{"id":33561,"date":"2021-04-26T10:01:54","date_gmt":"2021-04-26T14:01:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=33561"},"modified":"2021-04-30T10:27:27","modified_gmt":"2021-04-30T14:27:27","slug":"true-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/","title":{"rendered":"The Elusive Nature of Your True Self"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is the nature of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-your-true-self\/\">true self<\/a>? And how can you know whether a thought or an emotion belongs to your true self?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Michael A. Singer, the author of <em>The Untethered Soul<\/em>, your true self has nothing to do with the incessant voice you hear in your head. Your true self is the awareness behind this voice or the phenomenon that listens to this voice but doesn&#8217;t identify with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the nature of your true self in opposition to your inner roommate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Do You Know Your True Self?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Most people are fragmented and unhappy. They lead conflicted lives, driven by a variety of competing motivations and impulses. <\/strong>They would love to follow the advice of Polonius in Shakespeare\u2019s <em>Hamlet<\/em> to be true to themselves, but they just can\u2019t do it, because Polonius\u2019s advice only works if you really know the self to which you\u2019re supposed to be true.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Fortunately, there\u2019s an infallible expert on the subject of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-your-true-self\/\">who you really are<\/a>: you. <\/strong>You\u2019re the only one with direct, firsthand knowledge of what it\u2019s like to be you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Problem: You Believe Your Inner Roommate<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The reason you feel out of touch with your true self is that you believe, what Michael Singer calls your \u201cinner roommate.\u201d <strong>The first step in spiritual awakening is to recognize the voice of this roommate in your head.<\/strong> Because this voice speaks to you as the voice of your own mind, you\u2019ve mistakenly come to believe that it <em>is <\/em>you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Your inner roommate hijacks your experience by narrating the world for you. You \u201chear\u201d it as the endless flow and flux of your thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The voice chatters randomly: \u201cDid I turn off the coffee maker? I need to call Walter. What\u2019s on TV tonight?\u201d<\/li><li>The voice argues with itself. \u201cI should get married. No, I\u2019m not ready. But I love him! But it might ruin our relationship.\u201d<\/li><li>When you walk, drive, meet people, eat, work, or just sit, your inner roommate narrates it all: \u201cLook, a poodle! Oh, no, here comes Rita. I don\u2019t want to talk to her. Look, a restaurant. I want a taco.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Your inner roommate\u2019s narration of your life is a defense mechanism.<\/strong> Your roommate fears and hates the world because of the world\u2019s unpredictability, so it generates an illusion of security to provide a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/an-internal-locus-of-control\/\">sense of control<\/a>. It invites you to live in your head instead of the full flow of reality itself by giving you a mentally interpreted model of the world to experience. However, this illusion isn\u2019t satisfying, and ultimately it\u2019s pathological. Your roommate is always liable to find something wrong with any situation and decide it doesn\u2019t want to be there.<strong> <\/strong>It finds fault, lack, and offense at your wedding, at your job, at home\u2014everywhere and all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If you give it free rein, your inner roommate will ruin your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Solution: Disidentify From Your Inner Roommate&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Recognize Your Mental Voice<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Your inner roommate\u2019s voice is so close that it can be hard to notice. However, you can choose to \u201cstep back\u201d and pay attention to it. <strong>The very act of noticing the voice is the beginning of freedom from it. <\/strong>Don\u2019t try to stop the voice through willpower. Such attempts will only encourage it. By simply noticing it instead of fighting it, you disidentify from it and recognize that you <em>are not<\/em> it. This breaks its hypnotic spell.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The one inside you who is aware of the voice is the doorway to your true identity. <\/strong>Through your awareness of it, the very mental voice that worries and distracts can become the thing that launches you into spiritual awakening\/ You can also take charge temporarily by \u201cspeaking\u201d to yourself with this mental voice. Try it now: Mentally shout \u201cHello!\u201d and \u201chear\u201d it in your mind. This is a useful centering technique whenever you\u2019re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/getting-overwhelmed\/\">feeling overwhelmed<\/a> by racing thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Witness Your Inner Melodrama<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Building on the above, <strong>know that in your inner being, there are two distinct aspects<\/strong>. One is awareness, the witness, the center of what you <em>will<\/em> and <em>intend<\/em>. The other is everything else, all the stuff the witness watches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Rest in this subject-object relationship<\/strong>. Whenever you\u2019re emotionally bothered by anything\u2014jealousy, anger, anxiety\u2014ask yourself, \u201cWho sees this? Who\u2019s witnessing this inner disturbance?