{"id":27579,"date":"2021-02-22T10:23:57","date_gmt":"2021-02-22T14:23:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=27579"},"modified":"2021-02-28T21:11:41","modified_gmt":"2021-03-01T01:11:41","slug":"state-of-chaos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/state-of-chaos\/","title":{"rendered":"Embrace the State of Chaos: It Can Be Beautiful"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you live in a state of chaos at home? Do you worry that other people&#8217;s lives are perfect and your life isn&#8217;t?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In truth, we <em>all<\/em> are living in a state of chaos, no matter how things appear, and we handle it in one of three ways: Ignore the chaos, battle the chaos, and drown in the chaos. The answer is: embrace the beauty of chaos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading to discover how you can stop comparing your life to others and enjoy your state of chaos .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Other People\u2019s Lives Are <em>Not<\/em> Perfect<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Many women are struggling to keep up with the demands of parenthood, home life and work. They feel like they never get a moment\u2019s peace. Other people\u2019s lives look calmer and more organized; this can lead to a sense that you\u2019re failing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In truth, we <em>all<\/em> are living in a state of chaos, no matter how things appear, and we handle it in one of three ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Ignore the chaos<\/strong>. Keep your head down and pretend the chaos of family life isn\u2019t there, and work even harder. The problem with this method is that a state of chaos is stressful, and stress can manifest in physical ways. (Rachel Hollis experienced Bell\u2019s palsy and vertigo.) Insomnia, headaches and hives are some physical manifestations of stress.<\/li><li><strong>Battle the chaos<\/strong>. We do everything in our power to maintain a picture-perfect existence, furiously cleaning and trying to keep up. The problem with battling the state of chaos is that we always lose. Life is crazy, stressful and overwhelming, and losing battles against everyday life can make us feel like a failure.<\/li><li><strong>Drown in the chaos<\/strong>. When we\u2019re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/overwhelmed-by-housework\/\">overwhelmed by housework<\/a>, work, kids, friends and obligations, it can feel insurmountable, so we give up and wallow. The problem with drowning is that we let the state of chaos win and can\u2019t do the things we need to do &#8212; raise our kids and pay our bills.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>All three of these coping methods &#8212; ignoring, battling, drowning &#8212; can lead us down the path of substance abuse, using alcohol, food or pills to deal with the stress. The problem with these three methods is that they imply that <em>you<\/em> are in control of the mess and chaos around you, but much of this is not in our control. While we may be in control of ourselves, we can\u2019t control much of what we\u2019re dealing with &#8212; the actions of others, our children\u2019s moods, problems that crop up. <strong>Thinking we can control everything is a recipe for anger, frustration and stress because we are <\/strong><strong><em>not<\/em><\/strong><strong> in control of everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How Do We Learn to Accept and Embrace the State of Chaos?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The answer is to embrace the chaos<strong> &#8212; <\/strong>see the beauty in the state of chaos. This requires a shift in thinking. Our current situation, however stressful, is temporary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-do-people-learn\/\">How do we learn<\/a> to accept and embrace the chaos?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Cut yourself some slack.<\/strong> We all mess up, scream at the kids, forget events. This loss of control is upsetting, but tomorrow is a new day and a chance to try again.<\/li><li><strong>Find humor in the situation<\/strong>. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-push-yourself\/\">Push yourself<\/a> to laugh at hard situations &#8212; the crazier the situation, the more humor you\u2019ll likely find.<ul><li>Hollis shares an anecdote about an interview the family went through while being certified as foster parents. Her son, when asked what made him sad, said, \u201cWhen Daddy scares me at night.\u201d He meant when his dad had to return him to his bed in the middle of the night, dad was grouchy. This situation was stressful, but ultimately funny.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><strong>Look for the \u201cfruits of the spirit,<\/strong>\u201d which are love, joy, patience, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Choose the one that most resonates with you in the stressful moment.<\/li><li><strong>Take care of yourself<\/strong>. Take a break and take some time out just for you. When you are refreshed, you can better handle all the madness when you come back.<\/li><li><strong>Find your tribe<\/strong>. Supportive friends in similar situations can help you see you\u2019re not alone.<\/li><li><strong>Ask for help<\/strong>. Don\u2019t try to do it all yourself; accept any and all offers of help you receive &#8212; people who want to watch the kids, bring you dinner, fold the laundry &#8212; whatever gives you more space and freedom to find your center, just say yes.<ul><li>From a Christian perspective; Understand that God is sending you all kinds of life rafts &#8212; get in the boat.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-change-your-perspective\/\">Change your perspective<\/a><\/strong>. Remember that your state of  chaos may be someone else\u2019s dream (family, children, job). This reminds you that your chaos is actually a blessing.<\/li><li><strong>View the stress and pain as a path to metamorphosis<\/strong>. Think about a caterpillar\u2019s journey into a butterfly. If it stayed a caterpillar, it would never find the beauty in what it\u2019s capable of becoming. It is scary, hard and overwhelming to change your entire being into something new. But if you don\u2019t allow change to turn you into your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-your-true-self\/\">true self<\/a>, you\u2019ll never become all you can be.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Concrete Tips for Living in the Chaos of Life&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Try these strategies to help cope with the inevitable chaos of home, work and family life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Find friends like yourself<\/strong>. Friends who are going through the same thing as you are invaluable &#8212; fellow boy moms or girl moms, fellow entrepreneurs or stay-at-home moms, moms with kids the same ages. People who can relate to your day help you feel supported, encouraged and not alone.<\/li><li><strong>Set priorities<\/strong>. Decide what\u2019s really important to you. You can\u2019t have a perfect home, run a company, train for a marathon, and work out 7 days a week at the same time. Do first what is truly important to you; if something has to wait, that\u2019s life.<\/li><li><strong>Have a happy place<\/strong>. Whether it\u2019s a glass of wine with friends, HGTV, running or baking, find something that feels like a treat or indulgence, giving you a place to reset.<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you live in a state of chaos at home? Do you worry that other people&#8217;s lives are perfect and your life isn&#8217;t? In truth, we all are living in a state of chaos, no matter how things appear, and we handle it in one of three ways: Ignore the chaos, battle the chaos, and drown in the chaos. The answer is: embrace the beauty of chaos. Continue reading to discover how you can stop comparing your life to others and enjoy your state of chaos .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":27583,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,13],"tags":[217],"class_list":["post-27579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-parenting","tag-girl-wash-your-face","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Embrace the State of Chaos: It Can Be Beautiful - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We all live in a state of chaos, no matter how things appear, and we handle it in different ways. 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