{"id":34990,"date":"2021-05-18T13:44:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-18T17:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=34990"},"modified":"2026-01-22T22:16:32","modified_gmt":"2026-01-23T02:16:32","slug":"steve-harvey-90-day-rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/steve-harvey-90-day-rule\/","title":{"rendered":"Steve Harvey’s 90-Day Rule: Protect Your Cookie"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why does Steve Harvey say it’s so important to wait 90 days before having sex in a new relationship? How should you approach the first three months of a relationship? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Steve Harvey, the 90-day rule is crucial in a new relationship for numerous reasons. But also, how you spend those first 90 days is almost just as important. It’s within this time period that you need to get to know each other better, look for red flags, and find out his intentions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading for more on Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Steve Harvey’s 90-Day Rule<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule may seem like a long time to go without sex, especially for your man. But this time is not a test of willpower. Three months gives you enough time to experience many different scenarios with your man so you can get a good grasp of who he is.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve been seeing someone for three months, you\u2019ve had the chance to ask your five questions (see our article on “5 Questions to Ask a New Boyfriend”) and observe his actions and reactions. You know whether or not he\u2019s punctual, is considerate about your time and feelings, gets along with your friends, is willing to introduce you to his friends, and is creative in how he woos you. You\u2019ve communicated your standards and have enough examples to know whether he is willing and able to abide by them. Basically, by the end of the probationary period, you have everything you need to determine whether this is the right man for you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another reason 90 days is so effective is that any man will be patient for a few weeks, even a month or so. He\u2019ll be the perfect gentleman, which may make you believe he\u2019s worthy of receiving your benefits. But if he\u2019s not interested in you for more than just sex, his patience will wane after a while, and his true self<\/a> will come out. Ninety days is enough time to weed out the impostors from the real thing. And you\u2019re looking for the real thing.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of the male playbook includes convincing women that there\u2019s no need to wait to have sex. They say that sex won\u2019t change how they feel and that you can\u2019t expect them to wait forever. First, three months is not forever. Second, men will do or say just about anything to have sex, so any proclamations on the topic should be taken with a grain of salt. Third, men are fully capable of waiting, and if they tell you differently, they\u2019re lying. This type of man is not the man you want to build a life with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Spend Your <\/strong>90 Days<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Use the probationary period wisely. You have to be proactive<\/a>. Put him through some light situations to see how he reacts. Explore your man like an investigator gathering evidence.<\/strong> What you uncover will help you know whether or not he\u2019s worth it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are a million things you can do together during those 90 days to build intimacy, and the following month-to-month guidelines will help you cross the finish line. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The First Month<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The first 30 days of your relationship are magical. You\u2019re going to want to give up everything to spend time with him, but that\u2019s a mistake. Don\u2019t drop your friends, hair appointments, or important obligations to spend time with your man. When you set boundaries<\/a> and continue living your life, the times you are together become more meaningful and focused on getting to know each other better. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are five things to do during the first month to keep the journey interesting and fruitful:<\/p>\n\n\n\n