{"id":31429,"date":"2021-04-05T18:45:26","date_gmt":"2021-04-05T22:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=31429"},"modified":"2021-04-10T19:15:36","modified_gmt":"2021-04-10T23:15:36","slug":"buddha-and-mara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/","title":{"rendered":"Buddha and Mara: Accept Your Negative Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is the story of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-journey\/\">Buddha<\/a> and Mara? What does it mean to invite your negative feelings in for tea?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the story, the god Mara tried to sway Siddhartha but Siddhartha met every challenge with Radical Acceptance. Instead of trying to ignore Mara, Buddha acknowledged his presence by saying, &#8220;I see you, Mara&#8221; and eventually Mara would leave on his own. This story is about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accepting-your-emotions\/\">accepting your feelings<\/a> instead of repressing them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue on to learn about the story of Buddha, Mara, and Radical Acceptance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Story of Buddha and Mara<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The story of Buddha and Mara begins like this: after bathing, eating, and resting, Siddhartha found solitude under a pipal tree\u2014now called the bodhi tree\u2014and began to meditate. In his meditations, he confronted the embodiment of the human shadow, in the form of the god Mara (the Sanskrit word for <em>delusion<\/em>).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mara tried to sway him with seduction, threats, and promises. However, Siddhartha met each challenge with Radical Acceptance; he neither pursued nor pushed away what Mara offered. Because Siddhartha refused to be ruled by the delusions, they had no power to harm him. Finally, the earth itself bore witness to Siddhartha\u2019s right to be the Buddha, and Mara fled.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mara didn\u2019t give up after their fateful encounter at the bodhi tree. He returned multiple times throughout the Buddha\u2019s life to attack him or try to sway him from his enlightenment.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Each time Mara appeared, the Buddha acknowledged his presence with a simple, \u201cI see you, Mara.\u201d Rather than trying to block Mara out or drive him away, the Buddha would invite him in for tea. Eventually Mara would leave on his own, powerless as always against the Buddha\u2019s acceptance and kindness.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Visits From Mara<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>All of us will have our own visits from Mara throughout our lives. These visits may come in the form of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-difficult-emotions\/\">difficult emotions<\/a> like anger and fear, or in the form of the stories we tell ourselves. Every time we tell ourselves that we\u2019re not good enough, doomed to unhappiness, an embarrassment, or whatever judgments we pass on ourselves, that could be seen as a visit from Mara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like the Buddha, we can meet these experiences with unconditional friendliness. Sometimes we\u2019ll catch ourselves lashing out at those around us, or stewing in frustration over every little problem. That\u2019s a chance to name our experiences and invite them in for tea like the Buddha did.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>By naming our hardships, we rob them of some of their power.<\/strong> Approach this with a spirit of friendly questioning; you\u2019re not seeking to judge, only to understand. For example, you might ask yourself if you\u2019re <em>really <\/em>so angry because there\u2019s a fly in your office, or if you\u2019re stressed about your work and worried that you\u2019re falling behind. Finding and recognizing what we\u2019re actually experiencing is how we say, \u201cI see you, Mara.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once we understand what\u2019s happening to us, the next step is to welcome&nbsp; it. In the spirit of Radical Acceptance, we can say \u201cyes\u201d to our experiences, no matter what they may be. Say \u201cyes\u201d to the frustration, to the sadness, to the desire. Love yourself and all of your experiences. In other words, greet Mara as an old friend and invite him in for tea. By welcoming the experiences in this way, we allow them to pass through us without gaining power over us.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Say &#8220;Yes&#8221; to Your Life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>While Radical Acceptance begins with saying yes to our moment-to-moment experiences, it doesn\u2019t have to end there. We can learn to say yes to the entire life we\u2019re living, whatever that life looks like at the moment. We can say yes to our appearance, our personality, our friendships, and our secular and spiritual work, all at once.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is an important practice in a culture that encourages us to aim for perfection. That unattainable goal means that, when we take a step back to examine our lives, we often feel like things aren\u2019t working out quite the way they should be. That\u2019s when Mara pays a visit, and we have another opportunity for friendly questioning and Radical Acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps, if your life isn\u2019t \u201cright,\u201d the question could be, \u201cRight compared to what?\u201d What standard are you setting, and is it even attainable? Why should that be necessary for happiness? <strong>Rather than fighting against your own story of what life <em>should be,<\/em> invite your current messy, imperfect life to sit with you and have a cup of tea.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the story of Buddha and Mara? What does it mean to invite your negative feelings in for tea? In the story, the god Mara tried to sway Siddhartha but Siddhartha met every challenge with Radical Acceptance. Instead of trying to ignore Mara, Buddha acknowledged his presence by saying, &#8220;I see you, Mara&#8221; and eventually Mara would leave on his own. This story is about accepting your feelings instead of repressing them. Continue on to learn about the story of Buddha, Mara, and Radical Acceptance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":31433,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9,6],"tags":[255],"class_list":["post-31429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-radical-acceptance","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Buddha and Mara: Accept Your Negative Feelings - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The story of Buddha and Mara is about welcoming and accepting your negative feelings instead of trying to block them out.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Buddha and Mara: Accept Your Negative Feelings\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The story of Buddha and Mara is about welcoming and accepting your negative feelings instead of trying to block them out.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-04-05T22:45:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-04-10T23:15:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/buddha-statue-in-woods.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"967\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"540\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"Buddha and Mara: Accept Your Negative Feelings\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-04-05T22:45:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-04-10T23:15:36+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/\"},\"wordCount\":779,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/buddha-statue-in-woods.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Radical Acceptance\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Psychology\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/buddha-and-mara\/\",\"name\":\"Buddha and Mara: Accept Your Negative Feelings - 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