{"id":31512,"date":"2021-04-07T06:47:41","date_gmt":"2021-04-07T10:47:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=31512"},"modified":"2021-04-10T19:18:14","modified_gmt":"2021-04-10T23:18:14","slug":"radical-acceptance-tara-brach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/radical-acceptance-tara-brach\/","title":{"rendered":"Radical Acceptance: Tara Brach and Buddhism"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is<em> Radical Acceptance <\/em>about? How does Tara Brach combine the psychological aspects of Radical Acceptance with Buddhist teachings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Radical Acceptance is the practice of acknowledging your experiences so you can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/being-in-the-present-moment-2\/\">be more present in the moment<\/a>. Dr. Tara Brach is a psychologist and a devout Buddhist and she explains how we can learn to accept each moment as it comes\u2014without judging our experiences or ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue on to learn more about <em>Radical Acceptance <\/em>by Tara Brach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em>Radical Acceptance<\/em> by Tara Brach<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Radical Acceptance is a meditative practice wherein we acknowledge what we\u2019re experiencing\u2014positive or negative\u2014and welcome it. <\/strong>It\u2019s a powerful tool that allows us to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-the-present-moment\/\">be fully present<\/a> in each passing moment. It helps us avoid getting stuck in our own heads. Tara Brach, a practicing psychologist and devout Buddhist, discusses how we can use Radical Acceptance to live our lives more fully by always bringing our full attention to the present moment and accepting it for what it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Radical Acceptance<\/em> we\u2019ll discuss:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>How and why we get trapped in the stories we tell ourselves<\/li><li>How Radical Acceptance can help bring us out of that trance<\/li><li>Various ways of practicing Radical Acceptance in our lives and relationships<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Feelings of Unworthiness<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Many of us<\/strong><strong>\u2014perhaps even most of us\u2014struggle with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/feeling-unworthy\/\">feelings of unworthiness<\/a>.<\/strong> We never feel as if we\u2019re good enough, smart enough, successful enough, or whatever the focus of our insecurity is.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In our attempts to become \u201cbetter,\u201d we constantly observe and judge ourselves. We\u2019re always on the lookout for imperfections; and, when we inevitably find some, it just drives us deeper into our sense of inadequacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These feelings drive us to all kinds of self-destructive behavior, most notably addiction in all its various forms. Whether it\u2019s to drugs, sex, work\u2014an addiction that is, unfortunately, applauded by Western culture\u2014or something else, addiction is often an attempt to escape the feelings of worthlessness.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Thoughts of unworthiness also create feelings of isolation.<\/strong> When we don\u2019t think that we\u2019re good enough, we assume that others think the same thing. We find it hard to trust people who offer us love, friendship, or even simple encouragement.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Letting Go of Perfection&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Zen master Seng-tsan said that to be free is to live without worrying about imperfection<\/strong>. Imperfections don\u2019t mean that there\u2019s something wrong with you, that you\u2019re not worthy of love or respect\u2014rather, they\u2019re a natural and inescapable part of existence. Therefore, it\u2019s much better to accept yourself, others, and life as they are, rather than chasing some impossible dream of how they should be.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By becoming so focused on ourselves, and chasing what we think we want, we cut ourselves off from the things that fulfill our greatest needs: those things that keep us connected to ourselves and each other.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our greatest needs are met when we relate to one another, when we are fully present in every moment instead of worrying about the past or future, and when we accept and revel in the beauty\u2014and the pain\u2014that\u2019s always around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Decenter yourself. Not everything that happens is a reflection of you or your perceived flaws. Whatever\u2019s going on at any given moment, <strong>remember that it\u2019s not about you; it just is what it is. <\/strong>That\u2019s the key to Radical Acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Accepting Things as They Are<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Breaking out of these unhealthy thoughts and coping mechanisms begins with accepting everything about ourselves, our lives, and our experiences. <\/strong>This means being aware of everything that\u2019s happening inside our minds at bodies at every moment and embracing it. It means not shying away from sorrow or pain. It means recognizing our desires and dislikes without judging ourselves for them or feeling forced to act upon them. (However, Radical Acceptance does <em>not <\/em>mean accepting harmful behavior, either from ourselves or anyone else.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Radical Acceptance goes against all of our conditioned reactions. Rather than embracing physical and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healing-emotional-pain-eckhart-tolle-emotions\/\">emotional pain<\/a>, we tend to resist it. We tense up our muscles and our minds. We start thinking about what could be causing the pain, how long it might last, what we can do to make it go away. Perhaps we blame ourselves for the pain, thinking that it\u2019s a sign of our own shortcomings.