\u201d Notice that you aren\u2019t the problem, you\u2019re the witness of it, which means you don\u2019t have to get lost in it. Chapter 2 will teach you more about this subject-object distinction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Learn Your Roommate\u2019s Personality<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Having learned to hear your inner roommate and witness its melodrama, now <strong>take some time getting to know this inner companion by listening to it<\/strong>\u2014not to believe what it says, but to learn more about its personality so that you\u2019ll be more savvy about its tendencies. Be warned that when you first try this, your roommate will ask you skeptical questions about why you would do such a thing. It wants to remain hidden by your unconscious identification with it. It\u2019s crafty that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Consider personifying your inner roommate.<\/strong> Imagine it talking to you from the outside. Spend a day with that person. What does it say? How does it make you feel? Imagine sitting down to watch your favorite television show with this person. Your roommate decides it wants a snack but then agonizes over what to eat. It remembers unfulfilled responsibilities and feels guilty. It sees a redhead on the screen and launches into an angry story about its ex-spouse. Its <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughts-feelings-and-behaviors\/\">thoughts and emotions<\/a> are random, out of control. <strong>Notice that this unstable person tries to control your life.<\/strong> It continually dispenses neurotic advice about everything from your work to your health to your relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Refuse to Believe Your Inner Roommate&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Through inner observation, you learn the important lesson that <strong>you don\u2019t have to believe, and that you <\/strong><strong><em>should not <\/em><\/strong><strong>believe, what your inner roommate tells you. In fact, your true <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/spiritual-evolution\/\">spiritual growth<\/a> depends on not believing it. <\/strong>Your inner roommate is obsessed with meaningless things. Most of what it says is a waste of time and energy, or worse, positively harmful. If someone chattered out loud the way your roommate does, you\u2019d think they were crazy. Take a clue from this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Always remember that the voice isn\u2019t your true self nor is it an accurate reflection of reality. <\/strong>Life<strong> <\/strong>will happen as it will happen, regardless of what your mind says about it. The voice is merely a mental commotion about life, not life itself. Even if the voice says nominally \u201cspiritual\u201d things, these are just more empty chatter. Real spiritual growth lies beyond the voice. Until you recognize your inner roommate and decide to free yourself from its drama, you\u2019re not ready for teachings about liberation. But once you\u2019ve recognized it, you can make real use of such teachings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the nature of the true self? And how can you know whether a thought or an emotion belongs to your true self? According to Michael A. Singer, the author of The Untethered Soul, your true self has nothing to do with the incessant voice you hear in your head. Your true self is the awareness behind this voice or the phenomenon that listens to this voice but doesn&#8217;t identify with it. Keep reading to learn about the nature of your true self in opposition to your inner roommate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":668,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9,6],"tags":[271],"class_list":["post-33561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-the-untethered-soul","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Elusive Nature of Your True Self - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Your true self has nothing to do with the voice in your head. 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The doorway to your true identity lies in the awareness behind this voice.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-04-26T14:01:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-04-30T14:27:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/power-of-now-true-self.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"720\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"384\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"The Elusive Nature of Your True Self\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-26T14:01:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-30T14:27:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/\"},\"wordCount\":1181,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/power-of-now-true-self.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Untethered Soul\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Psychology\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/\",\"name\":\"The Elusive Nature of Your True Self - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/true-self\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/power-of-now-true-self.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-26T14:01:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-30T14:27:27+00:00\",\"description\":\"Your true self has nothing to do with the voice in your head. 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