{"id":31449,"date":"2021-04-01T18:33:20","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T22:33:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=31449"},"modified":"2021-04-10T19:16:52","modified_gmt":"2021-04-10T23:16:52","slug":"a-bodhisattva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/","title":{"rendered":"Be Compassionate Like a Buddhist Bodhisattva"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is a bodhisattva in Buddhism? How can you work to rid yourself of feelings of otherness? Why is it so important to expand your group?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who could enter Nirvana, but chooses to stay on Earth and help others reach it instead. While it would be difficult for most of us to start making sacrifices for others, we can still work to be more compassionate and to eliminate the lines between &#8220;us&#8221; and  &#8220;them.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue on to learn more about bodhisattvas and selflessness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Compassion and the Bodhisattva<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Compassion grows in circles.<\/strong> For example, we might start by finding compassion for our closest friends and family. From there, we could expand our compassion to include people we see, but may not know very well: Our friends\u2019 parents, for example, or the people we regularly see at the gym or in classes. In embracing compassion, we might start to recognize how many people around us suffer with the same fears, insecurities, and pain that we do. That is the first step to becoming a bodhisattva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The final step is extending your awareness and compassion without limit\u2014caring for everyone who\u2019s suffering anywhere in the world, everyone who feels alone and afraid. This kind of awareness and compassion helps us as well; it reminds us that there\u2019s nothing wrong with us when we feel hurt or scared; it\u2019s simply part of being human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Buddhism, a <em>bodhisattva <\/em>is someone who could enter Nirvana (paradise), but chooses to stay on Earth and help others reach it instead. A bodhisattva is the embodiment of selflessness: Someone who forgoes ultimate happiness in order to help others find it. While many of us may not have the chance to enter Nirvana in our lifetimes, <strong>we can aspire to similar levels of compassion by continually growing our own circles.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Illusion of the \u201cOther\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When we\u2019re caught up in our own stories, everyone else tends to become \u201cother.\u201d<\/strong> They seem separate from us, different, not quite real. We start assigning them roles, as if they\u2019re characters in a show: Some are allies, some are enemies, and most of them don\u2019t matter to us at all.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The more different people seem from us, the less real they tend to feel. It becomes easy to dismiss anyone of a different race, religion, or socioeconomic background. We focus on superficial aspects of people and assign them labels.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Those labels could be complimentary, like \u201cstar,\u201d or even \u201chero.\u201d However, they can also be derogatory, like \u201cbum,\u201d or \u201calcoholic.\u201d Sometimes the labels are less concrete and more to do with behavior, like \u201cboring,\u201d \u201cneedy,\u201d or \u201cpushy.\u201d By <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negative-labels\/\">labeling<\/a> people this way, we make it easier to view them as <em>other<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once we start seeing someone as a label, and not a real person with real feelings, we don\u2019t consider their pain anymore.<strong> At this point we don\u2019t just ignore them; we can hurt them without feeling anything ourselves.<\/strong> This method of other-ing people is what leads a father to disown his gay son, or a patriot to cheer when people on the other side of a war die.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Expand Your Group<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This sense of \u201cother\u201d has its roots in biology. We\u2019re programmed to look for members of our own group and shun those who look, or act, or even smell different. These habits used to help us keep ourselves and our relatives alive, and it\u2019s a powerful instinct even in modern times.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, it\u2019s possible to lower our defenses. We can expand our idea of what our \u201cgroup\u201d is, enlarging it in the widening circles we discussed before. Doing so is another type of Radical Acceptance\u2014accepting others as they are, without inventing stories or passing judgment. This is also key to feeling compassion like a bodhisattva does; a bodhisattva sees the entire world as his or her group.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s an old Sikh story that demonstrates what it means to see everything\u2014not just all humans, but all living things\u2014as real. In the story, an old master calls his two most faithful students to attend him. He gives each of them a chicken, and tells them to go someplace where nobody can see them and to kill the chicken.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One student immediately obeys. He goes behind a shed and slaughters the bird. The other walks around for hours, and eventually returns with the chicken still alive. He tells the master that his task was impossible, for there was nowhere he could go that the chicken wouldn\u2019t see. <strong>The second student saw the chicken as a real being.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Reopening Our Hearts<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There will be times when even the people we\u2019re closest to make us feel imposed upon, frustrated, scared, or disgusted. That doesn\u2019t mean that we\u2019re failing as compassionate beings, it just means that we need to turn our attention and our Radical Acceptance inward again. <strong>We need to understand and have compassion for our own experience. <\/strong>Then we can move outward and have compassion for the other person\u2019s experience like a bodhisattva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We may often find that our negative response toward this other person is because we\u2019ve distanced ourselves from him or her. We may have accidentally reduced the other person to a label like \u201cstudent\u201d or \u201cmother.\u201d Practicing Radical Acceptance on our own reactions, and then expanding that compassion to encompass the other person, will allow us to engage with and care for that person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Compassion for others often begins with the question \u201cwhat do they need?\u201d<\/strong> Practicing asking this question\u2014both to ourselves and others\u2014helps to get us away from our own needs and to act from a place of true compassion. For example, perhaps all someone really needs at a given moment is to be heard and understood. Someone who wants to be seen as helpful and competent might listen to that person, but then offer advice where it\u2019s not wanted. Even if her intentions are good, she\u2019s acting based on her needs rather than the other person\u2019s.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, compassion can go beyond just understanding another person\u2019s needs. Imagining yourself in another person\u2019s shoes is the very heart of compassion\u2014what would it be like to inhabit that person\u2019s mind and body, to exist in his or her circumstances?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Role Reversal<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s a psychological technique called <em>role reversal <\/em>that\u2019s designed to encourage this type of compassion. For example, say that a husband and wife were having marital difficulties. Role reversal would begin with one of them\u2014perhaps the wife\u2014describing her current experiences; how she perceives and feels about her current situation. Then the husband would pretend to be the wife, and try to speak from her perspective about those same issues. Next, the process would repeat with the focus on the husband\u2019s experiences.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Role reversal is a formalized method of getting ourselves out of our own heads and into another person\u2019s, as much as possible. However, we don\u2019t have to go through that entire process every time we try to have compassion for someone else. It\u2019s often enough to simply imagine what the other person may be thinking or feeling, and to consider how we could help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is a bodhisattva in Buddhism? How can you work to rid yourself of feelings of otherness? Why is it so important to expand your group? In Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who could enter Nirvana, but chooses to stay on Earth and help others reach it instead. While it would be difficult for most of us to start making sacrifices for others, we can still work to be more compassionate and to eliminate the lines between &#8220;us&#8221; and &#8220;them.&#8221; Continue on to learn more about bodhisattvas and selflessness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":31457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,24,6],"tags":[255],"class_list":["post-31449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ethics","category-society","category-spiritual","tag-radical-acceptance","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Be Compassionate Like a Buddhist Bodhisattva - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who could enter Nirvana, but chooses to stay on Earth and help others reach it instead.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Be Compassionate Like a Buddhist Bodhisattva\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who could enter Nirvana, but chooses to stay on Earth and help others reach it instead.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-04-01T22:33:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-04-10T23:16:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/man-donating-to-homeless.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"817\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"541\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"Be Compassionate Like a Buddhist Bodhisattva\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-01T22:33:20+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-10T23:16:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/\"},\"wordCount\":1233,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/man-donating-to-homeless.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Radical Acceptance\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Ethics\",\"Society\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-bodhisattva\/\",\"name\":\"Be Compassionate Like a Buddhist Bodhisattva - 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