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even when things are going well, we start telling ourselves stories about how we don\u2019t deserve the good fortune, when it might end, or how it\u2019ll lead to more pain in the long run (like eating an ice cream cone while worrying about how many calories are in it).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By building up these narratives around our experiences, we distance ourselves from the experiences themselves. The narratives often devolve into harmful mantras about how we have to do more, do better, <em>be <\/em>better to make the pain stop. Even our good experiences are tainted with anxiety because we don\u2019t simply accept them as they happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Two Aspects of Radical Acceptance<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>There are two key aspects of Radical Acceptance: recognition and compassion.<\/strong> The first part, recognition, is what Buddhists often call <em>mindfulness<\/em>. This is the practice of understanding what is happening to us physically, mentally, and emotionally, without being ruled by it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, if we\u2019re afraid, we might recognize that our minds are racing, our bodies are tense, and we feel compelled to run away. In doing this, we don\u2019t try to change or manage the experience, we simply take it as-is. <strong>We can\u2019t accept an experience until we clearly see what we\u2019re accepting.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The second aspect, compassion, is responding with care and tenderness. Rather than judging ourselves harshly for what we feel or think, we honor the experience. However, that doesn\u2019t mean that we indulge all of our desires. Rather, we acknowledge them and look upon them with tenderness and care.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of berating ourselves for wanting a candy bar, for instance, we simply accept that at this point in time we feel the desire for a candy bar. That doesn\u2019t mean we have to have one\u2014though we could\u2014we simply understand and accept our desire for what it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Both aspects are needed for Radical Acceptance. <strong>Either one on its own will create an unbalanced and harmful mindset.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Recognition without compassion may leave us aware of what we\u2019re experiencing, but without the tools to cope with it. We could end up digging ourselves deeper into those feelings by dwelling on them or judging and blaming ourselves for getting into whatever situation caused them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Compassion without recognition causes a different kind of problem: Instead of trapping ourselves in self-reproach, we trap ourselves in self-pity. We create narratives wherein we tried our best but still couldn\u2019t get what we wanted or needed. This is the trap of accepting experiences without truly understanding them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Freedom Through Radical Acceptance<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/low-self-worth\/\">Feeling unworthy<\/a> puts us into a sort of trance.<\/strong> We can\u2019t see past our own perceived shortcomings; our self-image becomes twisted and ugly, and we feel unkind both toward ourselves and others. We start behaving like tigers freed from long captivity\u2014we pace the same tiny corners of our minds over and over, and never realize that the cage is an illusion.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Radical Acceptance is how we awaken from that trance. Recognition of, and compassion for, our own moment-to-moment experiences help us to recognize when we\u2019re caught in harmful patterns. We must recognize when we\u2019re stuck in habits of fighting (others or ourselves), judging (again, others or ourselves), and trying to control our pleasures and pains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With that understanding, we can start to see other ways forward. If we stop being so afraid of unpleasant experiences and demanding people, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/learn-to-forgive-the-five-people-you-meet-in-heaven\/\">learn to forgive<\/a> ourselves for our own mistakes, we can start taking down the defenses that block out so much of the world. <strong>Rather than trying to control life, we can simply live it.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Buddhists call this <em>clear comprehension<\/em>: seeing things as they are. That includes patterns that emerge in our lives, and broader consequences of our thoughts and actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Accepting Negative Feelings<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The times we need Radical Acceptance the most may be when it seems impossible to practice\u2014when we\u2019re angry, or afraid, or hurting. These are the times when we must be the kindest to ourselves.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We can begin by asking ourselves simple, friendly questions.<\/strong><strong> <\/strong>Imagine that you\u2019re talking to a friend about how her day went. You\u2019re not looking to pass judgment or make any changes, you\u2019re just curious and looking for insight. The following anecdote shows a powerful example of this practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There was a clinical psychologist and practicing Buddhist, whom we\u2019ll call Jacob. Jacob was in the early stages of Alzheimer\u2019s Disease when he went to give a talk on Buddhism to an audience of over 100 people. He got up on stage and suddenly realized that he had no idea where he was or why. Jacob began to panic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rather than being ruled by his feelings, Jacob practiced a mindfulness technique\u2014he turned his attention inward and asked himself what he was experiencing. Then he started naming his experiences aloud: fear, embarrassment, confusion, and so on. As the exercise took effect and he started calming down, he shared that experience too. Finally, after several minutes, he returned his attention to his audience.