{"id":35069,"date":"2021-05-22T16:12:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-22T20:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=35069"},"modified":"2021-09-12T09:53:14","modified_gmt":"2021-09-12T13:53:14","slug":"boyfriends-ex-girlfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/boyfriends-ex-girlfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Handle Your Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you worried about how you’ll react when you run into your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend? Want tips on how to prepare for a possible run-in?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man<\/em>, Steve Harvey discusses how to handle a run-in with your boyfriend’s ex, especially if they have a child together. Harvey says that it’s better to prepare yourself for the possibility of a run-in rather than being caught off guard and reacting poorly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading for Steve Harvey’s advice on how to navigate a meeting with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Tips to Manage the Ex-Girlfriend<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re dating a man older than 30, you\u2019re likely with someone who\u2019s been in serious relationships before. He may even have children with another woman. And if you live in the same town, chances are you will cross paths with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend at some point. You don\u2019t want to fall into the trap of reacting poorly when you meet the ex. Your snide behavior will either show your man how jealous you are or make things so bad you can\u2019t form a positive relationship with his children. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following advice will help you navigate meeting the ex:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Remain calm.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t try to control the encounter with his ex-girlfriend. Sit back and allow him to handle the conversation and introduce you. If he is truly your man, he will take the opportunity to let the ex know you are the new woman in his life. If he doesn\u2019t introduce you as his woman, reconsider if he\u2019s really the right man for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Be strong.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might think she\u2019s prettier, smarter, skinnier, or taller than you, but that doesn\u2019t mean you have nothing going for you. There are a million things that make you an amazing woman, and your man has recognized and appreciated these things or he wouldn\u2019t be with you instead of her. Be confident in yourself and your relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Be real.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t need to put on airs or try to show the ex up with what you do, how much you make, or how funny you are. You have nothing to prove to this woman, so just be natural. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Be a lady.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend approaches you coldly or rudely, don\u2019t take the bait. Be the essence of grace and decorum. Show her what a real woman is like by taking the high road when she goes low. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Mother of His Children<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The next few tips can help when dealing with the mother of your man\u2019s children:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Have integrity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you and the ex can\u2019t be civil, it will cause problems for your relationship. He\u2019s never going to choose you over his children\u2019s happiness. Even if she\u2019s cold to you, approach her honestly to talk about your role in her children\u2019s lives. Let her know you respect her and desire to see her children safe and happy. Give her the courtesy to get to know the woman who will be spending time with her kids. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Give the ex space.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A mother will be cautious about her children spending time with another woman, especially if her relationship with your man is not in a good place. Be understanding and patient with this woman. Give her time to become comfortable with the situation and with who you are<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Act like a grown up.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the ex has not warmed up to you after a good amount of time, be an adult and ask her to talk. Ask her about her concerns and fears, and listen without arguing. But don\u2019t let her walk all over you. You need to respect her role in your man\u2019s life, but she also needs to respect yours. If she\u2019s unwilling to budge, you may want to rethink being part of her children\u2019s lives or your man\u2019s life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Harvey’s Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to let a run-in with the ex be a monumental event in your relationship. If there are bad feelings between your man and his ex, let him manage them. Don\u2019t get involved if your involvement is not requested or required.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The best thing you can do is prepare for the inevitable face-to-face with the ex. If you can come up with the worst-case scenarios and ways to manage them, you\u2019ll be more likely to keep your cool if encounters with the ex go awry. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pull out a notebook and jot down five responses for the following categories:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Scenarios that would push my buttons<\/li>
  • Trigger words that make my blood boil<\/li>
  • People who will provide support when I\u2019m upset<\/li>
  • Actions that calm me down<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Are you worried about how you’ll react when you run into your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend? Want tips on how to prepare for a possible run-in? In his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve Harvey discusses how to handle a run-in with your boyfriend’s ex, especially if they have a child together. Harvey says that it’s better to prepare yourself for the possibility of a run-in rather than being caught off guard and reacting poorly. Continue reading for Steve Harvey’s advice on how to navigate a meeting with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":35080,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12,43],"tags":[301],"class_list":["post-35069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Handle Your Boyfriend's Ex-Girlfriend - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Worried about how you'll react when you run into your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend? 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