{"id":31977,"date":"2021-04-11T11:48:51","date_gmt":"2021-04-11T15:48:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=31977"},"modified":"2021-04-19T21:25:13","modified_gmt":"2021-04-20T01:25:13","slug":"weak-ties-theory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/weak-ties-theory\/","title":{"rendered":"Weak Ties Theory: Why You Need Weak Social Ties"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is the weak ties theory<\/a>? Why do we need to pursue weak social ties in order to be happy and successful?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The weak ties theory is the idea that people with whom you have weak ties can help you find success. Weak ties often lead to good opportunities and stronger ties, so it’s important to pursue them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more about the weak ties theory and what it means. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Weak Ties <\/strong>Theory<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to the weak ties theory, you don\u2019t exist in a vacuum, and a large piece of your identity, and your identity capital<\/a>, is determined by the people in your life. Some of your personal ties are stronger than others. You have strong ties to those you spend a lot of time with or have known for many years. In childhood these include family and long-time friends. In your twenties these grow to embrace roommates, partners, and other close friends: your so-called \u201curban tribe.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have weak ties to people you\u2019ve met infrequently or who are connected to you through a mutual friend. These might be a colleague from a different department, a neighbor you rarely see, a former employer, or a friend-of-a-friend you keep meaning to get in touch with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though you feel more comfortable around your strong ties, the people with whom you have weak ties are most likely to help you move forward in your pursuits.<\/strong> This is because your strong ties are like you: They think like you, have similar life experiences, or are from the same places. Therefore, they have little to add to your journey, either in work or love. They know the same things and the same people you know. Your strong ties can also prevent you from moving forward by lulling you into a sense of behavioral complacency. These people love you as you are and give you no incentive<\/a> to conduct yourself in a more professional or presentable manner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, your weak ties can give you access to information and people you don\u2019t otherwise know.<\/strong> Interacting with your weak ties encourages you to behave more professionally: You must organize your thoughts more clearly and use more formal vocabulary than you would around someone with whom you are intimately comfortable. Consequently, you are encouraged to act more mindfully and reflectively. An extraordinary number of jobs are found through a network of weak ties, rather than an ad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Cultivate Your Weak Ties: Getting Started<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

People often feel uncomfortable asking for help from weak ties. They\u2019d prefer to get a job on their own, or they don\u2019t feel \u201cnetworking\u201d fits with who they are. But because new opportunities almost always come from outside your circle of close contacts, it\u2019s important to reach out. According to the weak ties theory, ignoring the potential of weak ties can only shut you off from opportunities.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, you have human nature on your side: People naturally like to help other people. <\/strong>Humans have an innate tendency towards altruism. Studies show that acting altruistically leads to health, happiness, and longevity. In short, it feels nice to act nice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, when someone does you a favor, she\u2019s far more likely to do you another in the future. This is because of another quirk of human nature: Behavior shapes attitudes. When someone helps you, her brain tells her she likes you and she\u2019s inclined to help you again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A great way to approach a weak tie is to ask her for a small, interesting, specific, and easy-to-accomplish favor. <\/strong>Ben Franklin outlined this idea in his autobiography. He wanted to foster a connection with a certain politician. Instead of trying to win him over by acting servile or overly complimentary, he asked him if he could borrow a specific book he\u2019d discovered the politician owned. The politician sent it over, and after that, took Franklin under his wing and helped his career for years afterwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The important elements of Franklin\u2019s request were:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • He researched his target.<\/li>
  • He made himself relevant: He matched his request to his target\u2019s area of expertise.<\/li>
  • He made himself interesting: His request was unusual.<\/li>
  • He asked for a specific, clearly-defined, and easy-to-execute favor. <\/li>
  • He came across as a serious, professional person.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    When approaching your weak tie, whether it be for a letter of recommendation, introduction, or informational interview, follow Franklin\u2019s structure:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    • Research your target: <\/strong>Find out any relevant information that might connect you.<\/li>
    • Make yourself relevant: <\/strong>Find a connection to your target\u2019s expertise.<\/li>
    • Make yourself interesting:<\/strong> Show some personality. <\/li>
    • Make your request specific: <\/strong>Don\u2019t approach someone with a vague, \u201cCan we meet for coffee?\u201d Instead, let her know what exactly you\u2019d like to discuss. <\/li>
    • Make your request easy to execute: <\/strong>Don\u2019t ask for advice that would require lengthy, thoughtful responses on a broad subject like what you should do with your life. Ask instead for advice on a specific aspect of one particular industry you\u2019re interested in. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Using the weak ties theory is a great way to expand the set of potential options available to you. As we\u2019ll explore in the next section, you can\u2019t make choices if you don\u2019t have options.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      What is the weak ties theory? Why do we need to pursue weak social ties in order to be happy and successful? The weak ties theory is the idea that people with whom you have weak ties can help you find success. Weak ties often lead to good opportunities and stronger ties, so it’s important to pursue them. Read more about the weak ties theory and what it means.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":31987,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,24],"tags":[260],"class_list":["post-31977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-society","tag-the-defining-decade","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nWeak Ties Theory: Why You Need Weak Social Ties - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In our relationships, we have both weak ties and strong ties. 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