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many of the people there were deeply moved. Jacob\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-meditation-mindfulness\/\">meditation<\/a> had been both a practical lesson about mindfulness and a powerful insight into Alzheimer\u2019s Disease.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The exercise worked because Jacob embraced his experience with open curiosity and acceptance. He didn\u2019t try to fight against his fear and confusion, because they weren\u2019t something to be fought\u2014they were simply his reality at that moment. <strong>Jacob didn\u2019t create an enemy where there wasn\u2019t one.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A common story of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-journey\/\">Buddha<\/a> has a similar lesson. Mara, the god of deception, appeared frequently throughout the Buddha\u2019s life to attack him or try to sway him from his enlightenment. Each time Mara came, the Buddha acknowledged his presence with a simple, \u201cI see you, Mara.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rather than trying to block Mara out or drive him away, the Buddha would invite him in for tea. They would talk for a while, and eventually Mara would realize that his illusions and lies were powerless against the Buddha\u2019s acceptance and kindness. Each time, Mara eventually left on his own, leaving the Buddha completely unharmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Welcoming Mara<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>All of us will have our own visits from \u201cMara\u201d throughout our lives. These visits may come in the form of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-difficult-emotions\/\">difficult emotions<\/a> like anger and fear, or in the form of the stories we tell ourselves. Every time we tell ourselves that we\u2019re not good enough, doomed to unhappiness, an embarrassment, or whatever judgments we pass on ourselves, that could be seen as a visit from Mara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like the Buddha, and like Jacob, we can meet these experiences with unconditional friendliness. Sometimes we\u2019ll catch ourselves lashing out at those around us, or stewing in frustration over every little problem. That\u2019s a chance to name our experiences like Jacob did, and invite them in for tea like the Buddha did.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>By naming our hardships, we rob them of some of their power.<\/strong> Approach this with a spirit of friendly questioning; you\u2019re not seeking to judge, only to understand. For example, you might ask yourself if you\u2019re <em>really <\/em>so angry because there\u2019s a fly in your office, or if you\u2019re stressed about your work and worried that you\u2019re falling behind. Finding and recognizing what we\u2019re actually experiencing is how we say, \u201cI see you, Mara.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once we understand what\u2019s happening to us, the next step is to welcome it. In the spirit of Radical Acceptance, we can say \u201cyes\u201d to our experiences, no matter what they may be. Say \u201cyes\u201d to the frustration, to the sadness, to the desire. Love yourself and all of your experiences. In other words, greet Mara as an old friend and invite him in for tea. <strong>By welcoming our experiences in this way, we allow them to rise up and fade away without gaining power over us.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Fear and Desire<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Desire and fear are two of the most powerful forces in our lives. Desire attracts us to things, and fear drives us away from them. If we don\u2019t encounter them with mindfulness and acceptance, we may find that the push and pull of those two emotions drive our every thought and action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s a common misconception that Buddhism is anti-pleasure and anti-desire. People can come away with the impression that they\u2019re not supposed to want things, or to pursue those wants. In fact, Buddha\u2019s teachings were never about eliminating or ignoring desire.<strong> <\/strong><strong>As with all of our experiences, Buddha merely urges us not to be ruled by it.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we encounter desire in any form\u2014whether it\u2019s desire for food, companionship, a new gadget, or anything else\u2014we should meet it without resistance and without letting it possess us. We should meet desire with mindfulness; in other words, with Radical Acceptance. In doing so, we\u2019ll find that we can experience desire but live freely in spite of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The writer D.H. Lawrence once said that people who just do whatever they want at the moment aren\u2019t free. On a superficial level it might feel like freedom, but their every action is being commanded by their desires. <strong>The Buddha\u2019s teachings about desire are really about avoiding that false freedom.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fear, like desire, is a natural and necessary force. Fear warns us of danger and prepares us\u2014physically and mentally\u2014to run, fight, or hide from it. In its purest form, fear is a desire for life and an aversion to death.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, fear often goes beyond what\u2019s needed to keep us alive. We may find ourselves tense and on guard, even when there\u2019s no threat to our safety. Our minds may be working constantly, trying to figure out what will go wrong next. <strong>When this is the case, we\u2019re in a state of defending our lives rather than living them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Furthermore, the effect isn\u2019t just physical. Fear also creates rigid, habitual <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-break-negative-thought-patterns\/\">thought patterns<\/a>. <strong>The intense focus that helps us respond to real threats becomes obsession.