{"id":34987,"date":"2021-05-16T11:53:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-16T15:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=34987"},"modified":"2021-09-12T09:54:51","modified_gmt":"2021-09-12T13:54:51","slug":"men-respect-standards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/men-respect-standards\/","title":{"rendered":"“Men Respect Standards,” Says Steve Harvey"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why do men respect standards? How can you set your standards upfront without scaring him away?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Steve Harvey in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man<\/em>, men respect women who set standards. He says that you should feed the standards to him like a parent giving a child cough syrup, sweet-flavored and in a cute bottle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue on to learn why Steve Harvey says men respect standards and how to set them early on in a relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Why Do Men Respect Standards?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Up to now, you\u2019ve been encouraged to set standards and expectations for your man several times. But what are those standards, how are you supposed to set them, and why do men care? Because men respect standards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t expect a man to know everything about what women want, let alone what you want, in relationships. All women are not the same, and what they desire from a man is not the same. If you want your man to understand what\u2019s important to you and what he needs to do or not do to make your relationship work, you need to tell him. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Setting your standards up front does two things. First, you give a man the opportunity to understand what it will take to be with you and decide whether he is capable of complying. If he isn\u2019t, he will move on to someone with fewer standards. This sounds counterproductive, but a man who can\u2019t or won\u2019t live up to your expectations is not the man you want. Finding this out before the second date is better than after you\u2019re emotionally invested. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if he\u2019s willing and able to comply with your requirements, you have achieved the second benefit of setting standards up front\u2014you\u2019ve given him a blueprint for how to win your heart and keep it. Now he understands how he needs to behave in a relationship with you if he is serious about pursuing something long term. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Set Your Standards<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The way you approach setting your standards is as important as the standards themselves. You need to be considerate<\/a> about how you relay this information. You\u2019re not going to impress him if you pull out a laundry list of dos and don\u2019ts with an attitude. But if you\u2019re clever and provide this information organically as part of the conversation, he\u2019s going to read between the lines and pay attention to learn more.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of conveying your standards like giving cough syrup to a child. If you go straight for the adult-brand medicinal-flavored syrup, your man will screw up his face and turn away. But if you offer up the strawberry-flavored syrup that comes in a cute bottle, he\u2019ll have an easier time swallowing it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s another reason why providing your standards in a palatable way is important. When you slip your requirements in as expressions of what you do and don\u2019t respect in a man, you make room for him to have agency in his actions. A man still wants to feel like a man, even when he\u2019s abiding by your standards. He doesn\u2019t want to feel like a child who\u2019ll be punished if he does the wrong thing. And you want your man to have agency so you can see what he\u2019s willing to do on his own to make you happy<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think about the following examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n