward the same goal since he was 18 and hasn\u2019t made any strides, he\u2019s stuck dreaming. If he\u2019s waiting for luck to strike instead of figuring out his dreams, he\u2019s not taking control of his fate. Don\u2019t attach your life to a man with lofty goals. You\u2019ll be waving in the wind with him, rather than building a solid foundation. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Does he walk his talk?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your man\u2019s dreams seem legitimate but he\u2019s doing nothing to make them happen, keep walking. A man who is ready to grow up and build a life with someone will be motivated to get his life in order. If he isn\u2019t taking action, he\u2019s not truly ready for his life or yours. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Does he want you to save him?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is he waiting for the love of a good woman to get him moving? Being his life force is not your job. Your man needs to pick himself up and build his own future. You can be there to support his dreams, but if you become responsible for making them happen, he won\u2019t feel like a man. You\u2019re not his mother or career counselor, so don\u2019t fall into the trap of becoming one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Will you help more than you hurt?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your man is truly driven and working to make his goals a reality, he may not have the kind of time for love that you want. If you stay with this man and take up his time, you\u2019ll become a distraction. If he is<\/em> able to make time, figure out how you best fit into his plan and support him. Be there when he needs you, and give him space when he needs it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Can you be patient?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will you be happy waiting for six months, a year, or two years for you man to get where he wants to be? If he\u2019s earnest about his dream and working toward it, you\u2019ll need to be patient and give him time to make it happen. He may not be able to give you everything you want now, but if he\u2019s the right one, allowing him time to become the man he wants will be worth it in the end.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Can you support his dreams?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you stick with your man through the struggles of getting his life in order? Can you help him in the way he needs it, not how you believe he needs it? Can you show him you\u2019re proud of his hard work? If a man knows he can count on you when he\u2019s still striving, he\u2019ll be better able to work hard and endure the struggles with confidence, and he won\u2019t forget your love and support when he reaches the top. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you have to choose between following your career or your heart? How do you know which is the right choice: career or love? Sometimes the stars align and you’re blessed with two of your life’s goals at once, a promotion and the man of your dreams. But wait. Your promotion would require you to move away. Suddenly it doesn’t feel like a blessing anymore and you’re forced to give one up. Which do you choose, career or love? Continue on for Steve Harvey’s advice on whether you should choose career or love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":35093,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,7,12],"tags":[301],"class_list":["post-35070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-career","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","tag-act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nCareer or Love? How to Choose Your Best Future - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sometimes in life, two amazing things happen to you at the same time and you're forced to choose between career or love. 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