<\/strong> Our minds, which are hardwired to look for patterns, tell us endless stories about what could go wrong and how we might avoid it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Accepting Desire<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Many mainstream religions, from Judaism and Christianity to Buddhism and Confucianism, teach that desire causes suffering. While that can be true, the lesson is often delivered with a lack of nuance that only makes matters worse. We come to believe that <em>all <\/em>desire is sinful, and that feeling it is a sign that we\u2019re flawed and selfish. We berate ourselves for experiencing natural urges, and we fear the intensity of our own passions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>However, desire isn\u2019t sinful or wrong, it\u2019s natural.<\/strong> Moreover, we can learn to face desire without blaming ourselves for it or letting it control us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we find ourselves gripped by desire, we should begin by taking a pause. Don\u2019t immediately chase after what you want; instead, recognize what\u2019s happening to you and take a step back to observe your experience.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A key realization that comes from such mindfulness is that those desires and experiences aren\u2019t our fault.<strong> <\/strong>We don\u2019t create them, and we\u2019re not to blame for them; they simply exist. It\u2019s up to us to accept them for what they are.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>This realization frees us from the fear and shame that come with unmet desires.<\/strong> We come to understand that experiencing desire doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re flawed or sinful people\u2014we\u2019re simply people who have natural experiences.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Accepting Fear<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Like desire, we often make fear personal when it really isn\u2019t. We think that we\u2019re afraid because of some flaw or mistake that we\u2019ve made, and we blame ourselves for it. This may be a carryover from childhood: Children often make sense of hurtful or frightening situations by blaming themselves, because the thought of their caregivers or the world being cruel and painful seems impossible.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In short, we aren\u2019t just afraid; we\u2019re afraid that we\u2019re going to be punished for something we did wrong. We think we\u2019ve made a mistake and somehow left ourselves vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Worry and anxiety can prevent us from existing fully in the moment. When we\u2019re constantly withdrawn and tense, when our minds are hyperaware of our surroundings and telling us that these feelings are our own fault, we can\u2019t accept and live our experiences.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As with desire, we can awaken from the trance by taking a pause and practicing Radical Acceptance. <strong>When we examine our fear and welcome it in, we\u2019ll come to understand that it\u2019s not something we created\u2014it\u2019s not our fault.<\/strong> Like any other experience, we can allow the fear to rise up and fade away without affecting us. That allows us to tackle the source of the fear\u2014the problem\u2014with clarity and understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Compassion and Relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The word <em>compassion <\/em>means \u201cto feel with.\u201d <strong>Compassion is when we respond to pain\u2014our own or someone else\u2019s\u2014with tenderness and love.<\/strong> It goes directly against our societal conditioning, which tells us to run from pain. However, compassion allows us to embrace our experiences instead of constantly fighting against them. Far from avoiding pain, we have to intentionally focus on it in order to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/cultivate-compassion\/\">cultivate compassion<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Meeting our pain with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-power-of-compassion\/\">compassion and Radical Acceptance<\/a> is doubly hard because, like with desire and fear, we often blame ourselves for our pain. We might tell ourselves that we haven\u2019t been taking proper care of ourselves, or that we made a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-avoid-silly-mistakes\/\">stupid mistake<\/a> that led to our current pain.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Instead, we can meet that suffering with compassion. <\/strong>We can say to ourselves, \u201cI care about this pain. May this pain kindle compassion.\u201d It\u2019ll probably feel strange at first, or even embarrassing\u2014we aren\u2019t used to offering ourselves compassion in this way. However, by continuing to practice compassion for our own pain, we can start to let go of our own pains and the insecurities that come with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Radical Acceptance can help to strip away the blame and shame we put upon ourselves. When we\u2019re blocking out painful experiences, compassion helps to bring down the walls. In many cases, compassion is necessary for emotional and spiritual healing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Compassion for Others<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>When we have awareness and compassion in our relationships\u2014in other words, when we approach them with Radical Acceptance\u2014they can be powerful tools for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/spiritual-evolution\/\">spiritual growth<\/a> and healing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Note that \u201drelationships\u201d here doesn\u2019t just mean romantic relationships. We have relationships with everyone we interact with: family, friends, teachers, colleagues, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019ve discussed how Radical Acceptance tells us that our suffering isn\u2019t wrong, and pain doesn\u2019t mean that there\u2019s something wrong with us. <strong>We can get that same message from others, and give it back to them.