{"id":28935,"date":"2021-03-18T08:11:44","date_gmt":"2021-03-18T12:11:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=28935"},"modified":"2021-03-21T22:34:30","modified_gmt":"2021-03-22T02:34:30","slug":"the-law-of-influence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/","title":{"rendered":"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is the Law of Influence<\/a>? How can putting other people’s interests first benefit you in the long run? Why is a win-win situation actually a losing proposition? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Law of Influence from The Go-Giver<\/em> states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first. It\u2019s actually a form of enlightened self-interest: You meet others\u2019 needs with the faith that in doing so, you\u2019ll get what you<\/em> need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue on to learn about the Law of Influence and how Joe from The Go-Giver <\/em>learned to apply it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Law of Influence<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Law of Influence: Your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joe and Pindar visited Sam Rosen, a financier and owner of the Liberty Life Insurance and Financial Services Company, the most successful financial services company in the world. Sam explained that he\u2019d started his career as a struggling insurance agent. But his fortunes changed for the better when he began focusing on giving rather than getting\u2014he became his company\u2019s top salesman<\/a>. In his later years, he began working with nonprofits and became a philanthropist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sam told Joe that besides giving, a key to success is expanding your influence by building a network<\/a> of people who know, like, and trust you\u2014an \u201carmy of personal ambassadors,\u201d who might not necessarily buy from you but who always have you in mind. With such an army, you\u2019ll have a stream of referrals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop Keeping Score<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The way to create a network of personal ambassadors is to stop \u201ckeeping score.\u201d In the business and political worlds, you typically keep track of favors\u2014you do favors expecting that others will return the favors and you keep track of who \u201cowes\u201d you. In fact, transactions that people refer to as a win-win are really a way of keeping track\u2014of making sure everyone comes out even and no one gets the edge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you base your relationships on who owes what to whom, you\u2019re being a creditor, not a friend<\/strong>. The third law of success<\/a> is that your influence is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first. This means rejecting a win-win and putting the other person\u2019s win first\u2014watching out for her interests. Striving for a fifty-fifty outcome is \u201ca losing proposition,\u201d Sam said. \u201cThe only winning proposition is 100%.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pindar added that the Law of Influence generates success because if you put the other person\u2019s interests first, your interests<\/a> will always be taken care of<\/strong>. It\u2019s actually a form of enlightened self-interest: You meet others\u2019 needs with the faith that in doing so, you\u2019ll get what you<\/em> need. Pindar explained it this way: Most people think money, success, and status give you influence. However, influence comes first\u2014influence creates success. And putting others\u2019 interests first creates influence. Therefore, putting others\u2019 interests first creates success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After they left Sam, Joe commented to Pindar that the three people he\u2019d met\u2014Ernesto, Nicole, and Sam\u2014all had a common quality: personal magnetism. Pindar explained it was giving that made them attractive: givers attract. And Joe thought, the Law of Influence (putting other people\u2019s interests first) works because it magnetizes you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Applying The Law of Influence<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When Joe arrived at home, he found that his wife Susan had had a difficult day. Both had high-stress jobs and needed to vent, but they didn\u2019t let it get out of hand because they usually brought home additional work to be done before bedtime. They had a rule that neither would complain for longer than a half-hour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Susan began to vent about her day and a half-hour quickly passed. Realizing she\u2019d gone over the time limit, she stopped and apologized, saying, \u201cA deal\u2019s a deal.\u201d It reminded Joe of what he\u2019d heard earlier in the day: Fifty-fifty is a losing proposition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without thinking further, he said his work could wait and he wanted to hear about her day. Susan went on for a long time and he wasn\u2019t sure it had helped. But when he woke up the next morning after she\u2019d left for work, he found a heartfelt note from her thanking him for his selflessness in listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joe realized that the Law of Influence and the other giving-related laws applied not only to work but also to life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is the Law of Influence? How can putting other people’s interests first benefit you in the long run? Why is a win-win situation actually a losing proposition? The Law of Influence from The Go-Giver states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first. It\u2019s actually a form of enlightened self-interest: You meet others\u2019 needs with the faith that in doing so, you\u2019ll get what you need. Continue on to learn about the Law of Influence and how Joe from The Go-Giver learned to apply it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":28936,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,12,24],"tags":[232],"class_list":["post-28935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-relationships","category-society","tag-the-go-giver","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Law of Influence states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Law of Influence states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-03-18T12:11:44+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-03-22T02:34:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1060\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"669\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-03-18T12:11:44+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-03-22T02:34:30+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\"},\"wordCount\":755,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Go-Giver\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Business\",\"Relationships\",\"Society\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\",\"name\":\"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-03-18T12:11:44+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-03-22T02:34:30+00:00\",\"description\":\"The Law of Influence states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg\",\"width\":1060,\"height\":669},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World's Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\",\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Hannah Aster\"},\"description\":\"Hannah is a seasoned writer and editor who started her journey with Shortform nearly five years ago. She grew up reading mostly fiction books but transitioned to non-fiction writing when she started her travel website in 2018. When she's not writing or traveling, you can find Hannah working on home reno projects, crafting, or taking care of plants.\",\"knowsAbout\":[\"Graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree in English and minors in professional and creative writing\"],\"jobTitle\":\"SEO Team Lead\",\"worksFor\":\"Shortform\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/hannah\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score - Shortform Books","description":"The Law of Influence states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score","og_description":"The Law of Influence states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2021-03-18T12:11:44+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-03-22T02:34:30+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1060,"height":669,"url":"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Hannah Aster","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Hannah Aster","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/"},"author":{"name":"Hannah Aster","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f"},"headline":"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score","datePublished":"2021-03-18T12:11:44+00:00","dateModified":"2021-03-22T02:34:30+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/"},"wordCount":755,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg","keywords":["The Go-Giver"],"articleSection":["Business","Relationships","Society"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/","name":"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg","datePublished":"2021-03-18T12:11:44+00:00","dateModified":"2021-03-22T02:34:30+00:00","description":"The Law of Influence states that your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people\u2019s interests first.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg","width":1060,"height":669},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Law of Influence: Stop Keeping Score"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World's Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f","name":"Hannah Aster","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Hannah Aster"},"description":"Hannah is a seasoned writer and editor who started her journey with Shortform nearly five years ago. She grew up reading mostly fiction books but transitioned to non-fiction writing when she started her travel website in 2018. When she's not writing or traveling, you can find Hannah working on home reno projects, crafting, or taking care of plants.","knowsAbout":["Graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree in English and minors in professional and creative writing"],"jobTitle":"SEO Team Lead","worksFor":"Shortform","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/hannah\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/make-a-deal.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28935","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28935"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28935\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28937,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28935\/revisions\/28937"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}