{"id":35068,"date":"2021-05-21T15:46:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-21T19:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=35068"},"modified":"2021-09-12T09:53:44","modified_gmt":"2021-09-12T13:53:44","slug":"men-and-marriage-why-they-avoid-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/men-and-marriage-why-they-avoid-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Men and Marriage: Why They Avoid It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why do men avoid marriage? How can you turn your boyfriend into your husband?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re in a committed relationship, then the next obvious step is marriage. However, Steve Harvey explains in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man<\/em> that even committed men avoid marriage because it means changing their way of life and officially taking them off the market. To avoid this, Harvey says you should set the expectation early in a relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue on to learn more about men and marriage, according to Steve Harvey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Men and Marriage<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re in a committed relationship, neither you nor your man is unaware that you want to get married someday.<\/strong> Don\u2019t let your man pretend like he doesn\u2019t know that\u2019s what you want. Men and marriage are like water and oil, they will do what they can to avoid taking that next big step as long as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men don\u2019t hate marriage, but marriage forces them to change their lives in a way that they\u2019d rather not most of the time. If women weren\u2019t around, men would live in sweatpants, eat burgers for every meal, and only watch sports and pornography. But men pull themselves together, make money, and show interest in other things because that\u2019s what women want, and men need women<\/a>. Still, the idea of marriage is like eating vegetables as a child. You know you have to, but you\u2019d rather eat chips. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So why are so many men married if they\u2019re predisposed to avoid it? Harvey says it’s because their women made it happen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1950s State of Mind<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You, like most women, probably still operate under the assumption that you meet a man, go steady, and when the time is right, he proposes. You get married and live happily ever after. Despite the 50% divorce rate in America, this vision is still somehow the predominant one. You sit around waiting for your man to propose and dream of the romantic moment when he gets down on one knee<\/strong>, but he never does. So why won\u2019t your man propose? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is\u2014men don\u2019t propose for one of three reasons: 1) they\u2019re already married, 2) they don\u2019t think of you as \u201cthe One,\u201d or 3) you haven\u2019t set your expectation for marriage. The question to ask isn\u2019t \u201cWhy has he not proposed yet?\u201d, but rather \u201cWhy would he propose when I\u2019m doing everything he wants without the ring?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if a man is in a committed relationship, he\u2019s not truly tied down if he\u2019s not married. He doesn\u2019t want to lose the illusion of freedom, and if you let him continue to string you along while you wait for a ring, he\u2019ll never have to. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ladies, this is not the 1950s. You aren\u2019t required to sit back and wait for the question to be popped. You don\u2019t have to propose to him, but you do need to make it clear that marriage is what you want and expect if this relationship is going to have a future. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about it\u2014if you\u2019re at the point in your relationship where marriage is a viable option, your man has already proven himself worthy and committed to you. He hasn\u2019t done that because he likes being off the market. He does it because he likes having you off the market. But if you\u2019re willing to stay off the market and wait for his awakening, you\u2019re going to be waiting forever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Turn Your Boyfriend Into Your Husband<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ideally, you will set your standards for the type of relationship you need early on, and part of those standards should include your expectation that a long-term partnership eventually becomes a marriage. True, setting this standard may scare a man off, but if your man is run off by the future prospect of marriage, he\u2019s not your man<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you make your desire to get married clear and set a clear period of time by which this needs to happen, he knows he will lose you if he doesn\u2019t come through. And if he truly sees you as his woman, he won\u2019t let that happen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve been with your man for a while and didn\u2019t set your marriage standard before, do it now. He knows it\u2019s what you want and has likely expected this conversation. If he\u2019s your man, he\u2019ll get the job done and go buy a ring. If he does anything other than buy a ring, he\u2019s not in love with you, and now you know and can move on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You deserve to know where your life is headed. Don\u2019t be afraid of losing a man because he\u2019s not ready to get married yet. You\u2019re not going to shock your man by bringing up marriage. If you\u2019ve reached that point and he\u2019s not ready, it means he doesn\u2019t see you as his wife, plain and simple. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why do men avoid marriage? How can you turn your boyfriend into your husband? If you’re in a committed relationship, then the next obvious step is marriage. However, Steve Harvey explains in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that even committed men avoid marriage because it means changing their way of life and officially taking them off the market. To avoid this, Harvey says you should set the expectation early in a relationship. Continue on to learn more about men and marriage, according to Steve Harvey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":35076,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,24],"tags":[301],"class_list":["post-35068","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-society","tag-act-like-a-lady-think-like-a-man","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nMen and Marriage: Why They Avoid It - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why do many men (even committed ones) avoid marriage? 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