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Giving Radical Acceptance to others reminds them that they are inherently good, and worthy of love. When we practice Radical Acceptance of others, and they practice Radical Acceptance of us, we can find wells of confidence and strength we never knew that we had.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For an example of what this strength can do, Radical Acceptance is the key to interventions for alcoholics or drug addicts. An intervention isn\u2019t about confronting or attacking the addict. Instead, the key is to let the addict see and hear the people who love him in spite of the harm he\u2019d caused to himself and others.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>In short, relationships have power that individuals lack.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Our Essential Goodness<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Each of us has an essential goodness at the core of our beings\u2014what the Dalai Lama calls \u201cBuddha nature.\u201d We are, at heart, beings of awareness and love. However, it\u2019s often hard to see that essential goodness in ourselves or in others. <strong>Rediscovering it is one major goal of Radical Acceptance.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we feel betrayed (like by a cheating spouse, for example) we often lash out in anger. We attack the one who hurt us, and initially put the blame on him or her. However, many of our negative experiences also put us into the trance of unworthiness\u2014we come to think that we\u2019re having problems because there\u2019s something wrong with us. Our outward resentment of that other person then reflects our inner resentment of ourselves\u2014the betrayal confirms our feelings that we\u2019re unworthy of love.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Recognizing the difference between <\/strong><strong><em>doing bad things<\/em><\/strong><strong> and <\/strong><strong><em>being a bad person<\/em><\/strong><strong> is a difficult task. <\/strong>It requires looking past harmful behaviors to see each person\u2019s vulnerability and pain, and the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-nature\/\">Buddha nature<\/a> beneath all of that. It requires Radical Acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Seeing the Goodness in Others<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Other people have Buddha nature at the core of their beings, just like we do.<\/strong> If we concentrate on seeing past everything extraneous like people\u2019s appearance, actions, and our own labels for them, we start to see that we\u2019re all essentially the same: beings made of love and awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are various techniques that can help us see this basic goodness in others:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One practice is to imagine other people as children. No matter how frustrated parents may get with their children, many of them will feel simple, powerful love during quiet times; times when the child isn\u2019t asking for yet another cookie, or bothering the parent during an important meeting. As with children, we don\u2019t necessarily dislike people just because we\u2019re frustrated with their behavior.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another method is to imagine that you\u2019re meeting someone for the first time. Let go of your history with that person and your habitual labels for him or her. Simply encounter people as they are in that moment, not as you imagine them based on past interactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, imagine that you\u2019re seeing someone for the <em>last <\/em>time. What do you admire about that person? What would you want to remember if you knew you\u2019d never see him or her again?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Seeing the essential goodness in people naturally awakens what Buddhists call <em>metta<\/em>, translated as \u201clovingkindness.\u201d Simply put, metta is a wish for someone\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/good-health-and-happiness\/\">health and happiness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>This practice of universal lovingkindness is based on the understanding that every person\u2019s deepest wish is simply to be loved.<\/strong> According to the Buddha, lovingkindness is the single most important spiritual practice. Wishing for universal peace and happiness helps us to reconnect with the essential goodness that exists in all people, and it all begins with Radical Acceptance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is Radical Acceptance about? How does Tara Brach combine the psychological aspects of Radical Acceptance with Buddhist teachings? Radical Acceptance is the practice of acknowledging your experiences so you can be more present in the moment. Dr. Tara Brach is a psychologist and a devout Buddhist and she explains how we can learn to accept each moment as it comes\u2014without judging our experiences or ourselves. Continue on to learn more about Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":31515,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,9,6],"tags":[255],"class_list":["post-31512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-radical-acceptance","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Radical Acceptance: Tara Brach and Buddhism - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach is a book about living in the present. 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